Three years after leaving South Park, Stan returns for a visit, only to find that things have changed. Kyle and Cartman appear to be best friends. Can Stan convince Kyle that Cartman's faking? Spoi...
Note: I do not own South Park or any of its characters. Oh, and spoiler for You're Getting Old and probably future episodes. I hope Stan does come back but this is assuming he's been gone for three years.
The door to the arcade gave a haunted house creak as it slammed shut before that causing him to smile; he'd forgotten it did that. A quick glance and he saw that nothing else had really changed, even though three years had passed. His grin widened as his eyes alighted on a figure in a green hat. Walking over as quietly as possible, he waited until he was only inches away from the boy and then leapt forward, covering the boy's eyes with his hands.
"Hey!" The boy laughed, "Cartman, I- Stan!" Kyle exclaimed, turning around. "Hi, I didn't know you were back. It's good to see you again"
Stan felt a twinge of pain as he realized that Kyle's smile was the distant type that people usually gave to acquaintances. Shaking it off, he smiled back. " Yeah, I have the next two week off from school and Mom and I thought it would be cool to come back and see how things had changed."
"Cool." Kyle agreed. "So how long are you back for?"
"Just a couple of days." Stan hesitated. "Uh... do you wanna hang out or something? I mean-"
"Sure!" Kyle smiled. "We just have to wait for Cartman."
Stan narrowed his eyes. "Cartman?"
"Yeah, he's in the bathroom."
"Dude," Stan laughed, "Since when do you hang out with Cartman?"
Kyle frowned. "We've always hung out, remember? You, me, Kenny, and Cartman."
"Yeah, but just you and Cartman? Is Kenny here somewhere?" Stan glanced around but didn't see any sign of the orange parka or Kenny's blonde hair.
"Nope. He died this morning. It's just Cartman and I."
"Oh... why would you want to hang out with Cartman?"
"Because, he's my friend, Dude." Kyle sighed. "What is this, twenty questions?"
"No, it's just that...well, you two are always fighting and-"
"But, Dude... Cartman?"
"He's really not that bad a guy!"
"But he always rips on you for being Jewish and having red hair!"
"Not anymore; he's actually really nice now."
Stan sputtered. "Cartman? Nice?"
"He's changed, Stan." Kyle replied firmly.
"He's a psychopath!"
"Technically people can't be diagnosed as psychopaths until they're 18 years old."
"Hey, Kahl!" Came a laugh, causing both Stan and Kyle to look up. Stan was surprised to see that Cartman had lost some weight. "Guess what I just-" Cartman's eyes widened as he got closer. But the look of surprise only lasted a second. "Oh, Stan! I didn't know you were back! How very nice to see you!" Cartman asked in a sickeningly sweet tone.
"Oh, please, Cartman. We all know you don't mean that." Stan snapped.
"Dude!" Kyle shouted.
"Whatever do you mean?" Cartman asked, eyes wide. "Of course I mean that; we were friends Stan, don't you remember?" He gave a sniff.
"Come on, Kyle, we both know he's faking!" Stan pleaded.
"He's changed Stan." Kyle repeated.
Cartman nodded. "He's right. I know I wasn't always the nicest to you guys, but you really mean a lot to me. I'm sorry about all the times I was mean. Will you forgive me?"
"He's tried to commit genocide multiple times! He made a guy eat his parents! Guys like him don't change! Don't you remember the time he had Cthulhu send us to a parallel universe?"
"I-I know but, Stan," Kyle glanced away and then back before continuing in a pleading tone. " But he's really nice now. Don't you think everyone should have a second chance?"
"I-" He looked into Kyle's eyes and realized that it was no use trying to reason with him. He sighed. "Okay."
Kyle beamed. "Great. Now, lets go. Cartman and I were just about to go see that new Terrance and...oh..." He trailed off unsure.
Stan gave a reassuring. "Oh, it's alright dude. Turns out it was just a phase I was going through."
"Really?" Kyle asked suspiciously.
"Yeah! But I totally grew out of it!" It had actually taken almost a year of hypnotherapy but he could tell Kyle that later.
"Cool, so you wanna go?"
"Come on Kyle," Cartman interrupted, "I'm sure Stan wants to get settled in."
"No!" Stan growled. "I want to go to the movies!"
"Dude!" Kyle exclaimed. "Cartman was just-"
Kyle was interrupted by Cartman who merely smiled and said. "That's great, Stan."
Kyle looked like he was about to say something else but appeared to decide against it. "Okay. Let's get going." He led the way out the door.
Stan was about to follow him when Cartman put a hand on his shoulder. "Stan? I know it's hard to believe, but Kyle and I are friends now."
"Whatever, Cartman. I'll believe it when I see it." Stan shrugged the boys hand off his shoulder and exited the building.
"Yes you will, you friendship-crashing asshole." Cartman whispered to himself, once Stan was out of hearing range. "And if you try to steal Kyle from me, I'll kill you.