Gerard and Frank confess their feelings etc...
I was tense, and as I was, he kissed lightly and lovingly, enticing me. I couldn't resist him. I kissed back. I felt myself becoming a hot mess. He sucked on my bottom lip, making his way downwards, carefully licking my neck. I was overwhelmed. I'd never felt this way in my whole life. I felt alive without self-harming, a feeling I'd forgotten from these dark years.
"Gerard." I groaned with pleasure. He smiled smugly, glad he'd been able to make me do so. His fingers fumbled for the buttons on my shirt, undoing them. He soon got restless and had no time for buttons so he just pulled my shirt apart, the buttons left barely hanging on, but I didn't care. He was sucking at my chest now, his hand just below my stomach but not too far down, I could tell he was teasing me. I moaned his name again. He bit and sucked gently at my stomance, I stared wide-eyed and excited as he got further down. He climbed back up to face level, brushing my body in all ways possible on the way, to my ear.
"Say my name again." He mumbled.
"Just say it." Why did he want me to? Oh well, guess nothing could go wrong.
"Uh, okay. Gerard."
"No, no. Like you mean it." His breath tickled my ear.
"Gerard." I was getting into it.
"Once more, baby." My heart melted at the way he called me baby.
"Gera-" He cut me off as he pressed his lips roughly to mine. He clutched me closer, holding my neck, my fingers intwined in his messy hair. He slipped his tongue cautiously through my lips, incase I objected. When I didn't, it became more passionate. There was a certain hunger, desire... and if I didn't stop us now, we were going to go too far. I could tell now. I pulled away suddenly. I could faintly make out his eyes, which held sudden disappointment.
"What's wrong?" Our bodies frozen, intwined. Our legs were knotted in eachother's and out hands in eachother's hair. I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to stop myself.
"We're going to go too far, you know that too. I mean, not that I don't want to, it's just I've never done something like this before. I'm confused; I tried to kill myself tonight, Gerard." He nodded. We slowly untangled out hot mess of bodies, and I cuddled up next to him, kissing him lightly on the lips once, twice, three times before just lying my head on his chest like before.
"I love you."
What had I just said?
His body stiffened. I felt something wet fall on my head.
"Oh my god, what did I do? Don't cry. Please Gerard."
"No, it's not that. It's just no one's ever told me that before." His eyes were fixed on my 'Hope' tattoo. I told him to look at me a few times.
"Don't cry." I hugged him, letting him know I was always there for him. "I mean it. I love you." He cried into my neck and mumbled that he loved me too. I hoped I meant it. We fell asleep like that, in eachother's arms.
I woke up a few hours later and it took me a bit to realise I'd fallen asleep in Gerard's arms. I snuggled up closer to him and my pulse rose as our bare torsos were touching, my head on his chest. Though, I felt calm. I could hear and feel his heartbeat pounding. I buried my face in him and breathed in his amazing smell. I traced his stomach with my finger lightly, wondering what I should do. I shouldn't be with Gerard like this. Things were going to get awkward in the band, and it just wasn't normal. I wasn't gay, and never considered it before either. It wasn't men. It was just... Gerard. I loved him just because it was him. But I wanted to be with Gerard.
I sighed against his soft skin.
"You're beautiful." I said. I looked at his face when my eyes adjusted to the darkness, and I was surprised to see him awake. Tears were silently streaming down his face. I climbed up to his face and kissed his tears away. I hated seeing him cry.
"What's wrong?" I worried.
"I don't know what I'd do without you, Frank. I can't believe I nearly lost you. If I hadn't have called... I don't know what I would've done. You know how fragile I am, I'm not sure I'd be able to carry on when you're not there to save me. Please, never, ever leave me, Frank Iero." I felt a lump in my throat. I didn't get how anyone could care about me that much.
"Why do you care? I'm worthless." I choked quietly. He took my head inbetween his hands and pulled me on top of him, we both shuddered from the warmth and softness of our torsos touching. Our foreheads were pressed together and the only sound was our breathing.
"Frank Iero. You are beautiful. You're not worthless, never think that. You're fucking perfect to me." His hazel eyes held so much love and the pain of nearly letting me go as he caressed my cheek with his thumb lovingly. He stroked my lips once before kissing me slowly. His lips. Oh god, his lips. They were so soft. He made me feel at ease again, and we went back to sleep.
"I'll never leave you." I whispered as our lips parted.
"SHIT!" was the sound I woke up to. I grumbled, trying to keep Gerard close to me.
"No Frank! Look at the time." I did so. SHIT.
"Oh damn, we have three minutes until recording, don't we?" I said. Gerard shot me a sarcastic look. I laughed and we both jumped up. Gerard scrabbled around on the floor for his short.
"Aw, man!" The shirt wasn't in it's best condition.
"Just take one from my closet." I said, gesturing. He nodded and pulled a plain black t-shirt over his body.
"Your car or mine?"
"I don't mind, yours I guess, since you're going to have to take it anyway." I suggested. He nodded and we rushed out of the door. Gerard had The Black Keys in the CD player, and we raved the whole way there. I honestly did love him.
When we pulled up outside the studio, Gerard leaned over and kissed me on the cheek and shot me a brilliant smile before yanking the keys out of the ignition and we ran inside. When they let us through, we walked slower down the corridor.
"This is going to be so awkward, isn't it?" I sighed.
"Maybe. Just keep cool. To them, all it seems like is that I crashed at your place last night, as friends. Maybe it's not the best time to tell them just yet." He suggested. I nodded, and we went into the studio.
"You're here early!" Bob clapped sarcastically.
"Sorry, I slept at Frank's and we both overslept." I nodded in agreement. Damn, he was a lot better at covering it up than I. Mikey was watching Gerard intently. We set up for recording. Throughout the whole recording, whenever Gerard and I made eye contact we sent smiles at eachother, closely proceeded by both of us blushing. We put our souls into the album, editing it, then we got to listen to how it was going.
"Fuck yes!" Ray exclaimed as we listened. It did sound awesome. Gerard's voice did make me weak at the knee, I couldn't deny. He put all his soul into it, into the lyrics, with so much fucking meaning. I felt like he understood, and all at once, made him sound incredibly sexy.
"Wow." I said under my breath. My five bestfriends beamed back at me, knowing it was awesome also. I put my hand up for a high five to Gerard and he did, we held eachother's grasp maybe a little longer than needed.
When we finished listening, Gerard went out to use the toilet. Suddenly, Mikey dashed after him. Curious, I parked myself behind the wall, listening.
"Gerard, what the fuck is going on?" Mikey asked.
"What?" He said innocently.
"Well... just basically, what happened between you and Frank? I'm your brother, Gee, I can tell when something's happened. To put it blatantly, there was so much eye sex going on with you two today. What happened?" Gerard fell silent. I heard Mikey slam an arm on his shoulder.
"Don't worry, I suspected it for a long time. Being the bestest friends ever, but then when you saw the way you look at eachother. I really don't mind Gerard, if you're gay. But, sure, you being with Frank is weird for me, but I don't mind, as long as you love him. Cuz if it's just for fun, I wouldn't advise it, cause when it ends it could get really awkward." I heard Gerard sigh with relief. I held my breath.
"I don't think I'm gay. I don't know, it's just... Frank. Just because it's him," my stomach flipped. He felt like I did.
"It'd gone on for a long time, yeah. Sometimes I'd find myself looking at him and thinking about kissing him, then wondering why the fuck why. I'd get butterflies whenever he laughed, smiled or hugged me. To be honest, I was scared. I didn't want to like him like that, we're best friends, and I never in a million years thought he'd feel the same way. I'm pretty sure I love him. Sorry if it's weird for you, Mikey."