Vicki's morning is abruptly destroyed by the worse news possible.
A deep silence, deafening, that pushed against her ears and dragged her down, to the bottom, ear-splitting whistle of pure pain, it pressed against her throat and eyes, ears hissing sweet words of death, it was so easy, it was so easy to let go, slip away, disappear, join him, even if she knew it was impossible. No. No. The emptiness was too much. The emptiness inside of her, something had broken, something had disappeared inside, had gone away with him, even if her brain was still searching for a logical connection, her neurons were splashing in a pool of disbelief, he had kissed her, he had kissed her that morning, he tasted of black coffee, no milk, three sugars, the occasional cookie.
Energy left her, empty all of a sudden. Her knees buckled, somebody grabbed her arm, just in time, but even if she had fallen she didn’t care because he would’ve never come back, he would’ve never walked through that door again, she would’ve never seen him again, his laughter would’ve never echoed through the rooms again, that laugh, that beautiful laugh.
Somebody squeezed her hand, gave her a glass of water but she couldn’t swallow anything, the emptiness was too much, the pain too, everything disappeared, everything drowned, even thoughts, even words, even emotions.
Was she crying? Maybe, she didn’t care. She had detached herself, shut the blinds, curled up in her pain, she just wanted to be left alone, she just wanted to be left alone.
Alone, not moving, it was all to much for her, it was all to much. She let herself fall on the couch, every sound was covered by the one whistle that exploded inside her skull. His name escaped from her lips, scream or whisper she didn’t care, she had almost hoped to see him appear in front of her, a smile on his lips, pretty, beautiful; but her brain kept on screaming at her, she was a stupid little baby, he was gone, he was gone. She screamed his name once more, she heard it shatter against the windows and walls, two voices whispering, Shannon and Jare, and then they both hugged her, they held her tight, pathetic attempt to fill in the void, to fill in the silence.
A motorcycle accident, a stupid red light he had ignored for reasons only known to himself, maybe he was distracted, he would often get distracted, an ignored red light and their world had been destroyed, it had shattered in a million little pieces, she wasn’t anything anymore, she was nothing but pain.