FicWad

Chapter Eight: Breaks And Separations.

"It is our deepest regret to inform you that as of this week, My Chemical Romance is taking a break for an undetermined period of time due to some personal problems with one member. We know many of you have bought tickets for The World Contamination Tour, and tickets should be refunded immediately. The tour will still happen, but at the moment it is unsure as to when. We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused. Thank you for your patience during this difficult time."

Frank sighed and posted the message on the official My Chemical Romance website, knowing that many people would not be very patient about this at all. He hated upsetting his fans, they all did. But what could they do? Gerard had reached a point where he wouldn't even leave his bed. And Frank sure as hell wasn't about to go apologize for being lied to. He watched as Mikey delivered food to Gerard's room. Gerard seemed to be bedridden. They weren't sure quite as to why, it was perhaps because they had taken away his only stash. They searched every nook and cranny of the house for more, but they hadn't found anymore drugs lying about. Frank figured he must be going through withdrawal. He almost felt guilty.

Mikey carried a tray of lunch down the hall, which he knew Gerard was never going to eat. He sighed before he opened Gee's door. Gerard was lying there, in the same position he had been since he last checked on him. His eyes looked spaced out and glazed over. It had been over 24 hours and Gerard hadn't left his room, or his bed. Mikey feared he had sunken into depression once again. Yes, he was still angry with him. But the sight of Gerard looking so defeated, whatever the cause, still broke his heart. They had tried to call Lindsay to ask if she would leave the tour for a while to come back home with Bandit. She had said no; that they were too busy. Mikey couldn’t help but feel angry at her over that. He put the tray silently on the nightstand. Making up his mind, he bent over Gerard and gave him a kiss on his forehead, running a hand through his long, now greasy red hair.

"I still love you, Gee.", he said softly.

Gerard said nothing. Mikey wondered if he even heard him. Deciding to leave it at that, Mikey left the room, closing the door behind him gently.

Once out the door, Mikey felt tears welling up in his eyes. What was happening to his brother? How long was he going to be like this? Oh god, what if he stays like this forever? While he knew that last one was a bit ridiculous, considering his past experiences with Gerard's depression spells, he still felt a panic slowly creep through his skin. He dashed to his and Frank's room and went to go calm himself. He tried to take a few deep breaths. Once he felt he could think clearly again. He took out his cell phone and debated. Fuck it, he needed to go out, or he would go crazy. He scrolled through his contacts and called James.

~

Later that night, Mikey and James could be found at James' house. He hadn't told Gerard where he was going, as he didn't think it would elicit a positive response out of Gerard anyway. Mikey to this day could not understand Gerard's strange distaste for James. He was such great company whenever he WAS around.

They had just gotten back from dinner, and Mikey was a little buzzed from his margarita. James hadn't had any, as he was driving, but now that they were back at his place, he was already downing a sour whiskey eagerly. James decided it would be a good idea to pop in a movie. They chose Rob Zombie's Halloween and sat on the floor in front of James' very large HD TV.

While they both sat watching the movie, sharing a bowl of microwave popcorn, they still chatted about other things. Both of them had seen the film many times over anyway. James had poured Mikey some sour whiskey for himself, and they both were pretty drunk halfway through the flick. Suddenly, there became a lull in the conversation. Mikey stared onto the screen as the one he identified as "that really annoying chick" yammered on to her mother. Suddenly, he felt James' hand gently grip his shoulder. His stomach did a little flip. He turned to look at James. James was looking directly at him. At this moment, both he and James took a good 30 seconds just admiring how attractive the other person was, with their features emphasized by the light of the television screen. Then, slowly, James leaned in and kissed Mikey.

Mikey returned the kiss, and James leaned into him further. Eventually, Mikey was lain down on the carpet floor, pinned by James who was exploring Mikey's mouth hungrily. Mikey felt James get hard on his leg, and he began growing erect himself.

"No!", Mikey snapped, and he gently pushed James away. James rolled off him.

"Whats wrong?" James asked.

Mikey buried his face in his hands. "I'm sorry. Its just --- things are really complicated right now.", he looked up to face James, "I just -- I just don't think this would be the right time for something like this.", he sighed, "Actually, I've been meaning to talk to you about something."

"Go on.", James encouraged gently, sitting up right.

"Our bands a mess. Gerard's obviously in a rut ----"

"He's a drug addict. Its what he does.", James interrupted.

"Well whatever he is," Mikey said with a hint of a slightly defensive tone, "He's still my brother. And I love him. And he needs help right now. But I don't know how long that will take. So, um, I've been thinking it might be best if you looked for other work right now...."

"Woah, woah , woah! Are you firing me?"

"Kinda yeah." Mikey grimaced but then tried to redeem the situation, "But you've been great! Its kinda one of those situations where its not you, its us?"

Mikey even winced at how cliché that sounded.

"I don't know what to say Mikey..." James was now avoiding Mikey's gaze.

"Well it’s not goodbye forever, I mean --- when things pick up again, I PROMISE you'll be the first one we'll call. And you and I can still be friends! And maybe after we get Gerard through this rough patch, he'll feel like being a little less rude, and you guys can be friends too!"

James almost smiled. Mikey's naivety was very cute.

"Of course Mikes."

"So, friends?" Mikey looked at him hopefully.

James eyed him.

You know, he could take him now.

It was nearly 5 AM, no one would come to save him.

James thought it over.

Nah, he'll just take the other one.

"Friends." James smiled and gave Mikey a friendly pat on the back.

~

The night came and went, and so did the morning after. Mikey had gone home and broke the news of what he did to Frank and Ray, both of whom took it surprisingly well. They all seemed to agree that it was for the best at the moment. Frank and Ray were going to go out to do some errands that day, and Mikey was to hang out with a couple of good friends in the area, now that he finally had the time. So Mikey decided to bring a few extra snacks to Gerard's room along with his lunch since they all would be gone for the day. Not that his eating had improved at all, but Mikey was still hopeful.

When he went over, he was pleased to see that Gerard at least was in a slightly different position than usual. He laid down the tray and braved an attempt.

"Hey, um, I'm going out with Andrew and Adam today. You wanna come?"

Gerard didn't even glance in his direction. Mikey sighed.

"Okay well, I thought you might like to know that I fired James last night. I thought it would be best since the band was on a break, while you get through….whatever this is."
Gerard's eyes grew rather large at that, but he still stayed silent. Mikey stayed and waited for a bit more of a response than that, but realized he wasn't getting one. Taking another deep sigh, Mikey turned to leave the room.

"Mikey."

Mikey whipped around, hardly daring to believe it. Sure enough, Gerard was facing him, looking directly at him.

"Yeah, Gerard?"

"I'm scared."

It came out barely a whisper, but Mikey still heard it. He frowned.

"Gee, you know I'll always be here for you. I'll love you no matter what you do. But I really hope this'll be a lesson to you. You brought this upon yourself."

Gerard didn’t say anything else after that. Mikey mentally kicked himself. Maybe that wasn't the best thing to say. But instead of trying to redeem it, Mikey found himself leaving the room without even a "bye". He just wanted to get out of the house again. God, he was such a coward.

So much for being there.

~

It was 7 pm and Mikey was about to be on his way home. He had spent a lovely day with his friends catching up, although things had gotten awkward when they asked about Gerard. He just told them he had been under the weather lately. He was getting in his car when he decided to give James a ring, see if he was doing anything. He could swing by now that he was already out and about. Not that he was avoiding going home, or anything like that. No answer. He called twice more. Both times it rang very shortly, like James had hung up on his call. That was weird.

He was about to call one more time until he noticed Frank was trying to get through. He answered.

"Hello?"

"Hello? Mikey?" came Frank's voice through the other line. Mikey was alarmed, Frank sounded like he was speaking through sobs.

"Yeah, Frank, what's wrong?"

"Gerard...Gerard's missing... we can't find Gerard!"

"Okay, calm down." Mikey tried to assure his hysterical sounding friend, although panic had begun to rise in him as well, "Maybe he just went out or something..."

"I really don't think so...", Frank said before starting to break into even louder sobs.

"Alright, alright, I'm heading over there right now..."

"...oh god Mikey, there's blood all over his sheets..."

Next chapter: Realization.