- Great chapter. I still don't understand the point of the business with Trelawney. If Harry expected her to act the way she did and couldn't let her escape; why not tank her in the first place? Oh well. I would bet that Aberforth could provide some more dirt on Albut, if he were so inclined. Thanks for writing. W.
Author's responseHeya Wolfric.
Harry did sort of expect Sybill to be unable to overcome the compulsions, but he's an intrinsically fair man. Here, he had a sick, abused woman in his care, under some powerful compulsions of a purpose unknown. He suspected the compulsions would force her to spy on his group and report to Dumbledore. Since he cloud do nothing to remove them, he wanted to give her the chance to try to overcome them on her own. That's why he put her on Tatooine. She wouldn't recognize the place and with what he told her of the planet, she would think there was little way to return to Earth. He also needed to know how effective the compulsions were, in case Albie had placed them on anyone else...which he had.
He ended up tanking her, because, despite all his precautions, she proved to be a flight risk. As a flight risk, she could compromise security. If she did manage to cross the desert, she'd be taken to the nearest hospital(or jail, depending where she ended up,and from there, the news would leak out. When Albus heard of it, he's put two and two together and find a way to return her and her acquired information to his control. It wouldn't be the worst thing to happen, but it would be dangerous to his group.
Aberforth: He's going to have fun shooting at the Jedi Students. Providing dirt will come later, when Rita publishes her upcoming biography: ALBUS DUMBLEDORE: Fact or Fiction?
- Good read. Nice to see Winky bring Dobby back into the fold. Is Harry getting a bit too cocky? Hermione & the upper ranks may have to knock some sense into him before he endangers them or himself. Hope Aberforth gets a chance to get one over Albus. Like Rita's attacks on Dumbles. Hope she has her back(exoskeleton?) protected. Cheers.
Author's responseHeya Zamia. That was real bitch to write. I had no idea how to deal with Harry's apparent betrayal of his friend. Harry and Dobby have both been betrayed so often, that they take that sort of thing seriously.
Winky is Dobby's mate, but even in canon, (except when she was drunk) she showed a more level head than Dobby. more, she's lived under Barty Crouch. With his background, she has to have picked up some military thinking. Like Lily in Chapter two, she would understand the 'why' not just the 'what'.
Dobby on the other hand has dedicated himself to being a warrior. He intends to stand by Harry's side in battle, even if it kills him. That's why he let Winky talk him into returning.
Besides, Winky would be miserable without her Dobster to cuddle up to.
Harry: Not really. While eh is getting a little cocky, it's more the confidence of a small unit commander knowing his men are excelling in their training. His 'showing off' was showing off his troops' abilities. What he did in the end, taking on three less-qualified opponents, was more a demonstration of the potential, than a 'Hey! Look at me!'
On the other hand, while Tonks is an Auror, Mack was SAS and Remus is an expert in Defense, Harry failed to consider they might have developed integrated tactics on their own. They will be teaching part of that to the students in the next three months.
Aberforth has gotten one over on Albie. He's gone without a clue. Albus is going to be wasting resources, specifically Snape trying to find out where he is. It'll take a lower priority than finding Harry, but Abe knows more about Albie than anybody alive. If Voldemort got hold of him, Albus would be at a distinct disadvantage.
Jut now, Rita is well covered. Rocheleau covers her at home, her 'disguise' covers her while she's working, and her job at this time is basically to be that annoying little brother/sister your parents insisted on your taking wherever you went. She will pick and poke at Dumbledore until eh makes a fatal mistake. Don't worry. it won't be long.
- Nice chappy, but I think you doing a disservice to the SAS by not having that SAS force that was attacked by Voldy to be abled to use lightsabers or help out in the fight against both Voldy and DarkDumbles with thier mudane weapons. Have them stay at Potter Castle with thier families. Magic and Tecnology at it's best.
Author's responseHello, Quellar.
Harry specifically asked the queen to keep the muggles out of this to prevent a magical/muggle war. While having Jedi trained Special Forces would be a good idea, I limited the Jedi to a specific group. By my reasoning, one in ten thousand people are magical, and only one in 10-20 of them would be Jedi capable. There would be a few non-magical Jedi but given the size of the British military, especially a group as small and distinct as the SAS, there wouldn't be more than two or three people who can touch the force. That's why only Mack and Rachael can use a lightsaber. They both carry the magical gene
- I was almost hoping for Dobby to assign some sort of pennance to Harry.
When Dobby didn't want to tell Harry what Hermione's light saber looked like, I immediately suspected naughty. If custom guns can be both beautiful and functional, than why can't custom light sabers be both erotic and functional?
Author's responseI can't really see Dobby doing that. He practically worships Harry and breaking off like that hurt him greatly.
Naughty Lightsabers: I hadn't considered that! You have to take Hermione's personality into consideration. While she has a naughty side, at work, she's all business. Her lightsaber would be fairly utilitarian, but more elegant, and easier to wield. Basically Harry's model, mark 2.
Now, Fleur, on the other hand...
(#) Wonderbee31 2011-01-11Same as above, I don't see why harry basically had Sybil punished, as he essentially knew she was gonna try to escape, she had to according to the compulsions, so what I saw there was him basically being cruel and mean spirited to her, so not cool imo, and my feeling for him dropped with this chapter. Did like how Rita kept sneaking in, and can imagine her tittering as she wrote up the copy for that day's story, while Albus is throwing a hissy fit in his room, and will be curious what will happen finally when he can't cast anymore, will he do something out of despair?
I did wonder what Hermione's saber was going to look like, for some reason I was thinking it was gonna be naughty or something, and lastly, I think she and the others need to watch Harry, who is starting to act a bit more like what Lucas wanted the Emperor to come across as, but unfortunately didn't have the skills to write out, and that he may be leaning more towards the dark than he evern understands.
Author's responseHeya Wonderbee.
Harry did not have her punished. As a military commander, he has to consider the safety of sixty three students, thirty four family members and guests, and eighty or more house elves, before her comfort. It sucks, but there it is. He knew the compulsions were there, and suspected their effects, but he had to find out how strong they were. If they would drive her to try to cross a desert on foot, in hopes of finding a transport, they would be too strong for her to overcome. As he said before, if she could overcome them, he'd bring her back to the castle and try to integrate her with the rest. If not, he couldn't afford a spy in his group...willing or not.
Rita: She had waaaayyy too much fun!
Albie: When the time comes, Harry is going to tell him precisely what will happen. Will Dumbledore kill himself? Hadn't considered that.
Lightsabers: Again, you have to take Hermione's personality into consideration. She's dedicated to studying and determined when she goes after something, but with the exception of her naughty side, she's pretty straightforward in style.
I'm partial to Qui Gon Jinn's lightsaber, but at this point, the only models they have to work from, are those in Star Wars, Empire and Return.
She'd see Harry's design (which I loosely based on Obi Wan's in ANH or Luke's in Return as the two are practically identical) as efficient, solid and easily handled, if a bit utilitarian. Hers would be an improvement on his.
Now, Fleur, would likely want hers to look more like Palpitine's.
Harry: He's looking into the abyss. Every solder in combat has had to do this and every one has been changed. He's harder, more determined and definitely calculating, but he is basically the same character as in canon. The effects will be long reaching, but with Hermione as his anchor, and his friends and compatriots around him, he won't fall.
- Well. You covered your mistake up fairly well and it became a decent plot point. I've done that myself either work with it or rewrite it. Working with it gives you plots and ideas that you wouldn't have come up with. Nic job.
Abe's upset about his bar, but he undersatnds the problem. No mention of Arianna?
Harry is teetering there. They might have to leave Riddle mansion alone so Harry can take the final test of confronting the Dark Side(Luke with the Tree, Kyp with the Massassi ruins, Exile with the Tomb of Ludo Kressh, etc.). At least Hermione is keeping him anchored and Harry did pull back.
There are two/three other lightsaber designs around at that time: Sun Sword from Thundarr, Beam Saber from Dragonar, Beam Saber from Gundam. Although the last two are light pink. I'm not going top tease someone like Char Aznable for carrying a pink saber. Scratch that there's a fourth: a flaming sword from the Lou Ferigno - Hercules movie. I'm unsure if the She-Ra series was playing/had played by that time with Sea Hawk's energy sword.
Ah well, at least Harry knows now what kind of compulsions there are and the need to get that box.
Snape as Darth Maul? Well, okay.
Harry wouldn't know of him, but Voldemort is more like Exar Kun than Palpatine. Some of those French might ask Harry about people from the 'Tales of the Old Republic' comic with Nomi Sunrider, Exar Kun, Ulic Quel Dorma, and so on.
Author's responseHeya Disruptor.
Thanks for pointing out the mistake. I was able to fix it fairly well, and now I can make plenty more.
The thing is, Harry is not a Jedi Knight. He has the knowledge, but he only has a few months of training behind him. He is training his people to use the force, and to handle lightsabers in order to help him destroy Voldemort and his gang. He is still the same Harry as in canon. He's grim and determined, but is also prone to anger and insecurity.
If he has to go on a voyage of self-discovery, he will do it after this is all over. Just now, he's driven to train his crew as best he can and he'll make mistakes from time to time. I see him as basically a young officer in a wartime setting.
Ariana: This is AU sixth year, and she didn't make her appearance until Book Sux part II, so I left her out. There are also no horcruxes, and Dumbledore's wand is just a wand.
Lightsabers. I've intentionally not described the lightsabers except for being silver and black cylinders about a foot long.
As I said in another reply, Harry designed his grips on Obi Wan's in ANH and/or Luke's in Return, so they're pretty standard. I'm partial to Qui Gon's but Episode 1 won't come out for another three years. In any case, I felt it a good idea to stay pretty much with the canon SW designs if the time.
The beam sabers look like good solid designs, and Tonks and Luna might like pink blades.
Thundarr's hilt is basically a standard cruciform sword with a flaming blade, Ferigno's looks to be a copy of a Gladius, and She-Ra's and He-Man's swords are just that. They have enhancements, and they're pretty, but they're still swords.
Seahawk's energy sword seems a bit unwieldy for day to day use. To me it looks more like a ranged weapon than a sword, but I've never seen the show. (I missed the eighties. I was either in the sandbox with the Marine Corps, or working on the flight decks of too many ships.)
How about Dobby as Darth Maul? I can just see him in black robes with those wicked-cool red and black tattoos. Maybe during a demonstration?
'Tales' was introduced in the US in '94, and by the time Harry started the training, in '96, they would have been available in Europe, but while it's a great idea, I don't want to clutter this up any further. (It's getting really hard to tie things together as it is!)
- I was just referring to Sea Hawk's two energy swords. The first got destroyed and he gained a much stronger one-the photon cutlass(both swords were based off swords for ships-scimitar or cutlass).
As to the Herclues movie, not Hercules. The villian of the movie had a sword that had rainbow flames as a blade and when Hercules killed him, the flames flickered out and left only the hilt behind IIRC.
As for Tales of the Old Republic, there are hilt designs in there as well. Some really weird designs, but they are there-one looks like a a twisting horn. However,I can understand trying to keep the clutter down.
As to the mistake and your thanks, you're welcome.
- Many thanks for another great chapter! I hated to see the strain between Dobby and Harry; and I'm glad that Winky was able to act as their mediator. In a way though the situation might strengthen their friendship. Winky did have a better grasp on expediency via Crouch, Senior's position in the DMLE. Though I was wondering..... if Harry had explained in detail that he would need a few drops of the blood to make sure Dumbles would eat the drops perhaps Dobby would have adjusted to the idea. Harry and Dobby might have been able to consider the situation as a shade of grey insted of dark magic. After all, Dobby didn't sense anything dark when Harry set the compulsions in the office. True the intent of the drops is to remove Dumbles' magic but it is not something on the order of Dumbles compulsions on other people. It's also true that Harry and Dobby are serving as leaders and both have changed because of that position, but as long as they have their friends and loved ones they should be alright. They also have to keep a clear understanding of what their purpose in this war and the aftermath should be. I'd say that Hermione and Winky will help with that matter! Hermione's reference to Nietzsche was well put; but unlike Dumbles Harry wants to use his power to truly help others. Dumbles only lip syncs to that idea! Besides, if Harry even thought of going dark Hermione and company would smack some sense into him. Dumbles really didn't know how lucky he was that Harry didn't turn dark! He had the potential to make both Dumbles and Voldy look like gnats! If he was backed in that endeavor by Hermione and the others......shakes head. It's a pity that Harry has to put Sybill in the tank, but if Dumbles compulsions kept driving her like that she might have died. Now that Fawkes and the Hat know where the other blood vials are perhaps Harry and/or Dobby can recover them at some point. I wouldn't put it past Dumbles to have have those vials set with a dead man's switch if something happened to him! He'd be perfectly happy if his victims suffered even after his death! Actually, is it possible that he did something to the Longbottoms? Is their blood also in that box? He might have blocked any worthwile care for them, but he's the type to add other precautions just to be both nasty and through! Is he planning on giving Hermione to Snape or Draco? I'd love to see what his reaction would be if he tried it and nothing happened! The tantrum would be epic! Of course, if such a thing had ever taken place Harry would have sliced and diced him shortly thereafter...... one can only hope that Dobby and the others would have helped him keep his temper and not go Sithly! Actually, couldn't Harry have provided other lightsaber designs from Yoda's information? I like Qui-Gon's lightsaber too, and I adore Maul's saber-staff! I know it's supposed to be a Sith weapon but I'm sure a few jedi must have used it over the years! Chuckle, my jedi in the online game uses one, but I swear she'll never go dark! I think Abe will have a lovely time in the castle helping to take down his brother and torture...... er tutor the students with the help of the Aurors and company! And who know, perhaps he and Rita will collaborate on a certain biography. Dumbledore Unmasked: The Hidden Dark Lord by Rita Skeeter and Aberforth Dumbledore. Pity they couldn't go on Oprah to promote the book...... Rita's articles were priceless, and I loved seeing the toad squashed a bit and used as a listening post by Rita! Will there be more toad torture? The training session with the visitors was fun, and I loved the duel between Harry, Mack, Tonks and Remus! As for the final scene with Snape and Voldy, I loved your use of quotes! Did Snape's robes swirl around him like Vader's cape? Was Voldy hooded, with Nagini draped beside him? As for Voldy quoting Julius Ceasar in reference to Dumbles I thought of a couple more " that one may smile, and smile and be a villain " , and this one " and thus I clothe my naked villany with odd old ends stolen out of holy writ and seem a saint, when most I play the devil". I thought that those two sounded like Dumbles all the way! This one I could see Dumbles using for Carolyn " let's kill all the lawyers." He'd had that thought in mind for quite a while! And for himself I could see him saying " Farewell? a long farewell to all my greatness" except that with Harry and companies plans it will be a short farewell to the nutty village idiot.......whistles. I'm looking forward to the next chapterand hope that whatever Voldy'd got planned can be contained! THanks again for this story! :)
Author's responseHeya Teresa! My god! This review is almost as long as the chapter. (Whoot!)
~"If Harry had explained in detail..."~
The problem is, he (I) made the decision on the spur of the moment. While this is very much in character for Harry, it was my screw up.
Winky is more used to the requirements of combat, given that Crouch Sr. was the head of the DMLE. She is also more familiar with the 'less dark' aspects of Dark magicks. Dobby was owned by sadistic terrorists who thought nothing of torturing people for their pleasure. He would naturally see any dark magicks as part of that.
~True the intent of the drops is to remove Dumbles' magic but it is not something on the order of Dumbles compulsions on other people.~
I see Harry's actions more as a surgeon removing a tumor. "This infection must be cleaned out entirely."
~It's also true that Harry and Dobby are serving as leaders and both have changed because of that position~
Any soldier will. Unfortunately it's endemic to the position.
~...but as long as they have their friends and loved ones they should be alright.~
Precisely, Harry told Yoda: "I have only two advantages. First, I don't seek power just to have it" and "My second advantage is my friends. I have people I can rely on…people I love, and who love me, to keep me from turning dark."
All three quotes were from Nietzsche but only two are well known.
~..unlike Dumbles Harry wants to use his power to truly help others. Dumbles only lip syncs to that idea!~
Very true. Even in canon, Dumbledore is a hypocrite. Most frequently his reason for anything he makes Harry do, is: "because I say so." Problem is, Harry has been so psycho-conditioned to follow orders, he obeys without thought...which is what Dumbledore was looking for in the first place.
Harry is not as calm within as people assume. He is not the polished leader he shows to the world. He is a teenager faced with a devastating choice, raised in adversity and forced into a war he had nothing to do with, by a manipulative old bastard who gets his jollies from playing chess with people's lives. He holds a lot of rage inside. That's Dumbledore's fault. Hermione is his...for want of a better word...'control rod'. She keeps him from going supercritical.
~Now that Fawkes and the Hat know where the other blood vials are perhaps Harry and/or Dobby can recover them at some point.~
I'm actually thinking of having Harry pluck the box out of Albie's pocket during their final confrontation. "By the way, you won't be needing these anymore."
~I wouldn't put it past Dumbles to have have those vials set with a dead man's switch if something happened to him!~
Fortunately, he's not that smart. In canon, Dumbledore has never had a back up plan for anything. He's always made his Goldbergian plans and assumed they'd go the way he wanted them to. He's like Dr. Evil.
"I'm going to place him in an easily escapable situation involving an overly elaborate and exotic death...I'm going to leave them alone and not actually witness them dying, I'm just gonna assume it all went to plan. What?"
(Probably the funniest lines in the movie!)
~if Harry even thought of going dark Hermione and company would smack some sense into him.~
Basically, yeah. Or smack something out of him.
~Dumbles really didn't know how lucky he was that Harry didn't turn dark! He had the potential to make both Dumbles and Voldy look like gnats!~
Absolutely! If Harry had decided to go dark, he'd be an exceptionally dangerous individual. Dumbley wouldn't be able to control him, and Voldy couldn't kill him.
(An idea I've been scribbling over the past few months. I have two other Jedi stories in the works, one a multi-year multi-chapter fic, where Harry runs away at four and over the next seven years, studies to be a Jedi Knight, either on his own, or under the tutelage of a master. In 'Jedi Potter' Harry is training his people for battle using the force as the medium, in 'A Boy Named Harry', he embraces the Jedi way, with all the discipline and control that implies. He's still a kid though and he still has some fun. It's a H/Hr fic, but there won't be any naughtiness (they're kids). And the second. also a multi-year fic, where he is ten, knows that Dumbledore is behind his imprisonment and doesn't like it one bit. Vernon pushes him too far one day and uses the force to telling effect. That one is a dark, and dangerous Harry, with no qualms about killing and who considers himself a Sith Lord. It's also a H/Hr/LL trio story with a bit more smuttage.)
~If he was backed in that endeavor by Hermione and the others......shakes head~
Again yeah. Dumbledore would be facing a charismatic, exceedingly powerful and politically well-connected dark lord, and most importantly, one who has senior lieutenants who are not morons. (That means no toadying and accurate intelligence whys he needs it.)
~It's a pity that Harry has to put Sybill in the tank, but if Dumbles compulsions kept driving her like that she might have died. ~
Quite honestly, I had decided to just tank Sybill early on, as she really brings nothing to the story, (or in canon) but she was in Harry's custody, so I had to ask myself: "What would canon Harry do?" His sense of fair play, would compel him to wake her. It sucks but there it is. On the other hand, he'd have to ensure she wasn't a threat to his troops, which was why I had him take her to Tunisia/Tatooine. He also had to determine how far the compulsions would push her. And you're right. An unprepared person trying to cross a class one desert like that, would have died in short order. If not for Harry's intervention, she'd have died the first time.
~Actually, is it possible that he did something to the Longbottoms?~
Actually, yes. I got the idea from Radaslab(I think) where a curse is cast on them and it's only broken by the caster releasing it,or the cater dying. In that story, when Neville kills Bellatrix, the curse falls apart. My idea is similar, in that they were tortured to a comatose state, but then to ensure they're no threat to his plans, Dumbledore does something like that. That's part of why I decided to have them moved from St. Mungo's and part of the reason I transferred Lavender to Medical. She's going to be playing a large part in their eventual recovery. Like Arabella, it won't be fast.
~Is their blood also in that box?~
I hadn't considered it, but I might use it.
~He might have blocked any worthwhile care for them, but he's the type to add other precautions just to be both nasty and through!~
Again, he never makes back-up plans. He's kind of predictable there.
Hermione's betrothal: He might try, but they're both Death Eaters. He has less control over Draco than Severus, but he also knows that Hermione would cut her own throat before kissing Snape. That leaves him in a quandary. He has a few people left to work with, but all the best ones are with Harry.
~I'd love to see what his reaction would be if he tried it and nothing happened! The tantrum would be epic!~
That's stating it mildly, however, I believe I may to have him 'forget' to use it. He's going to have a bunch more on his plate starting in late April, and so, assuming he can't find an immediate volunteer, it may slip his mind. (In other words, I haven't got that written.)
Yes, Yoda would have many designs in mind, but Harry made one basic, easily manufactured design because he needed sixty of the things in a few weeks.
While Maul's saberstaff is ultimate cool, he trained for years with a regular lightsaber before even considering building it. They don't have the time. Harry is pushing his troops at about nine times the regular speed to learn as much as they can before June.
Afterward, is a different story.
(Someone suggested Neville for the staff, but I was thinking.../Luna/.)
~I think Abe will have a lovely time in the castle helping to take down his brother and torture...... er tutor the students ~
Abe is going to be very busy. Although he won't be getting much screen time, he's going to work for his keep. He's also seeing a world he's not really prepared to understand. To him Lightsabers are something right out of fantasy. He's never seen them before, and so, he can't understand them. Ollivander might clue him in, but I think I'm going to have him meet and develop a friendship with Arabella to keep him busy.
~Dumbledore Unmasked: The Hidden Dark Lord by Rita Skeeter and Aberforth Dumbledore.~
I love it! That's a better title than mine! (with an introduction by Harry Potter)
Snape's robes always do that. (I think he has gas.)
I agree. Your quotes sound more like Dumbledore than Voldemort. I'm planning on using: "But what is truth. Is truth unchanging law? We both have truths. Are mine the same as yours?"
Let's hope Dumbledore never hears the 'Let's kill all the lawyers" he can make it happen! She's well protected though. Not only by Harry & Co., but by her own capabilities. She's as ruthless as the goblin. Dumbledore has come afoul of her in the past and is wary of dealing with her, and Voldy has lost more than a few of his best to her.
A warning: Next chapter is going to have a somewhat graphic section. Unfortunately it's necessary both to the plot, and to Voldemort's character.
Until then, thanks for the loverly review!
- This chapter was great. I think the fact that you took the criticism and actually pointed it out and fixed it in your authors note and then the start of the chapter was great. Not enough Authors are able to do that.
The idea of Hermione's lightsaber being sapphire and the hilt based of of Harry's was great. I also like Neville's it is fitting.
Tanking Sybil was something i thought was going to happen no matter the situation. She was far to big a risk and it is a fitting action to take.
My favorite aspect of this story is the way you have harry as an analytical and logic based person. He is taking the actions that are needed. It all falls back to doing what is Right and what is Easy. The difference can be subtle but it is there. The fact that he is making the hard choices when needed is great, you can always look back and analyze what you did at a later point.
I look forward to the next chapter.
Author's responseThank you, Celexes. When someone brings up a problem like that, I do try to fix it.
Hermione's Blade. I usually use Sapphire for Hermione, first given that it's her birthstone and second, because I think Sapphires are one of the two loveliest gemstones in nature. The reason I use emerald for Harry is two-fold. First, it's an instant identifier (his eyes), and second, His birthstone is ruby and that wouldn't be good.
Sybill: Basically, yeah. She'd keep on trying to escape until he made it or hurt herself. The risks of having an informant in your unit far outweighs the violation of her rights by securing her.
Thank you for that. Harry is still very much his canon personality but like you said, he's doing the right thing, where Dumbledore prattles on and on about redemption, and he's thinking things through first...mostly. He makes mistakes from time to time. Still, he has the finest mind of their age a trained Auror and two well trained combat veterans beside him, and has taken the precautions of hiring competent people to advise and assist him. That's something most authors don't do. In most fanon, (and in canon as well) he relies entirely too much on luck, and that's a bad habit to get into.
Having been a soldier, both as a SEAL and with the Marine Corps, I'm more than familiar with what can go wrong when the boss decides to rely on chance, so I'm writing this like an organized strike. Train yourself and your troops to the best of your ability, prepare, ensure your logistics are in order, deal with unexpected occurrences as best you can, train some more, and then, when the time is right, strike and strike hard. Since Harry is fighting a two-front war,(never a good idea) he is exceptionally busy.
I will post as soon as I can.
Until then, thank you.
Sign up to review this story.