Gerard's thoughts about finding out he has terminal cancer. Rated for language. ONESHOT.
Cancer. Of all the damn illnesses in the world he had to get cancer. Many people might say that it was inevitable the amount of cigarettes, or cancer sticks as many people called them, that he smoked. But damn it, if he was gonna get cancer surely he would of got it back when they started out? When he had a drink and drugs problem?
Cancer. It was one of those words that no many how many times it was said it would always sound alien. But worse than that? Terminal. Terminal fucking cancer. He was gonna die.
He wasn't afraid of death, no; the entire 'Black Parade.' album had proved that. But what he was afraid of, was not knowing what day would be his last. Not knowing if he would never see his daughter, his wife, his band mates, his friends, his family or hell even his fans again.
Fuck. This news would break all of those people's hearts. But he couldn't change it, there was nothing he could do. 34 years old, in a world famous band that had released 4 albums that had sold millions of copies and still were selling, and he'd had guns to his head, he'd attempted suicide, he'd had a drink problem, a drug addiction and it was going to be cancer that fucking killed him in the end.
The doctors were unsure of how long he had left; and it was this that made Gerard decide to start work on a new album. So what if Danger Days had just came out; he wanted one last album under his belt before he was taken, rather unfairly in his opinion, away from his fantastic life.
But what to write it about? He had already decided it was going to be My Chemical Romance's most positive, up beat, happy album to date. He wanted to be remembered for something more than the gothic-emoish lead singer of an emo band. He wanted to be remembered for changing the world. For getting out there and fucking up everyone's view of each other and the things around them.
Another thing he had decided, he was going to tour the world and meet every single fan, and every single MCRmy member. He had saved their lives, and they had all saved his so many times. He remembered the MCRmy protests in London when the Daily Mail had fuelled parents with that utter bullshit about the band, and the way every single fan in the world had no doubt chanted the phrase "Fuck the Daily Mail." even if they hadn't been at that concert.
Then he thought if the most recent tour, and the idiot in the front row. Gerard remembered the way the crowd cheered as he said, "This guy clearly didn't get the memo; if you don't like My Chemical Romance you wait outside for your girlfriend!" and then the way they laughed when he went on to call the guy cute and talk about the kids nipple.
Then his thoughts turned to his wife, his child, his band mates and even his former band mate Bob Bryar. Bob had left the band by mutual agreement; where as Matt had left by force. Bob was sweet and caring even if he seemed slightly scary. Gerard knew this news would also upset Bob.
Mikey was his main concern. Yes, Gerard had a wife, a child and other friends and family but fuck it he grew up with Mikey. That kid wasn't just his little brother; Mikey was his best friend. They'd always been close and Gerard knew that this was going to hit Mikey hardest. At first Mikey might think it was a sick joke but then he'd realise and he would be scared. Gerard had always been there for him, and Gerard never wanted to leave Mikey; ever.
Cancer. It was a life ruiner. No one ever wanted to have a doctor tell them they had it. Gerard never thought it would happen to him; fuck it, who does? No one ever expects to be told, "You have cancer." But if you were told that; damn could it fuck up your life.