Gerard's old defensive insanity comes into view. Vital chapter here, rape, violence, epic standoff?
Frank was carried into Shane's room after collapsing to the floor, a bottle of whiskey in hand. Shane had his camera ready and various pills lines up to be taken over the course of the long night. It was going to be the night of thier lives.
His clothes were discarded carelessly, limbs bound and body ready for violation. It was so delicious, the scent and sight of his victory, slowly writhing until he could writhe no more, only fear portrayed in those caramel eyes.
Shane bit his lip as he searched for something to restrain his little lost lamb and settled with some old electrics chord, it wasn't as if Frank could move much but he had to be careful. It wouldn't be the first time the lucky victim had got the strength to sit up and slap him across the face.
He shoved Frank into position, lying him down on the bed on his front and cutting away his top with a rough blade, peeling the material off, shredding it in places while the ecstacy pulsed through his veins. He whispered words shot with lust and promises of gratification, thier dark tones infecting Frank's ears, making his skin crawl in his half conciousness. Shane smiled, sliding his hand down between Frank's legs, shifting them apart. He thrust the jeans down, savouring this glorious moment. He was getting off on it all, the sounds and the sight.
At last, Frank was ready for what Shane classified as fun as his last strand of innocence was stripped off and tossed onto the floor. Frank started to whimper lightly, still somewhat knocked out. Shane didn;t bother trying to prepare Frank, seeing no point in such a thing. Shane held Frank's legs open until they sat limp for him and made his sweet way, not even bothering to sest to work at one thing at once. Shane was too hyped up for the event, had too many plans and was constantly pushing Frank around, from facing up and from having his head pressed into the matress between having drink top-ups until it seemed he was more concious of things.
GERARD: I spotted the buildings and knew where to go to reach my pray and catch the two out. I tore down those concrete stairs, leaping even into the corridor of small appartments, one belonging to my now number one enemy. Truly, I was to blame for doing such a deal but Shane is not someone who tells the truth whatsoever. I had been stupid enough to trust my whole life in him and let him fuck with my friends.
It wasn't right, he didn't make fair offers but it should've gone unsaid that no actaul fucking would be involved, only time together with Mikey and Frank. God I must've been so stoned, so careless to agree to such a thing.
Also, Frank wasn't going to come off lightly, ditching me like me like that to go to that whore's place. Sure it's my fault but only if he just let me control more, maybe that would've saved him.
I reached the familiar door and stood for a few moments, listening. I heard a few groans and sinister whispers. Whatever they were, they were not sound of Frank going to pick up his gloves. I dropped to my knees and searched for the loose floor tile under which Shane kept the spare key. Locating it was no easy task and while I was doing so, a few more sounds that were wrong on so many levels slithered out from under the door, seeping through the walls. It irritated my ears to just hear those faint noises that I knew stemmed form me in actaulity. Upon finding it at long last I took more deep breaths to try and control myself, all my emotions in a vsat melting pot made of mostly hate and hysteria.
I tried to quietly unlock the door and shut it behind me softly. I expected them to be in the liing area before me but again, the only things present were sounds, louder now. I took a few deep breaths, trying to conjure up innocent theories yet none came to me. Mutterings of words that sparked my curiosity and anger. "Drink up, you need a top up."
"That's the point silly, to give you a nice sensory knockout and a real one later." His short low pitched giggle pretty much launched me forward and I grabbed the bedroom door-handle. I should have savoured the moment my eyes would be innocent but innocence was nothing to do with anything that was going on.
Instead of proceeding with dignity and a sense of peace, I threw the damn door open and the scene was burned into my mind. It took a long time to take it in, but only miliseconds to process the situation before me. And only a fraction of that to decide Shane was the embodiment of 'his' killer. And that, that fuelled me with rage to spare.
Frank was on the bed naked, clothes scattered at the foot of the door. He had his hands bound behind him and looked at me with his head on it's side and his legs spread wide. His eyes seemed bleary and tired, thier pupils spinning around rapidly, his dizzy head nodded and lulled hopelessly. I could tell he recognised my face but he was powerless to do anything by now. His pretty mouth was stained along with his chest, what I could see of it.
Shane on the otherhand, was holding a bottle of what looked like whiskey and had clearly just been doing something to Frank that there was no way I'd want to see. The sheets were messed up and thrown about, mess of and various liquid spattered here and there. He got up slowly, pulling up his boxers and jeans and I leant on the door behind me, grinding my teeth and probably wearing them down to my own white powder. He licked his lips nad wiped sweat off his forehead, grinning bastard. I was calculating my every kick and punch at that moment.
"Ah, it's you!" Shane sounded happy but I saw his twitching of an emotion he tried not to show. "I wondered how far we would go until you figured out what we liked to do. Hm, how do you feel about it huh? Well actaully, we've done a lot already but you know, he can't get enough, your little whore there..."
"I feel." I walked over to him, squaring up, getting hold of his wrist. "Like ripping your head off." I whispered, cathcing hold of some strands of his long russet hair, pulling lightly. I had done that to him out of affection only days ago on my trip.
Shane smiled before flinging me off, sending me flying backwards onto the floor.
"Oh just get on the floor already so maybe I can chafe you both raw. I own your sweet asses." Shane smirked, those eyes getting ever darker.
I got up and lurched at his ankles, bringing him crasing down and I sat on his ribcage, hitting insanely at every part I could see, screaming and yelling incomprehensible words and insults. There was nothing that made me feel any less angry, any less outraged so I simply let loose.
"You're dead already to me, you fucking pervert!!"
I burst his bottom lip, blood spattering lightly on my fist, comforting warm, and I swiftly went for his eyes, aiming to gouge them out completely in my rage. His arms quickly got in the way and he violently shook until I was toppled off. "Bastard!!"
Shane landed on top of me, hands around my neck, choking me. I paniced, naturally. I hate anything to do with suffocation, it scares me completely shitless. I lay there flailing helplessly, Shane spitting words of acid in my face, telling me how I'd never leave his flat, how we was going to carry on the unspeakable with my corpse in the room. I started to see black dots appear my field of vision and I felt a surge of adrenaline rush through me, I wasn't going to go out by the hand of that sick freak. I kicked his side and wriggled his grip loose before I remembered just the jacket I was wearing.
A couple months ago, Ray had been mugged by some stupid kids and I remember slipping this pocket knife in my jacket in case it ever happened to me. I had only used it to threat a few troublesome kids that thought they were big but it soon felt all too good to hold it. It made me feel in control of a lot of things. It probably is a bad idea to go with a knife or without one where I live, either way, something bad could happen wheather you use on or not. It was still there and I flicked the switch to reveal the grinning blade in my pocket, concealing my superior smirk. As soon as I was free form his cruel grasp I pulled out the knife before slashing crazily in the air hoping to cut his vile lips right off.
Shane backed off and was about to reach into his closet for something, probably twice as sinister but I didn't give him the chance. His head hit the floor just as his wardrobe opened and a loud clatter emitted from some shiny object falling ot the floor. I held the blade to his throat, watching as his breaths got quicker and more shallow beneath the cold metal.
I had a million plans for him, many including certain death. I didn't want to deal wtih him any more and for some reason it was so temtping to break the law instead of turning him in. My favourite plan was to tie him up, blindfold him and take him for a long drive and just dump him far far away after fucking the shit out of him in every way. I grumbled to myself though, my main priortity for the moment was Frank and if the police even found I had done that we might not see each other for a while. A while being far too long. I didn't let on though that Shane was to live, I tried to make him think I was still going to kill the fucker.
I pressed harder on the his throat, still similing at my fantasies. And oh did I have many.
"Now Shane, what next?"
It seemed though he didn't want me alive either. His mouth twitched victoriously and he raised a hand to my chin. A revolver. I had pulled a knife on him and the crazy bastard had a revolver. I tried to keep my cool, perhaps we could negotiate but there was no way in hell either of us wanted peace at the moment. I stared into his wide eyes trying to solve the problem without words.
I heard the heart wrenching click as he flicked the safety pin back. We sat there, him on the ground, gun to my chin and me sitting on him, knife to the jugular. I didn't want to die, I wasn't going to loose, there was no way but I found I couldn't move whatsoever. I couldn't take the knife from his neck no matter how I thought of it. I was sure he was going to blow my brains out.
We may as well both die the way I saw it. I wanted to scream or run away but I was truly petrified in place in the deadly checkmate/stalemate situation. I closed my eyes, I never imagined minutes to be like this. Maybe involving a naked Frankie but not in this terrible circumstance. Not at the hands of someone else, certainly.
"Please." I whispered. My arm ached from staying so ridgedly and I was so tired with everything.
I expected a reply like,
"You're dying now, fucker." But instead Shane's hand only shuddered a little, his face petrified too. For the first and last time I saw something behind the facade.
An addict, maybe a victim to his sex-drive even. Backed into a corner and I knew this wasn't what he wanted things to turn out to be. Shane, deep down, didn't want this, surely. He wanted the sex but not this. He was scared of death as much as I had ever been. He was a kid too, like the ones he seemed to chase. Like all of us, he still had a bit of human in him that maybe he resented or treasured. But nothing human about Shane would stop me hating him, I still wanted him locked up or dead. But at least I caught a glimpse...
It was hard to tell though what he really was like, because his next action totally seemed to contradict my theory altogether. The barrel clicked 3 times and I closed my eyes tight, my body only allowing me to flinch. He was gonna take the shot. I shut my eyes tight, going through all the ones I loved and had ever loved as if someone might drop from the heavens to save me. Nobody came of course but I recieved a slight blessing in the form of a stab.
I screamed out in pain, Shane dropped the gun and had taken the liberty to stab my shoulder while I wasn't looking. The gun was away and this changed it all again. I felt it dig into my flesh with searing hot pain and felt twist it around as well, flet every fibre snap and get sawed through. He effortlessly pulled it out for another go and I knocked it out his hand. I should have fucking killed him in the first place. I grabbed the gun and pointed it to his head and held him there, my left arm bleeding ike hell, a deep red stain already bleeding through.
I pressed it into his forehead to make a deep mark on his skin. Remembering that I was the one going to have a future I played it like I was going to pull the trigger. I leaned into him, partly for my arm felt like it would stop working at any moment. "Turn around."
Shane blinked at me, or the loaded gun probably going through what I had only moments ago.
"Now!!" I yelled. I held the gun to him and cautiosly reached around me, using clothes lying all over the floor I tied his wrists. Shane was quiet and I almost considered taking the gun off him but knew better.
"Do you wanna live? Huh? Do you wanna live, little bastard?" I whispered, lips to the back of one of his over-pierced ears. Shane merely growled, no doubt planning escape. "Tell you what, I could take from you what you did from Frank. I could go all night, until I bled you dry Shane, tear you up so bad inside you would bleed to death around me, or I could call the cops, or maybe just shoot you someplace that'll let you die slow."
Still no reply, just a tiny whimper escaped Shane's lips and I smiled sincerely at the back of his head. "Take it that means you want to stay up all night with me, huh?" I grinned, pressing the gun into his spine where he could damn well feel it but at the same time taking heavy breaths on his neck.
I moaned in fake arousal, not even planning to do such a thing to him, simply thriving on his fear. I reahced around and picked up the same type of chord Frank was tied in and tied it around Shane's ankles while he shuddered, growling angrily. I moaned again, like a bitch as I tightened the chord so he was unable to move. "God, wouldn't you just love it? Ugh..."
I lightly squeezed myself and pressed the gun harder into his spine, loving the sound of his hissed pain. "I'm sure, with your stamina, you could ride me all night too, right? Hmmm?"
Shane finally snapped back an unco-ordinated reply, trying to twist his head back to face mine.
"Ah ah ah." I gouged the barrel in even more, surely leaving a mark on him by now, reminding him to stay still. I reached forward with my free hand, ignoring Shan'es attacking arms as I made a grope at his crotch, not even holding back. Shane was cursing away, flailing so I hit the gun against his back with a flick of my wrist and carried on for a few sconds where you could hear him start to sweat, despite his contsant 'macho' and tough surface.
"Now you stay here, I'll go look for condoms. Don't wanna catch your countless diseases now."
He stayed put while I searched the kitchen for some of his concoctions to use against him. I took a full bottle of vodka and any pills I could find along with enogh rohypnol for an elephant.
I forced it all down his throat and he went limp. I had no idea what exactly he'd had but it didn't matter. He lay there looking pretty lifeless from behind. Then, I couldn't help myslef. I withdrew the blade again and made Shane clutch it in his lifeless hand after what seemed like so long for him to go down. I plunged it down, badly goring him around the collarbone, blood welling up. I wasn't satisifed. He had tried to do something unspeakable to my Frank. Tried and succeded more like. He had done something to everyone's important someone. I pulled his hand up again and drew a line down his side, dragging it slowly, watching all the red pool out, in a state of half conciousness. It just felt like I was watching someone else perform the needless task.
He gouged the knife into his side, twisting with an odd sounding gush, the blood pourring out. Nothing would be enough to repay his awful deed. Carving slashed through his skin, lines of red and russet appearing as if skates had been drawn through, the only thing pretty about him were the criss-crossing lines.
I was aware, however, of the importance of cleaning up. I took a small vodka and dropped the knife inseide, letting all the blood wash away before pouring the liquid doen the sink, the diluted red quick to drain. I wiped it down with some of Shane's clothes too, making sure to keep from touching it with my bare hand. Then I placed it back in his hand.
I had pictured doing even worse to someone before, I knew how I was going to clean up even. Though it wasn't something I'd really want to do, but this time it was truly nessecary.
As for his blood on me, I didn't care. Clothes, easily disposed. Blood, easily washed out.
I phoned the police from his homephone "Fuck, he... Raped..." I gave them a name of a guy on that sick pinboard he kept, full of victims and possible friends of his. As soon as I had spoken the name I hung up, anxious to get out as soon as possible and scared of being found myself.
I knew the cops wouldn't exactly be there right away so I slipped some pants on Frankie and concentrated on bringing him home. There was no way I wanted either of us to get involved with the police and there was plenty of evidence in Shane's appartment to at least get him 5 years. It was hard enough hauling the equally lifeless Frankie away from the hellhole. It was hard to touch his skin, knowing it was now so filthy from Shane. Tears were welling up as soon as I had Frankie up, his state was just so low and disturbing to set eyes upon. God he was a wreck, Shane's seed around his lips and a little down the middle of chest. I wiped it off before I choked back some sick. How could anyone... To Frank as well...
I could hear sirens by time I reached my house. That's how long it took us to get back, enough for the freakin' cops to get off thier asses. Tiny flecks of red pooled in the snow at the door as I dug around for keys. He was just a dead weight to me but I used up my last strengh to get him up the stairs when I got home. Mom popped her head round the door and saw us and probably assumed we were drunk.
She frowned and mouthed something to me. I ignored it and before gently putting Frank in my bed, collapsed beside him. The wound still bled but I couldn't care les anymore. The only thing that mattered was that Frank was okay, frozen, most likely battered but he was still there and breathing heavily. At least I had his silent body, though in ways so different to Shane had only a little while ago.