See chapter 1.
Wade was up the minute Chris was out of bed. He waited until Chris was out of the shower before he let him know that he was awake. Chris had his back to the bed when he walked into the room. Wade had always thought that some guys were good looking and Chris was no exception. This didn't mean that he was going to jump in bed with the man; it just meant that if he were gay he'd probably go for Chris. Maybe.
"Where you going?"
Chris turned as he slipped his jeans over his slim hips. "I'm leaving. It'll be better that way."
Wade shook his head. "Nope."
As Chris tried to put on a t-shirt Wade pulled him on to the bed. He wrapped his arms around the other man. Chris seemed stiff and awkward in his arms. "It's okay. I know that you're embarrassed but you don't need to be. I don't share your feelings but I'll be here for you. I'll be anything you need me to be."
Chris sighed; Wade felt his intake of breath rather than heard it. Wade knew that change had a way of terrifying Chris, especially since his ordeal with Creed. He knew exactly what he had been offering when he said that he'd be anything that Chris said that he needed. If he needed a lover then he'd be that. The more he held Chris the more he could imagine doing it all the time. Chris had become such a normal part of his life; he'd have a hard time picturing life without him.
Chris sighed again. "No. I can't ask that of you. I'm not going to ask you to be with me, I know you're not gay. I have a thing for you and that's my problem. It'll just make my life a little easier if I'm not around you."
Wade decided that he had heard enough. He pressed his lips to Chris', not caring about anything other than needing Chris to stay. Chris looked into Wade's eyes. He was trying to figure out what that kiss meant. He wanted Wade badly but he wanted Wade to be there because he wanted to be and not because he felt that he had to be. Chris was looking into Wade's eyes, trying to read the truth. Finally he gave up and decided that asking out right was the only way that he was going to know.
"Do you mean it? If you want to be here, whether it's with me as a lover or as just a friend, it's cool. I want you here because you want-"
Wade did find it cute when Chris babbled, he seldom did it but when he did it was usually because he was nervous. He briefly wondered if he babbled and rambled when he thought that Creed had come to kill him. Wade leaned forward and kissed him again.
Chris finally broke for air. He couldn't think of a single thing to say so he just nodded and relaxed against Wade's chest. He could hear Wade breathing and the beating of his heart; Wade was relieved to feel Chris relax. He held him close and wondered if their kiss would change things between them.
Chris woke up in the middle of the afternoon. His heart skipped a beat when he realized that he was alone in bed. He irrationally thought that perhaps Wade had left sometime after he fell asleep. He wasn't that surprised…no one stayed with him for long. He curled into a ball and slowly turned off the lights.
Wade knew that something was going on. He was taking a shower when all the lights went out. He quickly rinsed the shampoo out of his hair, grabbed his jeans off the back of the toilet, slipped them on and walked back into the bedroom. He sat on the edge of the bed and whispered to him. "Chris, you're okay." He had mistakenly thought that Chris was asleep and just having a nightmare. It wasn't until he began to gently rub Chris' back, causing the other man to uncurl that he realized that he was awake. "Are you up?"
Chris wiped the tears from his eyes with the back of his arm. The last thing that he wanted was for Wade to see him as a blubbering mess. That would not only be humiliating but if Wade had had any genuine feelings for him; he was pretty sure they'd mysteriously disappear. He turned so that he was facing Wade. "I suppose you want the lights back on?"
Wade nodded. Chris closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Slowly the lights came back on. "Thank you. If you weren't asleep and not having a nightmare what was with the power being out?"
"I thought that you had left and the lights were bothering me." Chris figured that saying a half-truth was better then right out lying.
Wade was not psychic but he knew when he was being lied to. He knew why Chris was lying and he wasn't afraid to admit that he was confused; he wasn't sure how he felt towards his friend anymore. If he was confused he couldn't begin to imagine how Chris was feeling. He continued to rub Chris' back. He knew that sooner or later Chris would tell him the truth. "Is that really what happened?"
Chris debated with himself. He knew that there was nothing that he could tell Wade that the other man didn't already know. He remembered how he felt when Wade had kissed him; he wanted to feel like that again. He felt his heart leap into his throat and the lights started to nervously flicker. "No. I thought that you had left. You had no reason to stay."
Wade could feel Chris' frustration. He wiped away the tears that had made their way down his friend's cheeks. "I'm here because I want to be here. I'm here because you need me. Creed has seriously messed with your perception, so I'm here to protect you."
Chris curled away from Wade. This wasn't the way that he wanted things to go. Wade wasn't supposed to know how terrified he was. He was supposed to believe him when he said that he was fine. He was supposed to tell him that he was leaving because it was time and because Chris was doing well on his own. Of course none of that happened.
Wade wasn't going to let Chris go. The sooner Chris clued into that, the sooner they could stop having these discussions. Wade got into the bed and curled his body around Chris'. "I don't mind. I wouldn't be—"
Chris turned so that he was facing his friend. "You already told me that."
Wade sighed, for the first time he was silent. He knew that this was just another technique that Chris used to keep people away. "I'm not going away. I'm here for you. You've got me forever."
Despite the exasperated sigh that came from the man he was lying in bed with he knew that he had won that argument. Chris snuggled into Wade's embrace, liking the feel of strong arms around him. "So, you're saying that I'm stuck with you?"
Wade smiled. He wouldn't have put it that way but he could deal with it. "More or less."
Chris shrugged. Wade began to lightly stroke Chris's arm. He wasn't thinking and frankly he didn't care. He was having a hard time sorting out how he was feeling. Wade kissed the top of Chris' head and Chris sighed. "Do you love me?"
The question came out of the blue but Wade wasn't surprised. Chris had already said that he was attracted to him. Wade wasn't shocked at all that Chris needed and wanted to feel protected and safe. Part of Wade was convinced that Chris was confusing these feelings with love. Wade would do everything that he could to ensure that Chris felt protected and safe.
"No." When Chris turned away, Wade put his hand under his chin, forcing the other man to look at him. "I don't. But like I already said I will always be here for you." Despite the fact that he had said that, when Chris kissed him, Wade returned the kiss.
Chris placed his hand on Wade's thigh. "No?" He cocked an eyebrow, as he gently rubbed Wade's crotch, feeling Wade become hard under his ministrations. "I think your penis believes otherwise. When was the last time that you got laid?"
Wade breathed heavily through his nose. He couldn't remember the last time that he had been touched or had full out sex. He was willing to bet that Chris was in the same boat. "It's been awhile."
As Chris kissed Wade's neck, he nodded. He could relate to that. The entire time that he had been working for Stryker there hadn't been a lot of time for personal relationships. Before Stryker, he had been too busy running and hiding. Then when he was working as a Carnie he kept to himself, being careful not to draw attention to himself. The last thing that he had needed was a mob.
Wade moved so that Chris was straddling his waist. Chris experimentally pressed down on the erection that was pressing against his ass; he smiled and kissed Wade as the other man moaned. When they broke for air Wade looked into the other man's eyes. "Have you ever done this before?"
Chris chuckled (Wade knew that this was another one of Chris' nervous habits). "No."
Wade pressed his palm against Chris' erection that was forming in his pants. "I'll take it easy." He could feel Chris start to shake. He placed his hand on the small of Chris' back and rubbed in gentle circles. "Are you sure that this is something that you want to do?"
Chris moved forward and kissed Wade. He swiped his tongue across Wade's lips and Wade opened his mouth, and their tongues began to battle for dominance. At the same time Wade's hands were busy unbuttoning Chris' pants, Chris unbuttoned Wade's shirt pulling it off his shoulders and down his muscular arms. Wade gasped as Chris' mouth made contact with every inch of skin that he could reach. Next Chris removed Wade's pants and then straddled Wade's waist again.
Wade pulled Chris' pants and boxers off. Chris blushed; he had never been naked in front of another man, not when he knew that it was going to lead to sex. Wade thought that it was adorable that after everything that he had been through, everything he had seen he was still capable of blushing, from the simple act of getting undressed in front of another man. Wade leaned forward, "Are you sure about this? The only reason that I'm asking again is that I want to make sure that this is something that you really want."
"Yeah, this is what I want."
Wade pulled him closer and kissed his mouth. As they were kissing, he inserted a lubed finger into Chris' body. Chris inhaled sharply at the unfamiliar sensation and Wade gently rubbed his back. "It's okay. Take a deep breath." Chris nodded and took a deep breath. At the same time, Chris gasped again and ground his teeth, when Wade added another finger. That was until Wade found his spot, then a firework show was going off in his head.
Wade kissed Chris' forehead. "Okay, now just try to relax. This'll hurt a bit." Chris nodded. Chris took a deep breath and Wade started to push into his friend's body. Chris hissed through his clenched teeth; obviously, their definitions of hurt a little bit differed drastically. He felt as if he were riding a pole and slowly being ripped in a half.
Wade pulled him close. Wade knew the holding him close would serve to calm him down while at the same time lessen his pain. "Try to relax."
"It hurts too much." Chris squeezed his eyes shut and the light flickered.
"I know. I know." He kissed the side of Chris face. "It'll get better in a minute, trust me." Wade angled his thrusts so that he stabbed Chris' prostate. As a direct result of this, the lights went completely out for a moment. Wade chuckled.
"Oh…wow." The lights came back on but remained dim.
"You liked that?"
Chris pushed himself up so that he was next to Wade's ear. "Do that again." Within a few minutes, Wade was gliding in and out of Chris' body. Chris was pushing himself down on Wade's penis and moaning. Wade was starting to lose his rhythm. "I hate to break your mood but I'm going to come."
Chris snaked a hand in between their bodies and began jerking himself off in time to Wade's thrusts. It was only a few minutes before they both came. Chris collapsed on top of Wade, enjoying the heat of Wade's body. Wade was stroking his back and waiting until Chris was ready to move.
Chris carefully got off Wade. Wade hugged him tightly. He knew that he finally figured it out. He could feel the other man shaking in his arms. "Chris?"
Chris looked up through tearful eyes. "Yeah."
Wade thumbed a tear off his friend's face. "What's the matter?"
"I know that soon you'll leave me. I'll be alone again." As soon as the last words were out of his mouth, the tears began to flow from his eyes.
Wade held him tighter. "No." He tilted Chris' head so that he was looking into Chris' eyes. "I'm not here to just fuck you and leave. I'm here to stay. I thought that we covered this already. You aren't going to ever be alone again."
Chris' brow wrinkled. "But I thought that you said that you didn't love me."
Wade hugged him tightly. "Forget what I said. I can't say that things won't eventually change but we have to leave in the moment. I'm here with you now and that's what matters."
Chris nodded. He figured he had said everything that needed to be said. He closed his eyes, so did Wade and the lights went out.