Categories > Cartoons > Futurama

Dragonstore Cowgirls

by P0isonIvy543 0 Reviews

Fry, Bender, Leela, and Amy get zapped into a planet that's like Ancient Rome and the Old West.

Category: Futurama - Rating: PG - Genres: Humor - Characters:  - Warnings: [V] - Published: 2011/05/02 - Updated: 2011/05/02 - 2583 words - Complete

Fry, Bender, Leela, and Amy were at Central Park. Fry was in a baby buggy while
Bender was dressed as a fembot. "Bender! How long do I have to be in this baby
buggy?" asked Fry. "Silence meatbag! I'm posing as a single mother so I can con
people into giving me money for a paterntity suit!" Bender said. As Bender was walking,

a bunch of water balloons landed on them. Fry fell out of the baby buggy. "What the
hell! Who the hell did this?" demanded Bender! Leela and Amy walk up to them and laugh. "Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Gotcha! You gotcha good!" exclaimed Leela. "Splah! You should've seen the looks on your faces!" said Amy. "Girls can be so mean!" Fry said. "But I can be meaner!" said Bender! Then a vortex opens in the sky and sweeps them into it. "Where are we going?" asked Fry. "Maybe we're going back to 1947 New Mexico! You know, that place where you became your own Grandfather?" Bender said. "That was a continuity error!" said Leela. They were all sucked through the vortex until they pop out and land in a desert. Bender's fembot costume fell off.



They all found themselves in a desert with cactuses and old buildings. A sign says, "Welcome to Dry Gulch". "What is this place?" Fry said. "Looks like the set of a John Wayne movie". Leela said. "John Wayne movies are stupid!" said Bender. "I agree!" said Leela. "Dry Gultch I heard of this planet. It's like a cross between the Old West and Ancient Rome." Amy said. They all see a castle and walk to it. Once they arrive at the castle, they are stopped by a guard who looks like a cockroach dressed like a Mexican Bandit. Fry was scared of him. "We were expecting you, you are the chosen ones." said the guard. "You have to excuse my friend here, he's terrified of bugs." said Bender. "Come on in," said the guard. "I'll bet nobody sneaks in without a ticket." Fry said. "Sneaking in without tickets is one of my favorite pasttimes!" said Bender. Fry and Bender were lead to a ballroom and Leela and Amy were lead to the lobby. "Go up on that stage there," said the guard. "Want us to put on a show?" asked Fry. "Are you going to make us perform?" asked Bender. "No, just go up there!" said the guard. Fry and Bender did so and Zapp Branigan was up on the podium as more bugs arrived.



"Zapp, what are you doing here?" asked Fry. "I own property here." answered Zapp. "Where's your bitch, Kiff?" asked Bender. "He was too scared to come." exclaimed Zapp. There was an auction going on and Zapp was taking bids. "Do I hear 5000? 6000? 7000?" said Zapp. And all the bugs there were bidding. "9000, 100000, 110000!" Up until a sherriff came and bid the highest and Zapp says, "Sold! The Sheriff Wallach!" Sherriff Wallach looked like a bull with a blackbart cowboy outfit.



"What did you sell?" asked Fry. "Hope it's something you're giving to me! I like to receive then give!" said Bender. "Didn't you know? I just sold you both into slavery!" laughed Zapp. "Well, that sounds, WHAT?!?!!?" screamed Fry. And with that, Fry and Bender were being carried away. "Bender is nobody's slave! You can all bite my shiny metal ass!" screamed Bender.



Meanwhile in the lobby, Leela and Amy were waiting. Then the guard came up to them. "What took you so long? What's going on?" demanded Leela. "We've been waiting here for 30 minutes watching stupid FOX News!" said Amy. "Take one last look at your friends." pointed the guard to a stagecoach where Fry and Bender were being taken away. "There was an auction going on, they're going to the studium, and they've been sold as slaves!" laughed the guard. "Sold as slaves." said Leela and Amy.



"No talking in the lobby!" screamed the guard! "Shut your mouth jive turkey! Hee-ya!" Leela said as she karate kicked the guard. Leela and Amy run away as more bug guards chased them. Then they go to a stage coach and jump aboard. "Giddyup Horse!" shouted Leela. And the stagecoach sped away as the guards were chasing them on horses. Amy saw that the stagecoach was full of weed. "Hey, look, Leela! This is weed!" said Amy. "Find some paper and roll it up and light it!" said Leela.



Amy does so, and she has wrapping paper and stuffed it with weed and used a torch to light it. "Okay, now throw it!" yelled Leela and she and Amy both threw the weed at the bugs chasing them. The subdued the bugs and Leela and Amy cheered as they reached the stadium. "Hey, girls! I'll take you to the studium if you give me some oats!" said the horse. "Sorry, we don't have any oats!" said Leela. The horse threw them off. "No oats, no work! Sorry you anorexic sluts" said the horse. "Hey, don't talk to my friends like that!" said a voice that turned out to be Nibbler. "What are you going to do about it, shrimp!" said the horse. "This!" Nibbler said as he ate the horse. "Wow! Nibbler! How did you get here?" asked Leela. "Surprise to see you here." said Amy. "When I saw you guys go through the vortex, had to follow you here. I'll take you to the stadium. And I'll help you save Fry and Bender. said Nibbler.



The bugs that got the weed thrown at them were all weary and high. "What is going on here?" said the bug leader. "We're having fun!" Said one of the bugs. "Do you want to go to the dungeon? Do you want to be fed to the lions? Do you want to...." some smoke comes along the leader's way. "Dance?" They all danced to an upbeat jazz tune.



Nibbler lead Leela and Amy into the stadium. Once they were inside, they see a bunch of cows, bulls, spiders, cockroaches, cicadas, and ants dressed in western clothes. They see Sheriff Wallach sitting on a platform with Fry and Bender sitting between him. Fry gets up, "Leela!" "Fry!" said Leela. Then a guard pushes Fry back into his seat. "What do you want from us?" asked Leela. "What did you choose us for?" asked Amy. Wallach said, "I choose you to fight my champion!" "Say, is there going to be a fight to the death? Can you make them fight each other? Will there be blood and gore?" asked Bender and then he, too was pushed into his seat.



Wallach summoned his dragon, "There are no rules in this game. Expect that there are no weapons to be used! Let the game......begin!" Horns sounded. Fry gets up and throws a handkerchief for Leela. "This is for you, Leela!" he said. Leela gets the handkerchief and Fry gets pushed back into his seat. "This was very sweet of you, Fry!" The dragon started charging at Leela and Amy. Nibbler takes them aside. "Here girls, take my hand." Leela and Amy grab Nibbler's hand and they flash for a bit.



"What just happened?" asked Amy. "You both now have superpowers. Just like Michael Chiklis and Julie Benz in No Ordinary Family. Use you powers wisely you still could get overpowered!" explained Nibbler. Leela and Amy get ready to fight the dragon.



The dragon breathed fire at them and they dodged it. Then the dragon picked up Leela and Amy and threw them. Leela gets up, "I'm using power jump! What about you?" said Leela to Amy. "I'll use super speed!" said Amy. Leela then jumps 10 feet into the air and lands on the dragon. "Now, Amy! Get him!" shouted Leela. Amy then uses super speed to charge into the dragon. The dragon was stunned and came to and started coming after them again. Wallach says, "Enjoying the show, boys?"



"It's terrible! You're killing them!" cried Fry. "Say, listen, sheriff, what can I do to become more like you? I've always wanted to rule a planet and......" before Bender can finish he was pushed back into his seat! "Dammit! Where's all the blood and gore I was promised? What is this the Ice Capades?" screamed Bender.





When the dragon came after them again, Leela and Amy were doing stealth jumps to confuse it. Then Bender gets an idea, "Say, Fry, want to place bets?" "No! Leela and Amy might be killed, and they're our only hope for freedom!" said Fry. "My bet goes to the dragon!" said Bender. "Careful what you hope for! I'm here for Leela and Amy!" said Fry. "I don't care what you think, I'm rooting for the dragon!" said Bender. Then Fry screamed angerly, "WE'RE HERE FOR LEELA AND AMY!!!! NOT THE DRAGON!!!! WE'RE HERE FOR LEELA AND AMY!!!" "Are you guys aware that if they get killed you're slaves for all eternity?" asked Wallach. Then Fry and Bender gulped.



Then Leela used her super strength power to pick up the dragon and throw it. Then the dragon started to twirl around it's tail. "Try to grab it when you can!" said Leela. When the dragon's tail reached in their direction, Leela and Amy tripped and the dragon swung it's tail again and then they both grabbed the tail and tossed the dragon into the air. The dragon was hurt badly. Then it started blowing fire again. This time Amy used power jump and Leela used super speed to hurt the dragon. "Good job, girls! Keep it up!" said Nibbler. Fry jumped up and down, "Go Leela! Go Amy!" then he was thrown back into his seat. Bender did the same, "Go Dragon! Go Dragon! It's your birthday!" then Bender was thrown back into his seat. The dragon started charging at then and Leela and Amy did the same there was an explosion and no one was hurt. Leela and Amy both stood up and looked at the startled dragon.



After the smoke cleared, Sheriff Wallach had Fry and Bender banished. Then the dragon got up and breathed fire at Leela and Amy. Then Nibbler jumped into the air and sprayed water at the dragon. "Well, girls. There's one thing left to do." said Nibbler. "What's that?" asked Leela. "We need to confuse this dragon. And you and Amy will have to dance." said Nibbler. "Dance? Have you lost your mind?" said Amy. "You girls need to dance! Dance!" said Nibbler as he turned on a radio and the song Percussion Gun by White Rabbits began playing and Leela and Amy danced around the dragon to confuse it. Leela and Amy did cartwheels, handsprings, and flips as well. Then the dragon got really dizzy and it collapsed into a deep sleep. "We did it!" said Amy. "We won! Now let's go get Fry and Bender!" said Leela as she and Amy used their power jump to go on the platform. Once they did, they noticed Fry and Bender were gone. Leela grabbed Sheriff Wallach by the shirt. "What have you done with Fry and Bender??!!" She asked angerly. "I had them sold! To drug dealers!" laughed the Sheriff. Then Amy punches Sheriff Wallach while screaming in Cantonese. And Leela throws him over her shoulder.



They exit the stadium and they see an intoxicated Zapp. "Hey, girls! You were both A-1 in that rodeo!" said Zapp. Leela and Amy run up to him. "Where's Fry and Bender?" demanded Leela. "Did you have something to do with this?" asked Amy. "Sure did. I owed a favor to the Sheriff so I sold them to drug dealers! Oh, and the Sheriff stole all the townspeople's money to put on that show he did!" Then Leela and Amy both beat up Zapp. "Well, guess what Zapp, you're going to help us find them!" said Leela. "We'll take that stagecoach!" said Amy. Nibbler said, "I'll give the townspeople back their money, you girls go save Fry and Bender!" Nibbler goes off. Then Leela, Amy, and Zapp all boarded the stagecoach. "Well, since I slept with both you girls, I'll make it up to you!" said Zapp as he drank again. "Why are you doing that?" asked Leela. "I concentrate better when I'm drunk!" said Zapp. "Okay, tell us where these drug dealers are!" demanded Amy.



Zapp lead them to a bad part of the planet. That looked like a ghetto. "They're in that abandoned warehouse over there. Be careful of that step, it's a doozy!" "We don't know what you're talking about!" said Leela as she and Amy came to the front door. Leela knocked and a cicada answered. "Yes?" asked the cicada. "We're looking for Fry and Bender!" yelled Leela. "Who?" asked the cicada. "Fry and Bender!" said Amy. "Which ones?" asked the cicada as he pointed to the couch where Fry and Bender were sitting they were both sedated along with other people sitting on the couch. "The man and the robot." yelled Leela. "Who?" asked the cicada. "You know, the red headed one, with the spiky hair that if he were to stay in the sun too long, he'll burn easily." explained Leela. "Yes, him." pointed Amy. "You mean the honky?" asked the cicada. "Yes, him!" said Leela. "We own everything there. Everything here is ours! Get outta here you hos!" said the cicada. And Leela and Amy left.



Then the cicada goes to get some nectar and Leela and Amy broke down the warehouse with their super strength powers and grabbed Fry and Bender. Zapp ran after the ship. "Wait for me! Wait for me!" They didn't come back for him.



Nibbler comes to them in his spaceship which was now bigger. "C'mon girls! We have no time to lose!" said Nibbler as Leela and Amy boarded the spaceship carrying Fry and Bender. Nibbler takes them back to earth. Back in New New York, they were trying to revive Fry and Bender. Then Nibbler touches them and they slowly begin to wake up. "Nibbler has healing powers?" said Amy. "And he gave us powers." said Leela. "Leela! Amy! I'm so happy you saved us!" said Fry as he got up and Leela helped him on a couch. "What about you, Bender?" asked Nibbler. "Leela and Amy! I will never forgive you! I liked that Sheriff and I was going to work for him! I was going to learn all I can from him so I can be like him! I hate you Leela and Amy! For rescuing me I'm going to hate you until the day I die!" screamed Bender. They all laughed. "That's our Bender!" said Leela. "Well girls, I have to go now. But I'll be back soon. My planet needs me now. Just don't get sucked into any more vortexes!" said Nibbler as he departed on his spaceship. They all said goodbye to Nibbler. "Well, that was a fun adventure!" said Leela. "I agree! It's not everyday we get superpowers!" said Amy. "You really kicked ass in that rodeo!" said Fry. "Speaking of asses, can I beat you girls up?" asked Bender angerly. "Just stop it, Bender!" said Leela as they all walk back to Planet Express. "I wonder what happened to Zapp?" wondered Amy.



Then it shows Zapp Branigan walking around the desert drunk and singing, "How dry I am! Nobody knows! How dry I am! Last time I ever work for a Sherriff!" said Zapp as he collapsed into the sand.




THE END
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