Frank finds out something.
I can’t believe this. I’m so mad that I’m fuming. How could she? She was the only girl I loved; she knew I’d do anything for her.
Her excuse was that she didn’t know. I think the real excuse is that she’s insane, sick and twisted. I mean, of all the things she could’ve done, why that?
This sound stupid, but if anything, I wish she had cheated on me. Then she could apologise, tell me it was some kind of mistake… I could believe her and we could pretend nothing had happened. It would hurt for a while but I’d get over it. But I won’t get over this. This is way too big for me to forget too quickly.
I brought her Mum the largest bouquet of flowers that I could find. I thought it’d be really hard for her at the moment. I mean, I only went round to her house because Jenna invited me in the first place. She wanted me to meet her parents.
When I got there, her Mum opened the door. I handed her the flowers and she smiled at me and told me Jenna was upstairs getting dressed. We stood awkwardly in the hall for a moment. I thought it was simply because she didn’t know what to say, worried that I didn’t know about Jenna’s illness or something. But then she invited me into the kitchen for a drink.
She told me to call her Debbie and sat me down at the table. I took a careful sip of my drink before Debbie turned to me and said “I want to say thanks for making my Jenna so happy, by the way.”
“It’s okay,” I replied “I mean I only just found out about Jenna’s disease so-“
I stopped midsentence when Debbie looked really confused. She was the first one to ask a question “What do you mean Jenna’s disease?”
“Her lung disease…” I told her “She told me didn’t have long left to live.”
Debbie’s confused look soon turned to anger “Why on earth would she say that?”
I stood up “I’m sorry…”
At that moment, Jenna walked in. I turned to face her, furious “Why did you lie to me about your lung disease? About not having long left to live?”
She stared at me, silent for a few moments. Then finally she whispered “I’m so sorry.”
I shook my head “No. This is too big for an apology. You lied to me. You can’t lie to me about something like this. What even made you lie about this?”
“I… I don’t know.” Jenna told me, tears welling up in her eyes “Frank, I didn’t mean for-“
“For what?” I snapped “For making me believe you were going to die? I didn’t want you to die! I cried myself to sleep last night Jenna, thinking about you!”
“I don’t know why I said it!” Jenna insisted, but I just shook my head again and stormed past her. I didn’t turn around when she called my name. She didn’t try chasing me down the street. Jenna knew that I wouldn’t want to know.
How long did she think she’d get away with it? If she didn’t want me to find out, why’d she invite me over for dinner with her parents? Why did she even want me to think she was dying? I already gave her most of my attention, why did she need more?
I don’t know what to do anymore.
I got a text off Gerard the morning after I’d stayed in bed all day. It said – ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to break up with you. I’ve just got some things to sort out. Until then, are still gf +bf?’
I text back saying ‘Yes xx’
I don’t know why I gave in so easily. I just didn’t want a repeat of yesterday; it was one of my lowest moments. I nearly put a knife to my wrist. But I thought about what Ray would think if he saw, what all my friends would think and I thought about how Gerard or Charlie would re-act. Gerard would probably feel sorry for me and hopefully guilty. And Charlie would feel like she’d achieved something. I don’t like that girl. She does like Gerard more than friends, I’m sure of it.
Ray knocked on my door before peeping his head round “Are you in a better mood today?”
“Yeah,” I replied “Sorry about yesterday. I must’ve been a pain in the butt.”
“You kinda were,” Ray laughed “Want some chocolate cake?”
“Yes please!” I smiled like a four year old as Ray handed me the plate with a large slice on it. I took the fork off him and started eating.
Ray sat down next to me “So what were you so upset about yesterday?”
“It’s nothing, not anymore.” I told him, truthfully I guess “It’s been sorted out now.”
“Was it about Gerard?”
“Kind of,” I replied “Mainly Charlie I guess.”
“Don’t worry about Charlie,” Ray told me, walking back to the door “Gerard’s my best friend. He’d never like Charlie like he likes you.”
When Ray left and I’d finished my cake, I lay back on my bed. I started thinking. About all sorts of crazy things. They were cluttering up my mind.
I got a phone call off Gerard at about three in the afternoon “Hello?”
“Hi Charlie, we really need to talk.”
“Look Gerard, I know I said some stuff-“
“I think I’m picking Tatiana.”
I paused “Oh. Not that I care, I just wanna know why?”
“We’re really good friends.” Gerard reminded me “What if something went wrong and we never spoke again? I don’t want that to happen. And Tatiana was already my girlfriend. You kind of made it unfair, throwing that on me when I already had a girlfriend.”
“I do apologise your majesty.” I told him sarcastically “Don’t let me keep you from your precious girlfriend.”
I hung up and threw my phone angrily against the wall. “Shit.” I mumbled as it cracked. I ran to pick it up. But it was hopeless. I had broken my phone.
Deciding I didn’t care, I threw it against the wall again. And again and again. It felt like I was throwing Gerard against the wall. And for a while, it felt really good. It only stopped feeling so good when I threw my phone at the wall; it bounced back and hit me. I saw sense and stopped doing it.
I pulled out my Black Veil Brides CD, shoved it into my CD player and put it on really loud. I climbed onto my bed and started jumping on it “I don’t need Gerard friggin’ Way to be happy!” I screamed, listening to my voice booming around my bedroom with Andy’s “Screw you Gerard, I don’t need you!”
It worked until my CD ended and I had run out of energy. Then I sat down and started crying, hiding my face with my hands.