Jared Leto was her rush of adrenaline when everything else turned dull.
June 2th, 2006
"God dammit, Mandy! I will not take the fucking dog out for a walk tonight!" Gabriel screamed. A big pulsating vein appeared on his forehead as he spat the words at me.
Gabriel always looked the ugliest when he was angry. Tomato-red face, a clenched jaw and narrow eyes. Yup, that's Gabriel in a nutshell.
I slumped down on our newly purchased brown suede chair. My back lying like a plank over the armrests. My right arm hung down to let the tips of my fingers brush against the wooden floor in our living room.
The other one rested on the backrest.
A couple of my wild curls blew in front of my face, but I did not care to remove them. I tried looking inviting and sexy. Willing to fuck him to somehow calm him down.
Gabriel didn't seem to notice my efforts as he kept on yelling like he was a damn commentator from those silly games of soccer.
One funny thing was how he used his hands to gesture and prove his point. His big palms waved around in the air like paddles.
"I just got home from work and you have only sat here on your fat ass all day long!" he yelled.
The room seemed to vibrate with the anger flowing in the air like electric shocks.
That wasn't true. Only because I don't have a job it doesn't mean that I sit around doing nothing every day.
Had he managed to miss the fact that I was the one cooking his food? And that I in fact had spent an hour trying to iron his mountains of suits and clothes earlier today.
Well, at least I had tried to. Hopefully Gabriel wouldn't notice the hole on the back of a sweater he just bought.
How the hell am I supposed to know that you can't iron a polyester garment on maximum heat?
If we go back to the laziness he was accusing me of, that was simply bullshit. And to be honest, it hurt.
Gabriel knows that I don't have much education. Without education these days you can't seem to get even the shittest of jobs. School was never the place for me.
My dreams have never consisted of sitting in a cubicle from 9 to 5 though. That's just a waste of life.
I want to be a painter. Making pictures appear on empty canvases is what makes me feel complete.
Gabriel never understood that. He doesn't see it as a job but rather a hobby.
I can't call what Gabriel does every day a job either. It's more like self-torture, according to me. Who would honestly want to sit in one meeting after another to discuss the economy from morning to night, Monday to Friday?
When I met Gabriel three years ago he was nothing like he is today. He used to be a chill guy with a long beard and a laugh glued to his mouth.
Now he has shaved the beard off and slicks his hair back every morning with tons of styling gel. Gabriel seldom smiles anymore.
I guess the job has sucked the fun out of him.
Not even our love-making is the same anymore. We only get down and dirty on special occasions and then it's just for a minute or two.
One time he even answered a call and rolled off me as we were fucking. Yeah, the phone should not be the top priority for a man if he has a naked woman underneath him. Just saying.
I let my eyes sweep over the wall to my right which was covered by a huge bookshelf. Placed on the shelves stood Gabriel's books about economy and leadership, my favourite romantic novels and old pictures of us in pretty frames.
Pictures when we were hugging and smiling. It seemed like those pictures had been taken in a past life.
"Gabriel, I'm tired," I moaned softly. If he had been fuming before, he exploded now.
Gabriel grabbed a vase standing on top of our TV and threw it on the ground. It broke with a loud crunching sound and the shards flew around everywhere in the room.
Our golden retriever Sally whimpered and ran out of the living room with her tail between her legs. She pattered as silently as she possibly could on her big paws since she didn't want to attract any attention from her master.
It didn't quite work out for her though since her claws were unclipped and clicked against the floor. I looked at her and caught a glimpse of her sad brown eyes before she lumbered out of sight.
Sally hated when we were fighting.
We had gotten Sally as a compromise. Gabriel wanted to have babies. I didn't.
So we simply agreed on getting a dog until I was ready for the baby thing.
I'm not ready though. Especially not now when my relationship with Gabriel is so rocky. I don't know if he might lash out on our children one day and that would be devastating.
Honestly, I don't want kids because they would be holding me down too. I'd be tied to them. This house. Gabriel.
I don't want that.
I stared at Gabriel in shock, my green eyes wide in terror. Gabriel had gone way too far when he threw the vase. I had to admit that I was pretty damn scared.
"Grow up, Mandy!" Gabriel yelled and his voice rumbled like thunder.
I shot up to my feet and frowned. He was telling me to grow up when he just had thrown a vase on the ground? Well, that's very mature.
"Fine! I'll take Sally out for a walk. I'm not doing it for you, but for Sally!" I screeched. My voice came out cracked and sounding like a mouse getting squashed.
Gabriel's nostrils got larger when he inhaled deeply and stormed upstairs. The sound of his fancy shoes banging against the steps soon ebbed out. He was probably going to take a shower and go to sleep.
I sighed sadly and raked my fingers through my wild curly hair and looked at the mess Gabriel had made. Shards of glass in different colours from my, favourite, vase laid like a dangerous cover on the floor.
I was probably the one that would have to clean it up later.
I heard the clicking against the floor and saw Sally standing in the doorway. She had probably dared to get back into the living room because Gabriel was gone.
She started swaying her hairy tail from side to side when she saw me standing there, alone.
Sally started walking towards me, still with her tail waving like a golden flag in the air. I gasped.
"No, Sally! Don't go in here!" I said and grabbed her purple collar to drag her out of the living room. I didn't want her to step on a piece of glass and get it stuck in her delicate paw.
I had my back bent as I continued to grab the collar and lead her to the hallway. She now knew what was going to come and yapped happily.
Her big mouth opened and she stuck her long pink tongue out. Sally couldn't manage to stand still and therefore spun around in bliss.
She loved to go outside.
I smiled and grabbed the leash hanging on a hanger right next to my threadbare leather jacket. It had been black once upon a time, now it was more gray than black.
Even if it was mostly just trash I slid my arms into it. Then let my small feet slip into a pair of brown Uggs.
I was only wearing a pair of sweatpants, a pink monk jacket, the Uggs and the leather jacket. I couldn't really go and change into something more presentable since that meant that I had to go upstairs and search the wardrobe in our bedroom.
Seeing Gabriel again this early wasn't an appealing thought at all. He needed at least an hour to calm down.
Shabby clothes would have to do.
I fastened the leash to Sally's collar and we went outside, slamming the door shut behind us.
The golden retriever immediately started hanging in the leash as she pulled for all that she was worth to the right. She sure knew where she wanted to go.
Sally was heading for the dog park.
I decided to let Sally go there. It was also much easier than to go for a long walk. You just removed the leash and let the dog exercise itself.
We walked quickly towards the park, mostly because Sally was panting and pulling like a mad man to get there as soon as humanly, or dogly, possible.
When we got there Sally let out a wow of happiness. She scratched the gate with her front paws as I opened it.
I then closed it behind us again and scanned the park. There were only six other dogs running around like maniacs there, plus their owners.
The park was filled with benches, a small pound and lots of trees for the dogs to abuse with their pee.
I removed the leash and Sally took off like a bullet. Her small legs moved so fast that it looked like she was running through the air.
She immediately found a small terrier to befriend and play with.
I wrapped the leash around my hand to not lose it and took a stroll through the park before I found an empty bench to sit on.
The sun was on its way down since it was evening. I closed my eyes and hummed. The air was still quite warm. Summer in the United States is great when the weather is good.
When I opened my eyes again after a minute or two I couldn't find Sally with my eyes. Where the hell was she?
My eyes scanned the area and I saw a big white dog and underneath it tufts of golden fur. Sally's fur!
I stood up on my feet and came running towards the white asshole of a dog.
"Hey! Let her go!" I shrieked towards the white dog with a pair of bright blue eyes who was... humping Sally. I was disgusted by that and started looking for the perverted dog's owner.
The white dog had its two forelegs wrapped around Sally's neck and he went for it. It looked like two bunnies doing it.
I didn't know Sally was such a sexual creature. Honestly, I envied her.
There was only one man standing close by, so I assumed that he was the dog's owner.
I had to confront him.
"That dog of yours is humping mine, Sir!" I spat venomously. He looked at me and raised his left eyebrow. His eyes were actually the same blue colour as his dog's. Beautiful.
He let a smirk play on his lips. "I can see that."
I recognized his face. He was Jared Leto, singer in 30 Seconds To Mars and a well-known actor. That didn't make his dog's behaviour even a tad more acceptable though.
I crossed my arms over my chest.
"Do something about it!" I said sternly.
Jared turned to his dog.
"Judas... Judas, come here," he said without really meaning it. Of course the white dog didn't even react. The corners of my lips twitched.
He was quite funny.
"I don't think they want to stop," Jared said with amusement dancing in his blue eyes. I rolled my eyes dramatically.
We stood there, side by side, for a while and simply waited to the dogs to... stop. They sure were persistent as it took a good amount of time before the white dog, Judas, climbed off Sally's back.
On stiff legs I made my way to her and dug my fingers into her fluffy golden coat of fur, forcing her to look at me by pulling her head up.
"Bad girl!" I scolded and put the leash back on. She whimpered softly and opened her mouth to reveal her teeth. Was she grinning?
Anyways, it was time to head back home.
"Don't worry about puppies. Judas is castrated," Jared called out as me and Sally were walking towards the gate to get out of the park.
I turned around and smiled as a 'good bye'.
The thing with Jared and our horny dogs had made me forget about Gabriel for a moment. Now it all came back to me.
I really didn't want to talk to him. Not tonight.
As we entered the front door to our house I tip-toed to the living room and started scooping the shards of glass up in a scoop.
Since I didn't hear a single sound coming from the upper floor I figured that Gabriel had fallen asleep. What a relief.
When I was done cleaning, I laid down on the sofa. Because there was no way that I would go upstairs and sleep next to Gabriel.