"Happy birthday, taichou." In which Matsumoto is sneaky, and Hitsugaya is very familiar with a river named Nile. Hitsugaya+Matsumoto.
Hitsugaya blinked, and tried to pick up his jaw which was, for some reason, hanging down towards the floor.
He cleared his throat, shaking his head from side to side to dislodge the mental images that had somehow gotten stuck in his mind. He blinked again, staring up at Matsumoto (who, unfortunately, towered over him because he was sitting down at his desk and doing work).
"So. Let me get this straight." He cleared his throat again. "You're offering to... uh... teach me about sex because you think that I need practice for my first time with Hinamori?"
Rangiku nodded, bouncing lightly on the balls of her feet as she grinned down to him. Hitsugaya tried not to stare at the other... bouncing /things/.
He also tried not to think too much about the fact that Matsumoto thought that he wanted to do that with Hinamori disturbed him far more than the actual offer itself.
"Why do you think I want to do..." he sputtered slightly, trying to get the word out of his suddenly stuck throat, "/that/ with /Hinamori/?! I don't even like her that way!"
Matsumoto bent down towards t\him, propping herself up on her elbows on his desk, watching him. Her breasts were almost literally hanging in front of his face, and he backed away almost involuntarily.
Those things were a /hazard/.
"Oh? Really, taichou?"
"Yes!" He forced the word out from gritted teeth.
Matsumoto nodded decisively, standing up straight again. Hitsugaya breathed a sigh of relief, which died half-way in his throat when she leaned down again.
"That's good, then. She won't get jealous about this."
"What do you...?"
It was then that Hitsugaya realized just how difficult it was to speak when you have someone else's (warm) lips pressed against your own.
Matsumoto, he realized rather belatedly, was kissing him. And, he thought, dazed, she smelled and tasted of apples, cinnamon and alcohol. He wasn't really surprised, considering Rangiku's habit of sprinkling cinnamon on apples and eating them with sake.
When her lips left his, Hitsugaya thought that the oxygen deprivation was certainly getting to his brain, because he couldn't be thinking about how nice Matsumoto's lips tasted, and how it was a disappointment that the kiss was so short.
He wasn't thinking about how nice the kiss was, how sweet the aftertaste was, especially when he had always expected something bitter. He /wasn't/.
Matsumoto had drawn back, and was watching him with a small smile that seemed to laugh at him silently. Toushirou thought that he really should reprimand her right now for that. He was her Captain, after all, and these things were called fraternization and disallowed for a reason. He should scold her, and he /would/. As soon as the world stop spinning, that is.
Rangiku laughed, reaching out to place a hand on his hair and ruffling it affectionately. He ducked instinctively at the touch, looking up towards her in a half-hearted glare that he knew was far from convincing.
She grinned, bending down yet again until the two of them were eye-level. Beeping him on the nose, she continued laughing and leaned forward.
Her mouth was far too close to his ear. He could hear her /breathe/.
"Happy birthday, taichou." A soft, almost sultry whisper.
Toushirou blinked, staring at her as she danced backwards with a mischievous grin on her lips. She winked at him and blew a kiss, still laughing under her breath as she skipped out of the office.
The sound of her laughter echoed in the office, fading in her wake.
He stared after her for a while, dazed and no little confused. He grabbed for the calendar he always placed in the right drawer, second from the top.
He looked at the date, and then burst in laughter.
Well, what do you know, it was his birthday... and his Vice-Captain had realized it before he did.
Hitsugaya smiled to himself, standing up and walking away from his work desk and the piles of paperwork waiting to be sorted and filed and filled out. He figured that he deserved a break.
It was his birthday, after all, and he had a gift to thank Matsumoto for.