His family were out including Mikey who was at Frank's and had no idea I was here. If they knew Gerard and I were hanging out they would just invite themselves along.
"You know," Gerard began. "That sex was definitely better than the first sex."
"Well, its because were more comfortable around each other." I replied. I kissed his neck.
"You think so?" Gerard asked.
"Yeah. I mean years from now, if we're still friends after this little fling, if I walked in on you naked by accident, I'll be able to shrug it off because I've seen it all before." I said.
"Ah I get it now." Gerard said. "Are we just having a fling?"
"Sorry, that was pretty blunt." Gerard nodded.
"Don't worry, I'm glad you said it. I don't really want the whole relationship thing right now. Just sex and companionship will do." He said.
"I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but I think I'm just gonna use you to fill the void". I said. "I have this hole in my life and both times we've been together, I feel like its filled up a little."
"Because of you having like no family?"
"Exactly. Sorry, its pretty bitchy."
"No don't worry about it. I'm getting sex. I don't care." I laughed and kissed his neck again. "What happens when we realise we want something more?"
"We'll worry about that when it comes to it." I said. "Right now." I straddled him. "I want to..."
Lunch times were becoming my favourite part of the day. I'd sit next to Gerard and that void would close up a bit and he'd enjoy the company. I was sure Frank suspected something. I kept twitching and looking at the clock whenever it was close to lunch and I always sat by him at lunch. And I'm sure they've noticed that Gerard and I are always busy at the same time.
It had been a month since Gerard and I started our little affair and so far it had been brilliant. From a woman's point of view and an orphan's.
"What is everybody up to tonight?" It was Friday lunch time, late April. The days were getting warmer which I loved.
"I'm working late again." Gerard said, making eyes at me. I smiled and nodded subtly.
"You're always working nowadays." Mikey said. What's going on at that place?"
"Well, I've saving. That apartment, isn't going to be cheap and I still don't know if I've been guaranteed a job." Gerard replied.
"That's true, apartments in New York are pretty expensive when you don't have room mate." Ray said. "Are you gonna get a room mate when you move in?"
"Yeah, I'm thinking about it." Gerard said.
"So how about the rest of us go see a movie?" Frank asked.
"Oh, I can't, I'm spending some time with Aunt Jess." I lied. I hated lying to him. He looked so heartbroken.
"Alright, so we'll have a boys night!" Ray said, giving Mikey a high five. "It'll be fun! Action movie, with lots of gunfights and car chases!"
"Fine sounds great." Frank said apathetically.
"You don't sound too excited, what's wrong?" Mikey asked.
"I just wanted all of us to spend some time together, Gerard is always working now and Nancy is being all girly with her Aunt." Crap. Guilt is building up so much right now.
"How about Saturday we have a movie night?" I suggested. "Gerard doesn't work a Saturday and Aunt Jess is going out with a couple of her girlfriends. Each of us bring a movie and we'll watch all five!"
"That sounds like fun!" Gerard said. I saw Frank grin like an idiot. I gave him a big smile back.
"Right, so everyone turn up at six, so we can get started early, I'll provide the popcorn and we'll have a nice night in!" I said. The bell rang for afternoon classes. Everyone stood up, Frank helped me up and gave me a big hug.
"What was that for?" I asked him.
"You restored my faith in the group. I've been feeling like we're drifting apart." Frank replied, quietly so that no one else could hear, although I was sure they could.
We walked to class with Mikey and Frank by side with Gerard watching me as we went.
"I feel bad." I said as I lay in Gerard's arms that Friday night. We were still panting a bit from this evening's love making but I was getting my breath back slowly.
"How so?" He asked.
"Frank is so emotional when it comes to his friends. What do you think he'll say when he finds out we've been lying to him?" I asked.
"He doesnt need to find out." I sat up and pulled the sheet up to cover my breasts.
"I think we should tell him."
"Why?" Gerard sat up but instead of just sitting he got out of the bed and found his boxers. He pulled them on and put his hands on his hips. He kind of reminded me of Aunt Jess when he did that.
"Because he's my best friend and I hate lying to him!" I said. "Pass me my clothes please." Gerard found my underwear and passed them over. I put them on then got out of bed to find my skirt and t-shirt. "I'm going home." I announced. "I knew something was going to go horribly wrong."
"What's gone wrong?!" Gerard asked, sounding annoyed.
"Well, we can't agree on whether to tell our best friend about this relationship or fling or whatever this thing is!" I was yelling. I didnt need to be yelling but I was feeling horrible with guilt and I needed to take it out on someone.
"Fine whatever!" Gerard yelled back. Tears filled my eyes and I stormed passed him and stomped on each step as I went up stairs and I slammed the door behind me and stormed out of the house.
It wasn't until I was halfway out the door, I realised I left my jacket. I didn't care, I was to annoyed to go back and get it.
It may have been April but it was still quite chilly at night. I hugged myself to keep some warmth and I kicked myself when I realised I was gonna have to walk past Frank's house. I just hoped he didn't look out of the window. Or he wasn't walking the dog like he was now.
"Nancy! What are you doing around these parts?" Frank asked as he was coming toward me. "Without a jacket."
"I thought you were going out with Ray and Mikey." I said.
"I was but I decided to catch up on homework, don't change the subject." Frank said. "I'm on to you."
"What are you talking about?" I asked.
"I know you and Gerard are together." He said. "What are you guys doing sneaking around for?"
I was actually shocked. I was hesitant to tell him the truth. I was considering lying again but I couldn't risk losing Frank too.
"Well, we won't be sneaking around anymore." I mumbled. "We weren't having a serious relationship, I just wanted some close companionship and he just wanted sex." I stopped to shiver for a minute. "We didn't want to tell anyone because we weren't sure how anyone would react. And anyway its not like we're in love or anything."
"Did you guys just break up?" He asked.
"Sort of. We had an argument, I started yelling, he started yelling. I got a bit emotional and stormed out." I replied.
"That time of the month huh?" Frank asked, in a joking sort of way.
"No! It is not that time-" Oh crap. It hadn't been that time of month in nearly two months. In exactly two months. "Oh no"
"What?" Frank asked. His dog, Todd was getting a bit restless. He wanted to walk.
"Oh god no I haven't had a period since February. I told him.
"Oh crap!" His eyes widened."We have to tell Gerard! He'll know what to do!" Frank exclaimed.
"No, he'll just start blaming himself and I might not even be, y'know, knocked up it might just be an irregular year. It can happen. I'll make a doctors appointment." My mind was going at a million miles per minute. Frank nodded. Tears filled my eyes. "Why were we so stupid it had to be the first time, March 1st. It was kind of like an impulse, we didn't think about a condom we were just thinking, well, I'm ready if you are!"
"Don't blame yourself." Frank put an arm around me. "You are freezing!" He took off his jacket and put his around my shoulders. "Come on, my mom's not home we'll get some coffee down your throat and we'll just talk."
"Ok" I sobbed. Then I giggled. "I always end up crying around you." Frank laughed.
"Come on Todd, you can get walked later." Frank said, pulling the lead. Todd made a grumpy sound and sulked behind us.
"I'm sorry Todd!" I exclaimed. Frank laughed and put an arm around my shoulders and we walked.