sorry if its short :)
i couldnt let Mikey see how much it hurt, he didnt want this? did he mean he didnt want me? i left the room about to cry how could this night start so perfect and end like this?! i locked myself in the bathroom, i wanted my brother but he wasnt here. "Jasey i didnt mean it like that!, please come out let me explain" Mikey shouted through the door, "whats to explain Mikey? you dont want me its fine i get it noone does!" the words came out of my mouth before i could think slammimg my head in my hands i knew i was being over dramatic "you know i want you, i need you" he sounded sincere but i sat silently in the bath i had curled myself up in a ball and was sobbing silently. "this isnt how i want our first time to be Jay, come out please!" i continued to ignore him but each word was like another kick in the teeth "fine im going downstairs to enjoy the rest of my night with the others" he shouted putting loads of expression on 'the others' i knew that he meant Ellies friend, i was over come with jealousy and anger but continued to sit in the bath until it went quiet outside the door. i got up quietly and stumbled to the door i opened it a little crack, then a little more and stepped into the hall way. "gotcha!" Mikey said grabbing me, he had tricked me! "Mikey!, no!" i squeeled as he tickled me. "please dont cry" he whispered wiping my face, i looked down at my feet. "if its what you want Jasey we can always try and if it gets too much we dont have to do it" he suggested. i considered it and i looked at his angel face and i convinced myself i was ready. "not tonight but i want to and soon" i mumbled and attempted a pathetic smile.
it was saturday and today was the day me and Mikey planned our 'romantic' night in, his mom was going out and he forced Gerard to go to Ellies so we had his house to ourselves. i had to admit i was nervous i had three showers in two hours and drank at least three litres of coffee, i had done my makeup multiple times and changed my belly button bar twice deciding between a dangly gem or my plain silver one. i wore some girly lingerie my mom had given me for christmas one year, why i will never know guess she thought id need it. she hadnt rang all week so either business was up or she owed money and couldnt find time between clients and Richie. i told Bob id be at Mikeys all night and he guessed what we had plannned "so this is kind of gonna be your first time?" he asked, i nodded "you nervous?" he continued to quiz, i nodded again. "so like do you know what do?, have you got pro-, contra-.... just please tell me you'll use a condom?!" he was cringing but asked all the questions my brother wouldve probably said, i nodded to each one. "good, thats a weight off my shoulders.... have fun okay!" he sighed, "i'll try" i said hugging him. finally Mikey came to pick me up at 6:30 and i grabbed my AC/DC back pack with my pyjamas and clothes for tomorrow in as Bob gave Mikey the 'mess with her and i'll kill you" speech.
when we got to Mikeys he was sweet and sat with me on the sofa. eventually he put a hand on my knee and i put a hand on his arm, i let my fingers run up to his kneck and i kissed him. "shall we go to your room?" i asked kissing him and biting my lip. "yeah" he replied, i was expecting to hold his hand and walk to his room but instead he scooped me up and carried me. we entered his room and Mikey lay me down on his bed and took off his shirt, i ran my finger down his chest and his stomach bringing it down to the top of his trousers. i lifted my arms and Mikey pulled my shirt off, i tugged on his jeans and saw his bulge i wanted him so bad, i pulled down his boxers and i saw his member. "wait here i'll be right back" he said leaving the room so i quickly removed my own jeans and stood cross legged waiting for my Mikey to return and so he did turning out the light. "ready?" he whispered and i felt him hold my face in his hands, "more than ever" i said quietly and he shooshed me and he pushed me back onto the bed. we kissed but the innocence became more and i felt Mikeys hand lower and remove my underwear. i felt Mikeys hand underneath my body and he lifted my head to reach his and he kissed my mouth as our hips grinded and i let out a little moan. i felt embarrassed but i could feel Mikeys fast breathing and remembered it was him my angel and this meant something, i wrapped my legs around Mikey as i prepared for him to enter. "Jasey!" he breathed his head buried into my neck as he thrusted, i couldnt help it i moaned and matched his movements. i was making love with Mikey and my heart was singing.