Chapter 6. Gerards POV. LOVE THIS.
I stumbled out of our bed at around 5:00 a.m. Thursday morning. For about thirty minutes, I watched Frankie sleep. He seemed less disturbed and tense when he was asleep. For a while, I watched his upper body rise and fall slowly, and calmly. A few times I swear to god he smiled. But I eventually got up, got into my work clothes, and tried not to wake him up. He could be a heavy sleeper when he watched to be, and sometimes he would wake up if a pin dropped. I adjusted my tie, placed a light kiss on his forehead, then walked into the bathroom. I had a while, so I re-dyed my hair. Jet black. As always.
Then after rinsing my hair out, I walked out of the bathroom, and looked at Frankie again. He didn’t move a fraction of an inch, other than when he wrinkled his nose and forehead, which was absolutely adorable. I went downstairs and started making plans for Frankie and my lunch break. We had enough time to go out somewhere and grab something to eat, so I figured we could do that. I think he’d opt out for some Dunkin Doughnuts. They had coffee and delicious pastries. His favorite.
“Frankie…” I called at 6:30 a.m., trying to get him up.
“What?” He grumbled into his pillow.
“If you want to go to work, you may want to get up now…” I suggested.
Then I heard thumping and tumbling upstairs. He was up.
I made some coffee, and put out some bagels and cream cheese, then walked upstairs to see Frankie’s bare chest while he was slipping on his work pants. God, he was so hot. I always felt like a stupid school girl who just got their first crush when I was around Frankie. He got his belt centered, then looked up.
“Hello, Gee.” He smiled and greeted me.
“Coffee is downstairs…” I said mindlessly, staring at his chest.
“Okay…” He chuckled. Then he snapped his fingers a few times. “You ok up there?”
“Um… Yeah… I think.” I said, still staring at his perfect, milky white, inked up torso.
“I hope you can wait…” He said snickering.
“Me too…” I answered, finally managing to find his face.
He slipped on his shirt, buttoned it up, and asked for some help with his tie. He never could make a correct knot. So I fixed his tie for him, he smiled and gave me a quick kiss on the lips.
“So about that coffee?” He asked, still smiling.
“Downstairs…” I said, smiling back at his smile.
Then he took my hand and pulled me downstairs with him. He pulled out a chair and sat me in it. He poured me some coffee and set a bagel on a plate for me.
“Thank you, Frankie…” I said, beaming. He was the same Frankie, but he was different to. He seemed happier than before. A lot happier.
“Anything for you, Gerard.” He said, then gave me a kiss on the cheek. “I love you… So much.”
“I love you to, Frankie…” I replied, looking down, smiling to myself. Frankie loves me. I love Frankie. Life is a joy.
By 7:00 we were out of the house, getting into the car. There was no conversation, we were just singing along with the songs that came on the radio. We had a few chuckles, then before I knew it, we were in the parking lot.
“Welcome to hell. Population, 178.” I teased.
“Heaven help the next person that thinks they want to spend the majority of their day here.” He said with a half smile.
I wrapped my arm around Frankie as we walked inside. I knew that at some point, there was going to be a fight with Ray. Frankie set his head on my upper arm. He would’ve rested it on my shoulder if he wasn’t so adorably short. I opened the door and Frankie put his arm around my waist. When I was with him, I felt like I could take on the world. I want to jump around and scream “ALL YOU MOTHER FUCKERS! LISTEN UP! I LOVE FRANK IERO, AND THERE AIN’T NOTHIN’ YO SORRY ASS CAN DO ABOUT IT!” As we got in, I saw Frankie’s eye flash straight to Ray, and Ray was looking at me. I couldn’t say I wasn’t upset with him. Because, boy I was outraged with him. How dare he tell Frankie those things? He knew I loved him! But I still wanted to be his friend. He and I have been friends for a while now.
“Don’t start anything…” I said to Frankie in a whisper.
“Can I finish something?” He hissed back.
“I’d rather you not, Frankie. Can’t we try to be adult? Please try to work it out.” I pleaded.
“No. I can’t. I’m not tall enough to be an adult! And he only dated you to upset me!” He said, getting louder.
“Dated me?” I asked. When did Ray and I start dating?
“Yeah… He told me that before I…” He trailed off.
“He told you that he and I were dating…?” I asked.
“Yes.” Frankie said.
“Well, we didn’t. I couldn’t get over you, Frankie.” I admitted.
“Oh… Another lie from the despicable bastar-” He was cut off.
“Hey, Gerard!” Ray called.
Frankie looked up at me to see what I said, I guess that kind of reinforced my reaction.
“What?” I demanded, sounding a bit shrill.
“Can we talk?” He asked, sounding upset.
I looked down at Frankie. I didn’t want to make him mad at me. He exhaled sharply, nodded a little and let his arm drop from my waist. As I started to walk away, Frankie turned me around, and pulled me into a deep kiss. Then after what seemed like a very long time, he broke the kiss.
“I love you, Gerard…” He whispered and looked into my eyes.
“I love you, too…” I said with a small smile on my face. “I’m going to go talk to Ray quick. I’ll be back. Okay Frankie?”
He nodded, and I gave him a kiss on the cheek. I walked over to Ray and kept looking back at Frankie, he was either looking at me or had his head hung. When I got up to Ray, he smiled.
“So Mikey and Frank broke up?” He questioned, with a smirk.
“They weren’t dating.” I hissed.
“You’re just going to let him play you again?” He asked.
“He’s not playing me, Ray. I love him. He loves me. That’s how it works.” I answered calmly.
“You know, Gerard. You’re right. I’m sorry. I hope you two are happy together.” He said, sounding sincere.
“Can you and Frankie possibly… Bury the hatchet? I mean… You don’t even really have a reason to be upset with him. He didn’t do anything to you.” I suggested.
“I can try.” He said, nodded once and looked at Frankie. “He. Looks. P*ed. Really pi*sed. Like… Super midget rage.”
“Oh, come on…” I chuckled. “He won’t hit you… Maybe…”
“Yeah. Yeah. If he did, I’d deserve it.” He shrugged.
Then he walked over to Frankie, and I saw lips moving, well, Ray’s lips. I don’t think Frankie was responding to him. Until I heard it.
“YOU CAN BLOW ME!” Frankie had yelled.
“Shut up, temperamental midget.” Ray responded.
Ray probably started it. Because Frankie hadn’t said a word. Oh, why does he have to be an idiot all the time. I jogged over to Frankie, and put my hand on his shoulder.
“Everything okay?” I asked, looking back and forth between Ray and Frankie, concerned.
“I’m going to rip your curly hair out of your head, you obtuse lummox!” Frankie said to Ray.
“I said work it out, not piss him off!” I said.
“I tried! He’s just plain unreasonable!” Ray demanded.
“Oh, I’ll fucking show you unreasonable!” Frankie threatened.
“Bring it, leprechaun!” Ray retorted.
Frankie flipped ray off, and looked VERY livid.
“Come on, Frankie.” I said, pulling Frankie further away from Ray to ensure there wasn’t a fight between the two. Frankie probably would’ve scalped him, then waxed his eyes with candle wax. He was creative in the homicide department.
“Fine, just make sure next time you send him over to make up, he doesn’t refer to you as mine and his… Because there is no fucking way…” He said, and trailed off.
“It’s okay… I get it…” I said, stroking his hair to calm him down.
I walked him to the bathroom, and sat him down on the bench. He broke down and cried in my arms. I couldn’t help but feel bad. The kids been through hell the past few days that I’ve seen, and for the past couple of months from what I’ve heard.
“What if he takes you from me, Gerard?!” He sniffled.
“He won’t, Frankie! I love you.” I said and wiped some of the tears off his face.
“But he’ll treat you right…” Frankie said, avoiding my eyes.
“You treat me right, Frankie. You’re the only thing that gives me the power to wake up anymore.” I admitted. “You remember when I said ‘I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t pulled through’ at the hospital? I do know what I would’ve done. Would’ve done the same thing you did.”
“NO, GEE! NO!” He got louder again. “If I’m stupid enough to kill myself, you can’t do the same thing! You have to hold on. You’re strong enough. If I do, I’ll always be with you…”
“Well. I’m sorry. But if you think you’re going to kill yourself, I am going to kill myself.” I said, still holding him and stroking his hair.
“Here, Gerard… I wrote this the day I-…” He stopped and reached into his pocket. He pulled out a small piece of paper. “It’s the note I wrote first, before the one asking if you’d want to talk to me sometime.” He handed it to me, and read it to myself. “Please Gerard, please still love me. Please, please, please. I can’t handle myself without you anymore! I want you to love me again! I want you to need me again! I can’t stand this! I was so stupid, I was so f*cking stupid! Forgive me Gerard! Please just forgive me!”
I looked up at Frankie.
“You should’ve given me this one.” I said.
“I wanted to tell you to your face.” He said sheepishly.
“Either way… I love you, not Ray. You.” I tried to convince him.
“Okay.” He nodded, sniffled then chuckled softly. “I can’t believe I’ve been here for an hour, and I’m balling.”
“I told you, you should’ve stayed home till Saturday.” I said, shaking my head.
“I just wanted to get back in the swing of things.” He replied.
“That doesn’t matter. You’re not okay enough to work yet. I think you should ask Matt if you can stay out a few more days.” I suggested.
“But, I don’t want to be away from you, Gee…” He groaned.
“Is that why you wanted to come?” I asked.
“A little bit of the reason…” He hinted.
“Oh, well, how about we avoid Ray for a few days then.” I said.
“Okay.” He nodded again.
“Come on Frankie,” I said with a smile. “How about we go back out there, and do our jobs?”
“Oh. Yes. Because my cubicle is really an upgrade from the bathroom.” He sighed sarcastically.
Frankie and I were interns for this magazine company. If you wanted to order something, you’d talk to us. We’d fill your order in. You’d probably get a cheep source of entertainment in the mail 14 business days later, while we’d sit around those days and fill out MORE orders. I know. Pressing matters.
For a tiny office, there was a shit ton of drama. A shit ton. It was like high school, except no detention. That’s the only reason I didn’t quit. As much as I hated the drama, the pay was good, and it gave me something to do while filling out those orders.
I walked Frankie back up to his cubicle, kissed his cheek, then when I went to where mine was, there was nothing there.
“What the f*ck?! Where did my cubicle go!?” I asked angrily.
Then Matt, my boss, came up to me.
“You see that new one across from Frankie?” He asked.
“Yes. I do. I don’t care. Where’s mine?” I said, getting irritated.
“That one is yours, Gerard. I figured since you and Frankie were talking again, and you two are getting closer that I’d move it. Just for you.” He said, smiling a little.
“No sh*t.” I said, scratching my head.
“Yeah.” Then he pointed to it. “The plate says, ‘Gerard Way’. I’m surprised you didn’t notice sooner. You know, you’re supposed to put your stuff in there, right?” He chuckled.
“Thanks, Matt.” I smiled. That was nice of him. I shook his hand then walked over to my new work area. I waited for Frankie to get off the phone.
“Hello, Frank Iero.” I said after he hung up.
“What are you doing here?” He asked, smiling.
“I’m just working. Now is your workplace better than the bathroom?” I joked.
“Nah. It’s still about the same.” He laughed a little.
I chuckled and got my first phone call of the day.
Oh fuckin’ boy!