Gerard and Frank make thier now muchly needed getaway
Gerard wouldn't let me go. He begged me that morning not to leave him, to stay in his room. I had no idea what to do, I really wanted him but obviously leaving out my parents would prove fatal next time I saw them. I wanted to go to that motel as previously planned but had nothing ready and I wasn't sure if we were up for that. It was 4am when we all got up, Mikey included. I was so greatful of what he did, to stay with me during the night. It felt like I was dying and even worse after his touch left my body. Human contanct just made me feel better. I honestly thought the world was ending, I wanted to cry all through the night but my body had a mind of its own. I was so scared despite the fact I could barely remember what struck such terror into me. Mikey went back to his room after Gerard told him to go back to bed and he turned to me, pleading with me.
"Please Gee, I'd love to spend forever with you but you know that can't happen, at least not today, not this time."
"No, you listen Frankie, I almost lost you! I almost got us both ... please, please. We can go somewhere away today. They have to understand that we are together. We can go, like I promised you we would."
He was shaking my hand, his eyes a fierce red like he was about to burst into tears at an moment. I knew I really had no choice but to go with him, his was the only face to bring me happiness in months, years. he had that spark in him I couldn't just ignore. Though that spark seemed much more dull than it had ever been, it didn't change who he was. Those eyes spoke to me like nobodies ever did.
"Okay, we'll do that. We'll have our own little Christmas together." I took his shaky hands and brought them to my lips in trying to steady them. Gerard's hands shook a lot of the time from now on but for many reasons I wish I knew.
"Thank you so much..." He whispered, pulling me in for a hug that seemed to vent all his worries and fears and made them vanish for just one amazing moment. The spark was back, untarnished by the sights of the previous night. I hated him to be sad. He didn't deserve any of the sadness he felt, me and Mikey both knew it.
And now he seemed to bear some of mine that I didn't even pick up on. I hated eveything at that point in my life, the world and so many people in it, and I dont even know why. All I knew was that it tried to tear me and Gerard apart in so many ways. He was all that could ever matter to me but I tried to ignore it in fear of feeling alone.
"I mean, I already know where I wanna go and all ~" He trailed off, waiting for my reaction. Gerard spoke sofly against my shoulder, his voice revertberating through me.
"Sounds great either way. A road trip!" I smiled and rubbed his back slowly. Did I really want to know what happened? Perhaps he could relax now and tell me when we came back.
"Yeah just a couple of days to settle back down." he explained further, sighing once more.
It sounded perfect. Just us two for a couple days. I agreed after only moments of consideration.
We got into my house through the back door and I used the spare key to get in. I stuffed an array of jeans, tops, scarves and various things along with shampoo etc. I coulnd't believe we were doing this. Before I wrote a short note explaining all I picked up my secret stash of cash and Gerard's presents. I stuffed everything into an ancient hiking backpack which had a sleeping bag attached to it anyways. I loved going camping and with Gerard would be something else. It brought me such a thrill too to know we were doing this so spontaneously.
I snuck into the bathroom as well, reaching inot the far corners of my own drawer, taking something for later, if my plans went well.
We dashed back to Gerard's and he filled two huge backpacks with a blur of items, most definately overpacking as I had. Gerard obviously knew what he wanted to take.He dived into various wardrobes and cupbaords around the house, just taking what he saw right. I ideified some roll rugs and throws and a bag of weird objects as a fraction of the overall haul Gerard amassed.
We went into Mikey's room to tell him what we'd be up to.
"Mikes." Gerard put his bags down and whispered into his sleeping brother's ear. He tossed and turned a couple times before awaking.
"Heya, look we're going camping for a few days and stuff, tell Mom and Dad it's all important and we need time alone. Okay?"
"Camping?! It's December Gerard..." Mikey sounded like he had woken right up after he heard Gerard's badly explained story. He runned his eyes, eyes still shut tight, probably tired out too.
"Yeah we have all we need and money for motels and stuff. We'll be seeing you soon baby." He bent over and gave Mkey something that resembled a kiss dangerously close to the lips. Well, it was a kiss but brother-to-brother just didn't seem right. It was so casual too but it didn't seem right for thier ages. Even stranger, Mikey just took it.
"Whaaaat? Nooo, stay Gee. You can't." He reached around wildly to catch Gerard's still close face and brought him down even closer. "Don't leave me, I love ya too you know." his voice shifted from a disgruntled mumble to a sad whine and his brow furrowed deeper.
"I know, I know. We'll be back so soon. I promise." Gerard freed his other hand from mine and held Mikey's head as he went for another awkward kiss, this one longer than I expected.
Mikey moaned unhappily and his eyes opened a crack.
"I'll miss you so bad..."
"Don't worry hun, we're under the same sky, aren't we? Bye!"
The same sky. A romantic image but could it ever be enough if we were separated? Sure, it would bring some peace to myself but what if the ultimate void opened between us.... I would never even want to recover from grief of any sort of loss of him.
I shook off the pessimistic though and concentrated on the adventure ahead.
We took some 'vital supplies' from the kitchen, just things like candy really and any money we could scratch together. In total we had about $170 which was definately over budget for us but it wasn't a bad idea in case we needed extra things.
The final piece of the puzzle was a tent if we were actaully gonna do this right. It was kept in a small dull oragne bad, weathered by rain and wind for possibly a couple of years. Gerard tossed it into the trunk of the car along with all out bags. My heart was thumping away, I was so excited that I myself felt like I was shaking.
"You ready?" Gee saked, sliding into the drivers seat.
"Yep!" I almost squeeked but managed to keep that much of my excitement hidden away. This was really the way to lighten the mood, despite the fact I still had a sucky headache buried away and eating away at my patience.
Gerard didn't reply and started the old engine, its tyres burning and blackening the packed- in snow. I could see he was happy again, that spark almost back up to its orginial luminoscity. I took in what outfit he had hurriedly thrown on. It actually looked pretty good, a long jacket and leathergloves, with the knuckles cut out and fingers cut off. He'd suit bondage saying that, I was pretty sure he was into that sorta stuff. Not that I wasn't against it but... You know, being constantly dominated doesn't suit me I don't think.
His hair was all mussed up and I tried to smooth it down a little. Gerard reched behind him and took my hand and held it over the gearstick. I was a little concerned at how he hardly used it but the death of the old Subaru wouldn't be too tragic.
We were on the main road in minutes at the speed Gerard cruised at. I felt totally safe with him driving, no matter how fast though. his hand was really nice and warm all the way, in contrast to the ice and sleet outside. After what seemed like an hours worth of driving, it seemed we had arrived.