Once again I ended up in Hart's office. Damn.
I slowly walked back to my room, trying to wrap my mind around whatever had just happened in Hart’s office. She wanted me to be Gerard’s friend? At first I thought I had misheard her, but when I saw the expression on her face, I realized she was utterly and completely serious. I wasn’t sure what to do afterward so I quickly left.
I remembered what Mike had said, “Just be nice to him.” And now Hart was telling me to “be his friend”. I had no idea what was going on and I was sick of people hiding shit from me. But who was I supposed to look to for answers? The mute murderer? No. And it seemed like anyone who knew anything wouldn’t give me answers. It’s not like I had any friends around here that could help me. I was screwed.
As I was walking back to the room I heard Mike call after me. I stopped out of instinct then soon wished that I hadn’t. “How’s your roommate?” He breathed after catching up to me. I shrugged in reply and he frowned. “You’re… you were nice to him right?” I rolled my eyes and didn’t say anything, but continued on walking. Mike began to follow me. “Frank, I’m serious. Answer me. You didn’t hurt him, right?”
I scoffed. “Thanks, man. You’re more worried about me hurting him then him hurting me. Or killing me for that matter.” I spat, shooting a glare in his direction.
Mike’s eyes widened. “What are you talking about?” He shifted his weight from one foot to the other.
“Bullshit. As if you don’t’ know. Was that why you were against it? Did you worry that the fucking mental case in my room was going to stab me to death in my sleep? Or were you looking forward to it?! Huh? Why the fucking hell won’t anyone tell me what the fuck is going on?!” I screamed at him. Heads began poking out of doors as some people watched the scene.
“Frank, you have to understand. I can’t tell you because—I just can’t.”
“You just can’t?!” I replied in disbelief. Fuck it. I turned around and stormed away, yelling at everyone who was staring. “What the fucking hell are you looking at, asswipes?!”They quickly hid back in their rooms. I was sick of people telling me shit like, “Don’t freak out” when I had every reason to. I wanted to get away from all this, so I went into my room and slammed the door – I had obviously forgotten that the reason for all this was still in the room.
Gerard had stripped his bed of the sheet and blanket he had used the night before and stuffed it in the bag where the others were. The Scooby Doo blanket was gone, so I assumed he had put it in his suitcase again. He stared at me with those wide green eyes as if I were a monster that had come to kill him; How ironic. After I sat down on my bed, recognition filled his features and his expression softened.
There was a knock on the door and he jumped again. “Five minutes.” Mike said gruffly. Gerard glanced at me.
“We have time to go outside.” I explained, standing up and stretching. I could use some fresh air. I headed towards the door. “You comin’?” I glanced at Gerard, as I opened the door. He stared at me for a moment, then at the door. I rolled my eyes. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” I didn’t know why I was wasting my time with this guy. I just wanted to get outside and I knew that if I didn’t go soon, I’d end up getting out there once everyone came back in.
Finally he shoved his hands in his pockets and walked slowly to the door, not taking his eyes off of the ground. I sighed and let him out first, before closing the door behind me. We walked in silence to the back exit where Mike stood with his arms folded. He nodded at me briskly and I noticed him giving Gerard a pitying look. Mike never pitied anyone. He was the ‘take no shit’ guy and he was strict with even the worst patients – especially me. Maybe he was just that way with me, because I wasn’t crazy.
I noticed that Gerard was still following me, I turned around. “You can go wherever you want to, you know.” I pointed out, raising an eyebrow. “You don’t have to follow me.” I sighed, and turned around again. I continued walking and yet I still heard his footsteps behind me. Fuck. I spun around and he almost ran right into me. “Okay, let me re-do that. I don’t fucking want you to follow me. Get lost, man!”
Gerard’s wide eyes went to the ground and I walked away. So maybe that was a little harsh, but how else was he going to get the message?
Whenever we went outside, I went up and sat underneath this tall tree. The branches had been cut off just in case someone, like me, decided to climb it to get over the gates. I liked sitting there because it was a good place for me to think and I could see what all was going on around me. I sat down and leaned back against the tree. My eyes scanned the area.
Most of the guys outside had a supervisor with them, leading them around in circles as they stared into space. Some were in wheelchairs, with their arms raised as if they were reaching towards something that only they could see. Others were talking to the air, kind of like talking to an imaginary friend. I spotted Ray and Bob, they were sitting on the ground on a patch of grass where the sun shone down on them.
Ray was leaning on his elbows yapping on about something that probably made no sense at all, a huge grin on his face. Bob was sitting cross legged, picking at a blade of grass. He looked over his shoulder every now and then, suspiciously, as if he was expecting someone to have a camera on him.
Then there was Gerard. He was still standing in the spot I left him in. He jumped every time someone walked near him, and he had wrapped his arms around himself in some sort of hug. He was chewing on his lower lip and looked like he was shaking.
I couldn’t seem to stop my mind from wondering about him. What made him so special? Why did everyone want me to be nice to him? He was a killer, right? Last time I checked you weren’t supposed to feel sorry for killers – At least that’s what they used to say on television. Or had things changed in the past couple of years? I still wanted to know what Gerard’s story was, and I wanted someone to tell me the truth; and to stop hiding things from me.
I saw Ray get up and walk over to Gerard. He said something to him, with a smile on his face and motioned for him to come sit down next to him and Bob. Gerard looked skeptical for a moment, and his eyes scanned around the place – looking for me I assumed. Finally he shook his head. Ray shrugged and went back to where Bob sat and began talking again.
Gerard still stood there awkwardly, his hands shoved into his pockets, when a supervisor walked over to him. I hadn’t ever seen him before so I assumed he was the supervisor for another section of the place. He said something to Gerard and Gerard shook his head again, not making eye contact. He said something again and took a step closer, and once again Gerard shook his head. The supervisor was getting pissed and Gerard was getting scared.
I slowly got up from my spot under the tree. The supervisor said something, louder, to Gerard and Gerard flinched and backed away a bit, still shaking his head. The supervisor looked really fucking pissed now. He grabbed Gerard’s arm and yanked Gerard towards him. Gerard let out a yelp and tried pulling back.
The next few minutes went by so quickly, I can barely remember them – but I think they went something like this.
I got pissed. I ran over. Punched the supervisor, who shall now be named Douchebag, in the face. Gerard screamed again. Punched Douchebag in the face again. Gerard screamed. Again. Mike ran out with another supervisor. Other supervisor pulled me off Douchebag. Douchebag cradled his bloody nose and threw curse words at me. Mike and Supervisor took me and Gerard inside.
Once again I ended up in Hart’s office.
Kind of a shit chapter, I know. x