I mean, I have good friends. They're awesome to be around. They've been longing to be in a rock band for ages now, and they're all getting there.
I guess I should tell you just exactly who my friends are, because this rambling is probably misleading.
See, I have a few good friends. You've probably heard of all of them before. My oldest friend is David Lee Roth. Girls faint when he walks past, and nearly burst into orgasms just at the sight of him dry-humping his microphone stand. Let me tell you something, though. It's all just for show. He's gay. He likes to call himself the "sassy gay friend" or some shit like that often. I don't see him as any different, he's a fucking awesome dude.
Dave introduced me to two rowdy motherfuckers. They go by Nikki Sixx and Tommy Lee. Nikki is a mysterious guy, but once he has a few drinks in him he's the most obnoxious thing ever. He has this vision in his head of how he wants his band to progress. He has a pretty addictive personality, and I hope that doesn't screw him over in the long run.
Tommy acts like a little kid with ADHD. He has the most energy I've ever seen in anybody. If he's sitting still, he's not really still. He's bouncing, his leg is twitching, he's clearing his throat. It's a wonder he can calm down to sleep at night. I gotta hand it to him, he's a pretty good kid. Such a follower though. That's probably gonna fuck with him.
I'm also pretty friendly with Vince Neil. To be honest, he's a pain in the ass, always searching for a piece of ass to fuck. He has so much stamina, though. I'll see him enter the bathroom with one chick, hear him scream out his orgasm, and then chick after chick will pour in, and he'll bone them all. I think it amazes us all.
There's this little kid that comes around sometimes. He calls himself Sebastian. He's always trying to fit in with the older guys. He can't be more than fifteen years old, though. The guys will shove a bottle of Jack under his nose, and just to be accepted, he'll down it and puke his guts out for the next hour. He always tells us he's gonna be big and famous like everyone else, and I guess we just brush it off. He's too young to know what he's talking about, anyway.
Then there's Nick. Everyone else calls him Razzle, but I think he likes it when I call him Nick. He's such a sweet little kid. When he's sober, he's quiet and retreats into a quiet place to just chill by himself. When he's high or drunk he's probably the loudest person I've ever seen. He is just the sweetest little kid around here.
Eddie Van Halen comes around a little bit. He's more the serious type, but he's the easiest laugh you've ever seen. He's a jokester, and loves playing pranks on people. He's really easy to be around. Not much of a talker, though. I don't know that much about him, since he's usually off somewhere else.
I met Randy Rhoads a few times. He was such a sweetheart. Had the patience everyone wished they had. He sat down with me once and taught me how to play a few chords on the guitar. He was an excellent teacher. I really do miss him.
I guess people could call me fortunate to be friends with all of these celebrities on the party scene. I'm not much of a partier, so all of these people streaming in and out gets old real quick. Mostly, I just sit in one of the bedrooms next to Dave while he snorts off of a broken mirror and talks incoherently about how he tried to shag a dude but he called him a fag and what not. I have people coming up to me asking how it is to be around them. I just say it's like being around testosterone-pumped bulls who just saw red. Fights here, fights there, drugs and chicks in that corner, jamming out in that corner. Puking everywhere. It's like a frat house. I don't know why Dave leaves this place every morning, probably because it's too fucking insane, but it's odd being stuck with these lunatics for twenty four hours a day. And by lunatics I mean Nikki, Tommy, Vince, and a never ending stream of destruction. Yeah, this is my life. By the way, my name is Jessica. You can call me Jessie.