This couldn’t be happening.
I opened my eyes and squinted. I was in a white room and there was a bright light shining down on me. My head hurt and I felt too tired and weak to even move.
“Well, look who’s awake.” A female voice spoke up.
I looked up and saw Hart staring at me with a small smile on her face. I opened my mouth to say something like; “Where am I?” or “What the fuck are you doing here?” but all that came out was a ragged gargling sound that sounded nothing like me. I frowned and opened my mouth again but she shook her head.
“It’s the anesthetic.” She explained. “It will take a while for it to wear off.” She paused and continued to stare at me. “I’m sure it will please you to hear that Kevin Macomber is dead.” I blinked. “He was shot in the head.” She sighed, leaned back in the small metal chair and crossed her legs.
I searched my brain for the memories of last night. I remembered hitting the ground, a sharp pain in my side and head, and the loud sound of a gunshot. Oh, my God. “Mikey?” I whispered. Then my eyes widened. “Gerard?” My voice didn’t sound the same – it sounded like a dying croak.
She sighed again and ran her hand through her short blonde hair. “Mikey is fine. He used his cell-phone to call 911.” My heart began to race. “Gerard…” She looked down at her hands.
This couldn’t be happening.
Then things started to add up in my head.
Gerard had tried to tell me. Eric wasn’t there. Eric didn’t even exist. I wouldn’t listen. I was crazy. Gerard had knocked me down when Kevin had tried to shoot me. He had taken the bullet for me.
“Is he dead?” I whispered, hot tears started to fall down my face.
“No.” She looked up – her eyes glistening with tears. “He’s in the Intensive Care Unit. It doesn’t look good. It doesn’t look good at all. He’s got two bullets in him. They’re not sure whether or not they want to go ahead with the surgery. They’re afraid he’s too weak to make it – either way he probably won’t last the night.”
I went numb, and I felt as though my heart had been brutally ripped out of my chest. “I wanna see him.” I whispered.
“Frank, I don’t know if--”
“I want to see him. Now.” I said, my voice louder. I sat up, ignoring the way the room began to spin as I slowly got up off of the bed. I tried to get the I.V. out of my arm but my fingers didn’t seem to be working right. “Please.” I sighed, giving up with the clear tape that was holding the needle in my skin. “I just wanna see him.” I looked up at Hart; tears still falling down my cheeks.
She nodded and held my arm as I slowly got up off of the stiff hospital bed. I held onto the I.V tower with one hand and Hart’s arm with the other. She kept walking, the floor cold on my bare feet until we finally stopped. Mikey stood up and stared at me a minute before hugging me.
“He’s gonna die. I told him I hated him and now he’s gonna die. He’s all I have and now I’m gonna lose him.” He cried into my shoulder. I hugged him back.
“Where is he?” I asked quietly. Mikey took a step back and nodded to a bed.
I felt like my heart stopped beating.
Gerard was laying on the bed, his shirt off with gauze wrappings tied around his stomach. He was writhing and thrashing and his face was twisted into a grimace of pain. Two nurses had each of his arms pinned down while another tried to inject him with something – a sedative I assumed.
I slowly walked over to him and the nurses moved away after finally being able to get the needle in his arm. I grabbed a nearby chair and moved it to his bed. “Gee?” I spoke softly.
He coughed then looked at me. His face was covered in sweat and his hair was matted to his forehead and cheeks. His eyes were wide and full of tears. “Frankie…” He whispered but then it turned into a cough. His lips were stained red with something that I could only guess was blood. “Hurts…” He whispered.
I put my hand on his cold forehead. “I know… It’s gonna get better though.” I felt sick after saying that. I knew I had told him that so many times before and look where he was now – laying on a hospital bed; dying. I kissed his wet forehead then turned to Hart. “Why can’t they just do the surgery?”
She opened her mouth but then a doctor walked over. “Because, he has two bullets lodged in his abdomen.” Gerard coughed as if on cue and blood came out between his lips. I grabbed a tissue and dabbed at it, feeling heartbroken and disgusted. “There’s a 84 % chance that he won’t make it.”
Gerard let out a whimper that turned into another coughing spell. He gripped my hand tightly and gasped for air. A nurse came over and placed an oxygen mask over his nose and mouth. “What about the 16% that he will? Has anyone thought of that?”
The doctor sighed and looked down at his clipboard. We have no names for who can approve the surgery except for… Hart, Deanna.”
Hart’s eyes widened then she looked at Mikey. He shook his head. “I can’t…” He took a step back and covered his eyes with his hands.
Then she turned towards me. “It’s your call.” She said quietly.
I looked from her to the doctor. “Do it.”
The doctor sighed and nodded, turning away to speak to a nurse. “Let’s take him out and prep him.” She nodded and she and another nurse went and moved Gerard’s bed forward.
“Gee?” I whispered, he looked at me, still gripping my hand.
“I love you.”