Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Full Of Holes.

"English,Motherfucker,Do You Speak It?!"

by unitedsuck007 9 Reviews

Not a story,just my mind in a drunken spiral of abyss.

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: R - Genres:  - Characters:  - Published: 2011/03/28 - Updated: 2011/03/28 - 835 words

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Hello my dearies,yup,you guessed it,just another "author's note"-I complain about my life,joke about Americans,suggest some song on Youtube,you guys are unbelievably nice about it.But this one is kinda different to the other ones...just somethin that happened to me today dans l'ecole-that means "school",right?

Lauren's Current Inspirations: Not doing my Irish homework,bitches,Mars Bar,"Smells Like Teen Spirit" by-oh,c'mon,you gotta know who that song is by.

Just sayin' here,before I start rambling to the point of no return,the infamous smut chapter of Full Of Holes will be up hopefully tomorrow,if not Wednesday.I have now changed the title to "Plug In Baby".Yes,that's right,after a Muse song.More over,a Muse song about sex.
Can I get a "hell yes!"?!
Lauren's warped perverted mind: HELL YES!
sigh It's just fuckin' sad when I do it.
On with the tale.....

So,a few years ago,I used to be friends with this chick.For ages we were the best of friends.Then we stopped when I was about thirteen-I'm seventeen now-just 'cuz she had changed massively.Let me paint the picture:she's a major poser,someone who quotes some Slipknot song when referring to their life;who pretends they know something when they clearly don't;and last of all,she idolized Avril Lavigne.
The new Avril Lavigne.As in,stupid hair and worse songs.
To add to that,she consistently put on this really strong-bad-American accent,which doesn't really fit in very well in some suburban,middle-to-lower class Irish city where people say "bye" as in "boy".
Anyway,this took place between me,one of my best friends Jennifer,and her,Hayley,in our music class today.Our teacher didn't bother showing up.
Lauren: Hey Jen.Hey Hayley.You guys know if we had any homework?
Jennifer:If we did,I certainly didn't do it,and if we didn't,thank the fucking Lord.
Hayley:You guys like my hair?I got it done on Friday.
Lauren:I like your layers.
To be honest,her layers made me want ditch her and go hang out with Eliza Cuts,but of course I'm such a lovely person I didn't.
Hayley:Oh,thanks!And see?Little pink streaks.Like Avril.
Just "Avril",now,is it?Good thing we're on first name basis or this could be counted as weird.
Jennifer:They look kinda ginger to me.
See that?I would possibly go gay for her.
Hayley:Well they're not.Lauren's hair,that's ginger.
Lauren:Take that back.
Jennifer:Lauren,your hair is lovely.
Lauren:And blond?!
Jennifer:Yes,and blond.
Lauren:How blond?!
(I get kinda defensive 'bout peeps callin me ginger 0_0)
Jennifer:As blond as Gerard Way from Black Parade.
Lauren: sighs,and goes into daydream about Gerard Way
Hayley:God,do you still like them?They sold out years ago.
Lauren:When I listen to someone,I don't look at their record label.
Hayley:I way prefer MSI now.My mom says I can go to their next concert in Ireland.
Lauren:Great.
Jennifer:Who are-
Hayley:Do you like LynZ?I love her,she's so beautiful and talented.
Lauren:Don't really know her,to be honest.
Hayley:Why?
Lauren:Well...I don't like Mindless.But I'm not gonna hate on her 'cause she's Gerard's wife.If she makes him happy,we should be happy,
Hayley:But she's such a good bassist.
Lauren:I don't listen to her,I wouldn't know.
Hayley:Why not?
Lauren:I don't stalk the woman,Hayley,it's just my opinion.I don't even know what she looks like.
I honestly don't.I didn't know Gee was married til last November :P
Sarah:(randomer in our music class)Can't believe you guys used to be friends!
Jennifer:You guys were friends?
I only met Jen when I came to secondary school,y'see.I've known Hayley since I was about yae-high.
Hayley:Of course we weren't.Lauren and I are like chalk and cheese.
Lauren:We were friends for like,eight years.
Hayley:We weren't,okay?!Jesus,get it into your fucking skulls.
Lauren:Why the fuck are you lying?
Hayley:I'm not lying,Lauren.I was popular in school.You weren't.
Lauren:That's absolute bullshit,you're less popular than me,both now and then!
Ans that is saying something,cuz I have like four friends.
Hayley:I have absolutely no idea what you're on about.See you later,Jennifer.

And then she left.
I don't know why I'm sharing this with you guys,I think it's just like....people fucking change, man.Secondary school fucks with you until you're this stupid,bitchy,anorexic slut.
Oh well.Only a few more weeks.And then I'm off to CALIFORNIA!
She's staying in Ireland.I really can't help but laugh at that,even though it's horrible and bitchy.
Tell me if you think high school's a waste of space too.....we can share our hatred together XD
xoxo,lauren.
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