Categories > TV > Queer As Folk
It should Have Been Me
1 ReviewsThis is my spin on what would have happened if Brian had been the one to get bashed in the head instead.
Justin sat in the hallway of the I.C.U. He got up out of his chair when he saw Debbie rushing towards him. "Sunshine, are you all right?" She hugged him tightly when he didn't answer.
Finally he found his voice. "It's Brian."
Debbie didn't know what had happened but she was worried about Justin. She knew that teenage boys were fragile. "Sunshine. You shouldn't sit here let me take you home."
Justin shook his head. "What if something happens while I'm at home? If there's any change I want to know exactly when it happens." That was when Justin noticed that Melanie was standing near Debbie.
"Don't worry. I'm staying. If something happens you'll know because I'll call. You need to go home." Mel put her hand on his shoulder and squeezed it lightly. He nodded and let Debbie lead him out of the hospital and into the car.
While he was in his bathroom he relived what was supposed to have been one of the happiest nights of his life. He had been surprised when Brian who entered the gym. They had danced together. He remembered gazing into Brian's eyes. He had been so happy and he didn't mind that Brian's pupils were dilated. After their slow dance they went towards the parking garage, neither of them saw Chris Hobbs and his intense stare. They didn't even notice that they were followed into the parking garage.
They were goofing. Brian spun Justin into a circle. They kissed and Brian whispered the following into his ear, "I love you." Justin smiled. Out of the corner of his eye he saw something move. Before his brain could register what it was a metal bat made contact with the back of Brian's head. Brian crumpled to the ground. Without thinking Justin grabbed the bat from Chris and cracked him between the legs, there was a wet popping sound. Chris screamed and cupped his crotch. Justin could see the blood seeping through his fingers. The next few minutes were a blur of flashing lights and blaring sirens.
By the time Justin stepped out of the shower, there was a fresh batch of tears making their way down his cheeks. He got dressed. He knew that he had to get back to the hospital. He was afraid that something would happen to Brian if he weren't there.
Brian was in a coma for 2 weeks. Justin was trying his best to have a positive attitude but as each day passed he became more leery. He began to realize the ever-alarming possibility that Brian might not wake up. That would mean that the respirator would be unplugged and he would die.
Three days into his coma his sister Clare came to see him. Before she even walked into his room she approached Justin.
"I'd change my ways if I were you. You know that you're next. This is what he gets for being nothing but a fag."
Justin sneered. "No. I'd change yourways if I were you. If you don't you'll be alone for the rest of your life. That's what you get for being nothing but a bitch."
She walked out the door instead of going into Brian's room. She never did go and see him. Justin wasn't surprised, especially if her attitude reflected that of Brian's parents. That being said he wasn't surprised that neither Joan nor Jack Kinney came to see him.
The afternoon that Clare had her confrontation with Justin Michael was called from Portland. As it turned out Brian hadn't been joking when he said that he wanted Michael to pull his plug. He had a will made up months ago. In the will it stated that if he was ever unable to care for himself that Michael was the one who was to permit him to die.
Five days into the coma Michael had Brian taken off life support. When the machines were shut off Justin cried. Michael hugged him. Brian had quit breathing and was technically dead for a minute and a half. To everyone's surprise he started to breathe on his own. It was still another nine days before Brian would open his eyes.
Justin was in class when he was told to get his books and go to the office. He was worried when he got there and was greeted by his mother.
"Is he. . ."
Jen shook her head. "He's awake."
Justin was shocked into silence.
There was a lot of commotion in Brian's hospital room when Justin got there. Everyone that wanted to see him was outside the door. The doctor walked into the hallway. "Mr. Kinney wishes to see Justin Taylor. Feel free to enter at your own risk." Justin stood up and walked to the room.
Pillows propped up Brian, so that he was in a sitting position. Justin realized how old and fragile Brian looked. He noticed that his eyes were rimmed red. The way that his eyes looked shocked him most of all mainly because the tears were still falling. Justin had never seen Brian cry and now that he had he wasn't sure that he ever wanted to again. Brian wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. He decided that if the silence was going to be broken then he would have to be the one to do it.
"Are you okay?"
Justin sat on the edge of the bed. He held Brian's hand. "Me? Why wouldn't I be? I'm not the one who has been in a coma."
Brian squeezed Justin's hand. "It gets worse."
Justin smiled. He wasn't sure if Brian was serous. He knew that Brian could be pessimistic. "Yeah? How?"
Brian inhaled and licked his lips. "I'm paralyzed from the waist down."
Justin swallowed the panic that threatened to surface. He knew that he had to be strong for Brian. He knew that Brian needed him.
"Is it permanent?"
Brian shrugged. "They don't know. The doctor said that it could be. Only time will tell."
Justin leaned over and hugged Brian as tight as he could. "What do we do now?"
Again Brian shrugged. "What can we do? The first thing is that I'm selling the loft. Then I don't know."
Justin thumbed a tear away from his eyes. "It should have been me."
Brian leaned over and grabbed Justin by his shoulders. He forced Justin to look at him. "Don't say that! I don't know what I'd do if the positions were reversed. All I know is that I need you now. I know that I've always said that I don't need anyone but I was wrong. I need you. Don't leave me." The tears were rolling down Brian's cheeks.
Justin embraced him. "I'm not leaving you. It'll be okay. We'll take this one step at a time. We'll take care of each other. Somehow we'll get through this." Justin kissed Brian, and then he just held his hand.
The two men shared an uncomfortable silence, as each was lost in his own thoughts. It wasn't long before Brian was asleep.
Justin knew that now he would have to talk to all their friends about the information. He was just hoping that the doctor already had. He was uncertain of his future as he closed the door and walked into the hallway,
The End
Finally he found his voice. "It's Brian."
Debbie didn't know what had happened but she was worried about Justin. She knew that teenage boys were fragile. "Sunshine. You shouldn't sit here let me take you home."
Justin shook his head. "What if something happens while I'm at home? If there's any change I want to know exactly when it happens." That was when Justin noticed that Melanie was standing near Debbie.
"Don't worry. I'm staying. If something happens you'll know because I'll call. You need to go home." Mel put her hand on his shoulder and squeezed it lightly. He nodded and let Debbie lead him out of the hospital and into the car.
While he was in his bathroom he relived what was supposed to have been one of the happiest nights of his life. He had been surprised when Brian who entered the gym. They had danced together. He remembered gazing into Brian's eyes. He had been so happy and he didn't mind that Brian's pupils were dilated. After their slow dance they went towards the parking garage, neither of them saw Chris Hobbs and his intense stare. They didn't even notice that they were followed into the parking garage.
They were goofing. Brian spun Justin into a circle. They kissed and Brian whispered the following into his ear, "I love you." Justin smiled. Out of the corner of his eye he saw something move. Before his brain could register what it was a metal bat made contact with the back of Brian's head. Brian crumpled to the ground. Without thinking Justin grabbed the bat from Chris and cracked him between the legs, there was a wet popping sound. Chris screamed and cupped his crotch. Justin could see the blood seeping through his fingers. The next few minutes were a blur of flashing lights and blaring sirens.
By the time Justin stepped out of the shower, there was a fresh batch of tears making their way down his cheeks. He got dressed. He knew that he had to get back to the hospital. He was afraid that something would happen to Brian if he weren't there.
Brian was in a coma for 2 weeks. Justin was trying his best to have a positive attitude but as each day passed he became more leery. He began to realize the ever-alarming possibility that Brian might not wake up. That would mean that the respirator would be unplugged and he would die.
Three days into his coma his sister Clare came to see him. Before she even walked into his room she approached Justin.
"I'd change my ways if I were you. You know that you're next. This is what he gets for being nothing but a fag."
Justin sneered. "No. I'd change yourways if I were you. If you don't you'll be alone for the rest of your life. That's what you get for being nothing but a bitch."
She walked out the door instead of going into Brian's room. She never did go and see him. Justin wasn't surprised, especially if her attitude reflected that of Brian's parents. That being said he wasn't surprised that neither Joan nor Jack Kinney came to see him.
The afternoon that Clare had her confrontation with Justin Michael was called from Portland. As it turned out Brian hadn't been joking when he said that he wanted Michael to pull his plug. He had a will made up months ago. In the will it stated that if he was ever unable to care for himself that Michael was the one who was to permit him to die.
Five days into the coma Michael had Brian taken off life support. When the machines were shut off Justin cried. Michael hugged him. Brian had quit breathing and was technically dead for a minute and a half. To everyone's surprise he started to breathe on his own. It was still another nine days before Brian would open his eyes.
Justin was in class when he was told to get his books and go to the office. He was worried when he got there and was greeted by his mother.
"Is he. . ."
Jen shook her head. "He's awake."
Justin was shocked into silence.
There was a lot of commotion in Brian's hospital room when Justin got there. Everyone that wanted to see him was outside the door. The doctor walked into the hallway. "Mr. Kinney wishes to see Justin Taylor. Feel free to enter at your own risk." Justin stood up and walked to the room.
Pillows propped up Brian, so that he was in a sitting position. Justin realized how old and fragile Brian looked. He noticed that his eyes were rimmed red. The way that his eyes looked shocked him most of all mainly because the tears were still falling. Justin had never seen Brian cry and now that he had he wasn't sure that he ever wanted to again. Brian wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. He decided that if the silence was going to be broken then he would have to be the one to do it.
"Are you okay?"
Justin sat on the edge of the bed. He held Brian's hand. "Me? Why wouldn't I be? I'm not the one who has been in a coma."
Brian squeezed Justin's hand. "It gets worse."
Justin smiled. He wasn't sure if Brian was serous. He knew that Brian could be pessimistic. "Yeah? How?"
Brian inhaled and licked his lips. "I'm paralyzed from the waist down."
Justin swallowed the panic that threatened to surface. He knew that he had to be strong for Brian. He knew that Brian needed him.
"Is it permanent?"
Brian shrugged. "They don't know. The doctor said that it could be. Only time will tell."
Justin leaned over and hugged Brian as tight as he could. "What do we do now?"
Again Brian shrugged. "What can we do? The first thing is that I'm selling the loft. Then I don't know."
Justin thumbed a tear away from his eyes. "It should have been me."
Brian leaned over and grabbed Justin by his shoulders. He forced Justin to look at him. "Don't say that! I don't know what I'd do if the positions were reversed. All I know is that I need you now. I know that I've always said that I don't need anyone but I was wrong. I need you. Don't leave me." The tears were rolling down Brian's cheeks.
Justin embraced him. "I'm not leaving you. It'll be okay. We'll take this one step at a time. We'll take care of each other. Somehow we'll get through this." Justin kissed Brian, and then he just held his hand.
The two men shared an uncomfortable silence, as each was lost in his own thoughts. It wasn't long before Brian was asleep.
Justin knew that now he would have to talk to all their friends about the information. He was just hoping that the doctor already had. He was uncertain of his future as he closed the door and walked into the hallway,
The End
Log in to rate and review this story