John and Paul end it, then and there
George and Ringo managed to escape the bedroom alive and were at this point in the lounge again, multitasking. When I say multitasking, I mean they were smoking and thinking at the same time, which they didn't normally do.
"Thought of anything yet?" George asked after a while
"Nope" Ringo replied, flicking his ash
"This is bad. If we don't sort them out soon, this band will fall apart. We'll lose our place on the top spot to some other band" he began trembling violently, his cigarette dropping from his mouth.
Ringo gasped, "You don't mean...?"
"The Rolling Stones!?" they both cried in unison
They began hyperventilating and clutched each other, trying hard to calm each other down
"It's alright Georgie" said Ringo after a while, "I'll make sure it never comes to that"
There was suddenly a loud thumping from upstairs and as the two peered upwards, dust began falling from the ceiling and the chandelier began to shake.
"Oh God, what are they doing now?" George moaned
"I dread to think. Come on, let's go outside. I need some fresh air"
Back in Happy Valley, Paul was busy hurling objects at John to make it obvious to him that he wasn't happy
"Oh yeah Mr Mccartney, VERY mature" John snapped as he dodged an iron, "I can see you have the makings of a GREAT musician!"
He ducked as a piano stool was flung at him. It broke into pieces just meters above his head
"Take it like a man Lennon! To think I let you into my life, my heart, MY BED!"
"What's the big deal, it's not like anyone else knows about it! Apart from all those people I told at that party we went to"
He swerved as a lamp narrowly missed his head and smashed against the wall
"You always said you loved me! That we were going to be together, settle down, maybe even have kids! I worked WEEKENDS for you, then I find you in bed with some TRAMP. I ought to CASTRATE you!" Paul yelled as he hurled just about anything he could grab (including some of his favourite records) at John
"You know I meant what I said!" John argued back, successfully dodging all these items apart from the baseball which hit a particularly painful part of his crotch, "and that stripper was a mistake, how many times do I have to tell you... wait, what was that about castrating me-?"
He was cut off as another record was thrown at him
"I regret the day I ever met you Lennon!"
"That makes two of us!"
"I hate you, I fucking HATE you" Paul yelled as a kettle came into the firing line, "it's all your fault!"
"Oh get over yourself, just because I showed you a good time!"
"I WAS A VIRGIN!"
"WELL NO LOSS THERE THEN!"
A bellboy was passing the couple's bedroom before the bedroom door swung open and paul stormed out, wiping the tears from his eyes.
"NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN JOHN!" he shouted tearfully, not looking back as he stormed down the stairs
John appeared at the bedroom door with a black eye
He turned around to see the bellboy gawping at him
"What you looking at, shorty?" he snapped before going back into the bedroom and slamming the door.
And as for the bellboy?
He power walked down those stairs like there to was no tomorrow