Categories > Anime/Manga > Bleach > To Purify My Soul
Chapter 19 Leading to Lost Hopes
0 ReviewsKurono gets a visit from her inner world and now understands the problem. Her and Grimmjow have a heart to heart but is the relationship going to keep? and i admit i used a number of love songs to...
Leading to Lost Hopes
I walked for what seemed like hours in random directions. Thinking to myself
Ok, so Aizen don't care if we die. So he sent Suki with her bloodlust after me. He let me get a fracción member to make me feel save. But in reality I was saver staying with Grimmjow, because he’s not so quick to follow Aizen. Grimmjow wouldn’t turn against me…would he? I don't know… Ryu is save at home. I have no idea where Arashi is… I don't think I care. I feel stupid calling Grimmjow jealous... he just felt like I was calling him weak; which in a way I was. By adding Taro to my list of current friends I built a wall between me and Grimmjow. Just like when he saw me Arashi… Grimmjow can be very jealous…and he has every right since technically I'm his…girlfriend
I came to a fork and took the left hallway
“I… am Grimmjow’s…girlfriend. I have to start acting like it!”
Who am I kidding? Grimmjow is like… Mr. Wonderful and I'm just what Yammy called me when I first laid eyes on Grimmjow…Trash. I'm pond scum…
I came to another fork and took another left.
Honestly though. I don't look down on Grimmjow… I see him as higher. He’s better at fighting. I might be older... I think... I have no idea. Grimmjow talks down to every one except me…Why is that? It’s because…because…
“I have no idea why!”
I suddenly found myself standing in front of Grimmjow’s room
Of all the accursed places I could be I find myself I wined up here…
I sat with my back to the wall facing Grimmjow’s room.
Am I really one of the good guys? They why am I a hollow? I don't want to be a hollow any more…I don't care about the power. I just want to be on the right side…
I stared at Grimmjow’s sleeping figure and soon found myself falling asleep to one repeated thought
I just want to be on the right side… I don't want to be a hollow any more…
---------------------------DREAM------------------------------------------
I woke up facing a stormy sky. I sat up to find myself in the middle of a street. I stood and spun around. The street looked like it went on for miles; only one way. The buildings lining the street all looked the same. I looked down to see myself in my arrancar outfit; my mask in place but my sword was missing. I started walking what I dubbed to be north. I walked for miles but the row of buildings never seemed to end. It was like I was walking on a treadmill. I finally stopped at what looked like the same place I started.
“What is going on here? Where am I?”
“You are in your inner world”
I turned to see a tall male figure in black robes. Large black feathered wings stuck off his back almost blending with his cloak. He had long black hair and a black scarf around his neck. My sword was stuck in his belt as if it belonged there. His eyes were a deep purple.
“Who…who are you?”
“You do not know me?”
“I don't think so”
“Search yourself…”
I looked back into my human memories but nothing hinted to the man’s identity
“Well you're not a hollow”
The man shook his head
“In time you shall know me by name, even though no one knows me better than you Kurono. In a way, I am you”
“I don't understand”
The clouds started darkening
“I am Tenshi Anokoku”
The man whispered the words almost inaudiable
“Say again? I didn’t catch that”
“I am Tenshi Anokoku”
I shook my head
“No… that’s… that’s not possible”
“How is it not? I am your sword”
“But I thought Hollow’s swords are their former selves?”
The man frowned
“They usually are. But you are not a normal hollow”
“Figures”
“You have chosen to go with the Soul Reapers…”
I stared at Tenshi until an echoed voice butted in
“No she hasn't! Stop feeding her lies old man!”
I looked behind me to see a figure in an arrancar outfit, only the colors were reverse. The figure was overly pale, almost whiter than Ulquiorra. On its head was a complete version of my mask. Its eyes were completely black giving it a haunting look. White hair stuck out in random directions from under the helmet.
“And who are you?”
“Isn’t it obvious? I'm your inner hollow. You threw me away. Split us in two so to say. It’s all your fault he’s even here!”
The figure pointed at the man then at me
“You wouldn’t even be here if it wasn't for that silly girl and her guilt trip! I ruled this world till you sorry saps showed up”
“Silence creature. She has no use for you now”
“I say we let her chose! You or me… Good or bad…. Weak or Power…”
“SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU!! Let me think”
The hollow was now standing beside the man staring at me. I pointed to the hollow
“So you're my inner hollow that I split from myself and you…” I moved my finger to the man “…You are my Zanpakutō, Tenshi Anokoku which also showed up when I split him from myself. Correct? And by spliting the hollow from myself I brought myself here, to my inner world to talk about whose side I'm on?”
Both nodded
“Kurono, you have to chose which one of us you want. Whose side are you on? You can no longer walk the fence”
I looked at Tenshi and nodded
“I understand”
I sat on the ground and stared at the street lines.
“Well if I stick with the hollow then I get power, the power to save my friends, the power that will able me to stay with Grimmjow…”
“Alright!! She chose me old man! Did you hear her? Get lost…”
The hollow started pumping its fist in the air
“Now hold on. The Hollow might take over me and I might kill my friends. If I go with Tenshi then maybe I can become a full Shinigami and I can save my friends…”
The hollow slumped
“But if I go good, I will never see Grimmjow again… only as my enemy”
Tenshi stepped forward and placed a hand on my shoulder.
“If he truly loves you then he will understand. And what is more important? His love for you or his safety? What about Ichigo’s safety? And Orihime, Ryu, Gintaro. What about them?”
I nodded.
“I know what I have to do.”
I stood and looked Tenshi in the eyes. He nodded
“I think I'm ready to go back. I know what I'm supposed to do”
He placed both his hands on my shoulders
“Just remember, whenever you're upset, it darkens here, and I might be the Angel of Darkness but I hate that darkness. Sometimes the sun doesn’t shine for days.”
I nodded
“I’ll remember that. Good bye Tenshi. You have given me hope once again”
He smiled and I suddenly felt my self falling
--------------------------End of Dream-----------------------------
I opened my eyes and immediately felt someone to my left. I looked over to see Grimmjow. His head was leaned against the wall and he was staring at the stone wall. I smiled
“Hey”
“Hey”
“I'm sorry.”
“I figured. It's the only reason you're back here”
“Yeah. I guess I got lonely”
“You looked lonely”
I stayed silent expecting him to say something else. I kept staring and spoke the first thought that came to my head
“How did I end up with you?”
Grimmjow looked at me
“Eh?”
“I mean, I don't deserve you. You're the kind of person that I see with some beautiful girl. Not some lame forgotten high school student.”
“Don't talk stupid…. I think that you're lovely. You're perfect just the way you are.”
The word surprised me. I didn’t know such words were in his vocabulary
“Really?”
“Yeah, but don't go tellin’ people I said that”
I smiled
“How are we ever gonna make it through this?”
Grimmjow shrugged. I leaned on his shoulder and he rested his head on mine. I sighed
“I've made too many wrong turns. I've fought threw blood and fire and bad decisions. Welcome to my silly life.”
“But that didn’t slow you down, did it?”
“Nope, I'm still around.”
Grimmjow chuckled
“I have to wonder how I ended up with someone… like you. I don't deserve any one. I'm worthless compared to you. You're the perfect one. I'm nothing.”
“You are not nothin’. You are perfect to me”
“Nah. I'm too… evil”
“Hey, I've chased down all my demons; I wanna see you do the same”
“Ok”
Grimmjow pulled back and looked me in the eyes and I felt small
“Do I look ok?”
There it was, that girl in me that shows up every once in a while
“I can never ask you to change. Girl you're amazing, just the way you are. Don't ask stupid questions”
Grimmjow leaned closer and placed his hand on the back of my neck. The world seemed to stop as he placed his lips on mine. Then the small romantic kiss seemed to be pumped full of steroids. Grimmjow pulled me into his lap and I wrapped my arms around his neck. This seemed to be pure instinct because I had never done anything like that before. Not with Arashi, not with anyone. I eventually pulled back and rested my head on his chest so I could breathe. Grimmjow’s arms were around me and it felt right. We sat there for a while as I tried to catch my breath.
“We’ll always have each other. No matter what happens. You are my entity and that will never change”
I nodded against his chest. I felt myself falling into sleep
“Hey Grimmjow”
“What?”
“What will we do if… if Aizen is defeated?”
“We’ll go live with your brother I guess. I really have no idea.”
“So no plans?”
“Nope, we may only have tonight, but till the morning, you're mine”
“Mhmm”
I closed my eyes and Grimmjow shifted to where my head was in his lap.
“Good night Kurono and sweet dreams…”
He kissed the top of my head as I drifted off into a wonderful dream. But I just couldn't help but think all this was for a lost cause… a lost hope.