- I enjoy the image of the starstruck Crusaders polished up the their very best in order to form a thank you party to give gifts to Yuna nd her Guardians.
I love the way you have Wakka teasingly call out for Yuna to hurry up anmd save him from Rikku's comments about Luca stadium. I tihnk you capture all of the characters quite well even if your focus is on Lulu and Auron.
I like the way that Lulu hurries away from the Cavern of the Stolen Fayth, almost as if she is a young child being pursued by nightmares.
I like the way that Lulu spouts off Auron's battle tactics to Tidus in her distraction. It makes me imagine many long lectures from him. I lie the way that Tidus suspects Auron is drawing away from them the clser he gets to Zanarkand. I like the way that Lulu is curt and tired and angry and distracted to the point that she cannot fight effectively. Poor Lulu.
I like the way that Lulu too is upset about the fact that Yuna is receding before her eyes in more ways than one, both literally and metaphorically.
Your description of the scenery of Mt Gagazet is lovely.
I look forward to the next chapter. :)
"The ground rose higher on far side, ascending in rolling leaps and bounds to join the lower slopes of the great mountain." Add "the" before "far side."
"Broad, frowning, mostly shrouded in clouds so that they could not see where Gagazet ended and sky began, it looked like an impenetrable wall from this distance." Add "the" before "sky began."
"Tidus walked along beside her, giving Rikku a casual thumb's up when she looked back at him." I don't think the apostrophe is needed in "thumb's up."
"As they mounted Gagazet's outskirts in rolling rises, they came to forested sloped held by silent, strange dark trees . . ." Replace "sloped" with "slopes."
Author's responseAww, glad you liked. Thanks for the proofread I obviously shoulda done before posting. sneaks off to fix typos ;)
- Poor Lulu.
I know events are still so recent (even though several chapters ago) but I keep waiting for her to reclaim herself fully and step back into that unshakeable black mage spirit.
Author's responseI know, I know. It was the reason I debated for a few weeks before caving to my own suspicion and fyre byrd's prompting that Yojimbo would demand a higher price than just a peep show. Hopefully I'll be able to balance my sense of authenticity -- some of my loved ones are survivors, and I know it takes more than a day to get over stuff like this -- with the magic of fantasy, and not lose that steel will that makes Lulu so appealling.
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