Vi lets it hang out, like dirty laundry.
I sigh as Party takes my tank off and starts nibbling on my chest, making me groan.
I was having it, right now, with Party Poison.
Party takes off his shirt and throws it over my head, attacking my lips with kisses and shoving his tongue inside my mouth, where our tongues tango with each other while Party’s trying to get my pants off. I moan as he moved down my neck, playfully biting me and kissing me softly.
God, if I die right now, just know I’m already in heaven.
Party gets his pants off and I reach for his hardened member, taking the full eight inches in my mouth, having to deep throat. He starts to moan as I move my head, licking his member and playing with his balls in my left hand. I felt him harden up within five minutes, and I took him out of my throat. “You sure?” I ask, slurring my words together, stroking his member, still looking down.
“As long as I get you afterwards,” Party says in a deep, sultry voice that I know isn’t his. I looked up at his face, and it wasn’t Party anymore. It had morphed into Tim, and suddenly he shoved himself into me, causing me to cry out in pain. I wasn’t all that ready this time, and the rate Tim was going he was going to hurt me before he really enjoyed himself. I knew what happened if he didn’t get his fun before he hurt me. I would get a beating. I tried to hold in my tears as he kept attacking me, his harsh mouth covering mine, his tongue forcing its way down my throat, making me gag. He grabbed my throat after I gagged and smiled a sickly evil grin. “What? Do you not like it when I play rough? Tell me to stop and I will,” he said, squeezing my throat making it hard to breathe. I tried to call out to him to stop, but it was so hard to breathe. I took one last shallow breathe before I was falling.
I was falling away, away from Tim and the rest of the world, into black nothingness.
I felt something shaking me as I fell into the abyss, and I jolted awake, seeing Party shaking my shoulders and trying to quiet me. I heard something that was very shrill and very loud, and I faintly noticed I was screaming. I closed my mouth and looked into Party’s eyes, making sure they were actually his and not somebody else’s. I sat up and looked around, taking in the truck and the desert outside of me, dark, but light enough to see. I checked the analog clock on the army truck’s dashboard, and it was 5:03. I’m guessing AM.
I looked back at Party, and he still looked worried. I swallowed, and smiled weakly. “That was me, wasn’t it?”
Party nodded, still wide-eyed. I sighed, knowing for sure I was caught. Tim used to always want sex, even when I was tired. He even raped me from time to time because he wanted to jerk off without using his hand. I couldn’t stop him. I knew that at least just the sex in the rape was better than the beating I would get before the sex if I tried to stop him. I couldn’t leave him though. I had Stockholm Syndrome, you could say.
“What are you thinking about?” Party asked, putting his right index and middle fingers below my chin and pushing me slightly to look at him in the eye.
I looked away. I couldn’t look at him right now. Not with the nightmare I just had. Party let go of my face and sighed, cranking my truck up and driving towards my tree. I still couldn’t bring myself to look at him, so I stared out the window, my eyes covered with my Bans even though it was still pretty dark outside.
I finally grew the balls to tell Party after fifteen minutes. The sun was nearly up, and I had to shield my eyes as I looked in his direction. “Party?” I tested, making sure he wasn’t deep in thought.
“Hmm?” Party sounded, looking towards me.
I sighed. “I had a nightmare.”
Party’s eyes, even though now covered up with his spaceman goggles, frowned. “About what?”
I bit my lip and took a deep breath. “You and Tim.”
Party pulled the truck over and looked at me. “What happened in this nightmare?” he asked, running his hand through his red hair, which was looking redder than ever in the sunlight.
“You and I were… um… hugging, and um… Then I asked for a kiss and you said something, but it wasn’t you. You had morphed into Tim, and.. and… then I was falling…” I don’t know why, but I had begun to shake in a silent cry. Party shushed me as he pulled me into a warm and comforting hug.
“Okay, so what I’m gathering is that you and I had begun to have sex and then I turned into Tim and he raped you as you fell?” I sobbed once, wondering why I was such a blubbering idiot, but I did it for the sake that Party knew he had hit the nightmare dead on, as if he had opened my mind book and read straight from the latest entry. He nodded and pushed his head into my hair, which could use another dye right about now to blast it into purple again. My natural color, a red rust, was poking out at everyone who looked, so it seemed as I just dyed the tips of my hair. I sobbed again, thinking about Tim and all the times he had raped me. I started a full out cry when I realized I had lost count.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay now. You don’t have to worry about that son of a bitch. You’re here and he’s probably in Battery City, eating BL/ind pills for breakfast,” Party said, rubbing my back, his head still on top of mine, gently laying there. I chuckled-sobbed at Party’s joke and he brought me tighter in the hug. I smelled Party’s scent; coffee, cigarettes, and dust. Two surprises in one: he doesn’t smell like sweat and he smells really comfortingly, almost like Shot Fire.
We sat there for ten minutes, him hugging me, and I trying to gather myself together. In the end I just gave up and wondered why I was such an emotional train wreck around Party. Maybe because he was Gerard? I closed my eyes at the thought, shutting them tight. That’s not it. I never opened up to him before, and he was still Gerard.
I sighed, kicking myself for having to make this end, but I took Party’s arms off of me. He didn’t look hurt or anything, he just looked… Surprised. Like he expected me to stay there for even longer. Instincts were telling me something though, and I grabbed for my gun and turned around out of my window. But of course it’s fuckin’ Korse, the dildo who doesn’t know when to stop past when to stop... Just like Tim . I shake my head, turn back in the truck and tell Party to book it.
Party turns the rearview mirror towards him, and sees the Dracs and Korse’s car fast approaching. “Shit!” he says, and slams the ignition so hard I felt my ears pop. Good thing I put gas in my truck last night, or we would be dead meat.
I lean out of my window and start shooting the Dracs on their white motorcycles. Boy, how many Dracs I would kill to have one of those… I shoot again, hitting Korse’s car hood and getting a chorus of blasts whiz by me in response. I turn back in the truck again, asking Party a serious question: “You ever use NOS before?” He looks over at me and smiled devilishly. I know by that grin that not only does he know what I’m talking about, but he knows what I’m implying. “You just hit the horn and watch us fly home,” I say, smiling at my choice of words. Reminds me of My Chemical Romance’s “Headfirst For Halos.”
“Hang on,” Party yells, and hits the horn. Instead of the horn sounding, like any other normal truck, I’ve rigged mine so when you hit the horn, the NOS is activated and we have about a minute of jet plane speeds. My lungs are literally screaming for air after thirty seconds, and I make the dumb choice of breathing. Not only did all kinds of dust fly into my lungs, but the burning smell of tires and sand went into my lungs also, making my need to cough but not able to. Damn, never thought I’d go this fast with NOS…
I look over at Party, who’s smiling like in the “Dukes of Hazard” movie. Clearly he’s never been this fast before either.
The NOS tank finally empties, and the Dracs and Korse’s car is nowhere to be seen. I cough violently, Party looking at me sideways. I hug him while he’s driving and I get a smile in return looking down upon me, because I’m hugging his waist. I decide to lay my head on his lap again, not drunk or sexual this time, but just to feel him breathe. Party stiffens a little, but relaxes when he finally gets what I’m doing.
I begin to talk to the steering wheel for awhile. I asked it questions you would ask scholars, and the sad thing is I actually got answers. However, not from the steering wheel. From Party. I think I fell asleep in his lap, but I couldn’t tell, because he didn’t bother to move me. I think he enjoyed me there, just laying.
We got to the tree fifteen minutes after the NOS incident, where my love was parked outside and the guys were nowhere to be seen. I got out of the truck at the same time as Party, and we walked into each other. “Oh, sorry,” he said, looking like he blew something.
I shook my head. “No need.”
When Party and I walked in, he was bombarded by Fun Ghoul jumping on his back and giving him a hug. I was greeted by a series of looks, Kobra Kid’s the strangest. He looked excited and anxious. I walked over to him and punched him in the arm playfully, but still causing pain.
“Ow, what? I’m just excited that something happened between you two, whatever it was,” Kobra Kid said, but I knew he still knew other stuff, because he was still smiling.
I punched him again. “What did Party tell you and when?” I asked, all seriousness marking my tone.
Kobra takes one step back and put his hands up. “Whoa, there, girlie. If you calm down, I’ll tell you.” I was afraid of what Party told Kobra Kid, and knowing when could help me at least figure out what he told Kobra. I calmed down, but just a little. The rest I had to fake in order for Kobra to tell me. “Good. Now was that so hard?” I stared Kobra Kid down. “Okay, okay, which do you want to hear first: what or when?”
“When,” I said on instinct. I began to bit my lip, not dreading the answer, but of what might follow.
“The when was today, sometime when you were asleep. I think it was around 6-ish?” Kobra ended his statement with a question mark sound, which made me wonder what time I must have fallen asleep. “What he told me was everything since he first saw you again, sleeping on the side of the road.”
I groaned, thinking of everything Party told Kobra. The drunk incident I don’t mind, but the nightmare and the BL/ind pills parts I do mind. “Did he tell you about this morning and yesterday with the BL/ind meds?”
Kobra nodded slowly. “I didn’t kno--“
“No, I don’t need your sympathy,” I said, feeling some of my old self and the old anger coming back. “Just… Just don’t tell anyone, okay?” I asked Kobra, who nodded.
“If it’s a secret, it’s safe with me. Now an electronic device, such as a toaster, on the other hand…” and Kobra went on talking about how he’s dangerous with anything that plugs into a wall or takes batteries, with the guys joining in until we all had one of my beers in hand, talking about stuff we missed from pre-Killjoy days.
“I miss slippers,” Blondie said, frowning and taking a sip of his beer. “They turned me on…” The guys laughed at that.
“Well, I miss sushi,” Kobra says, getting a chorus of “Aw man, shut up about sushi,” from everybody, including me. I think Party threw one of my empty beer cans laying on the ground at him, hitting Kobra in the head with a thunk and laughing.
“I think I miss… I miss burning stuff when I cooked. I never cook now, at all,” Gigantor said, laughing a throaty laugh.
“Man, I don’t miss that,” Fun Ghoul said. “What I miss are movies. When was the last time you saw a movie?”
All the guys grunted, and I nodded. Movies, or cinematic adventures as I called them, were something all of us missed.
“I miss people grabbing my ass, as weird as that sounds,” Party says, making us all laugh and Fun Ghoul reply: “Well, you know I would do that for you Gee…”
Ghoul just called Party “Gee”… Weird but I see it. “I miss the arts, like writing and drawing. I used to all the time but then Tim…” I trail off, looking to the ground. Party and Kobra look at me with sympathetic eyes, but Ghoul, Blondie, and Gigantor all look at me strange. I felt the ghost of me begin to leave. Damn, this all happened because of Party’s arrival…
“You know, Gee can draw really well,” Ghoul says, ending in a bunch of yeah’s and Party shaking his head.
“Nah, I just… Not THAT great…” Party says has he scratches his neck. Aw, he’s feeling shy… Funny…
“Oh, c’mon GEE, I’m sure you can draw us something,” I said, using Party’s nickname.
Party glares at me and speaks. “Fine. But you have to draw something too, JEN.”
I stopped. How the fuck does he know my name, let alone what Tim used to call me for short? He’s doing this to hurt you, Vi, all to hurt you.
“Wait, wha?” Kobra said, and the others agreed. “What did you just call Violet?”
Party smirked. “I called her Jen, a short version of her real name, Jennifer, just like Gee is my short.”
I glared at Party. “Fine, but I WILL out draw you. Let’s do… People?” I ask, to which he nods once. I pull out my sketchpad and pencil from my pocket, the one with the “nonsense drawings.” Those “drawings” were from the abyss. I drew them so I could never forget, even if I didn’t remember.
Kobra timed us for a minute. “Annnd… GO!” he yelled, causing Party and I to jump but begin our work. I drew my mother, whose face I’ve long forgotten but I can still see the faint outline of her face. I just finished the hair and the nose when Kobra calls time. “Show us what you got!” Kobra says, energetically.
I show my drawing, of the outline of the mom I’ve forgotten. The guys nod, and look at Party’s. He drew me.