(#) Kid_Vicous 2011-05-17 10:43:17 PMSo, I have a knack for picking out stories which are going to need some work. I could see that this would be one of those from the summary. "Frank levees". Shouldn't that be leaves? Yes. It should.
I think there was a change in tense here: "the love of his life- no his LIFE as he walks out on him." You switched from past tense to present so change "walks" to "walked". You included Green Day and therefore you deserve a cookie (:.') but "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" is spelt wrong. And the sentence “Baby it’s okay now, our in heaven.” What does "Our in heaven" even mean? You might want to look at that sentence again.
Plotwise it's a little a cliché. Frank and Gerard have an argument, one leaves, the other kills themselves. I've seen it done so many times before but I know that it's a major source for a lot of writers to write about so I won't come down on you too hard for it. This was actually quite well-written and there was some beautiful description. I also really liked the end with Mikey giving them the rings.
So all in all good work. Just brush up on a few things here and there.