Kiss your husband goodnight.
-Jennifer,Jane and Katherine
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY ITS THE MOTHERFUCKING WEDDING CHAPTER HOLY FUCK
Sorry.I actually hate weddings,but I like writing about them.
1.You get to describe suits in vast detail.That equals an epic win above all other epic wins.
3.There are prayers,and where prayers be I come to the rescue,thanks to my amazing Catholic schooling.It's a bird,it's a plane,no it's super Lorna!Able to recite Latin mantras faster than a speeding pedophile priest!Able to jump altars in a single bound!
So,most of it I know from school but some I kinda fucked up so I used Google translate.That's as good an idea as writing guy-smut when you're eating vanilla yogurt.
Only awesome people will get that joke.If you do,I deem you a sexy bitch with damn good humor.
5.It gives me an excuse to make Ray even more gay,with all the crying and romance and commitment et cetera.
6.Everyone knows gay weddings pwn normal weddings.Even gangsta ones in the thirties.
7.I'm pretty sure they still got wasted at the after party,even back in the day.
8.Did I mention food?
9.No?Oh well,the wasted thing is happening here.
10.That also means smut in the next chapter.Can I get a "FUCK YES!"?
Yes,there's gonna be full-on sex between two men in the next chapter.If you don't like that,why the fuck would you fucking read it?
Another question I got today;anonymous,as always:
"u like clascal music that sux"
Well,I don't know about "clascal" music,but there's a thing in the English language called classical music.And it rips the shit,man.I fucking love classical music.
Anyway,on with the ceremony.Get out your handkerchiefs to dab at your smoldering brown's,people,there is gonna be a shiteload of fluff.
That's probably the collective noun.Y'know,a pride of lions,a swarm of bees,a shiteload of fluff.Others include a scream of fangirls,a groan of haters and an awesome of fan fic writers.
You see what I did there?
Lorna's Inner Adult:*puts down pen and sighs* Yes Lorna,we all saw that.
Song is from the Almighty.You should know by now who that it is.
No,it is not My Chem.
Starts with a radio and ends in head,okay its Radiohead people,
btw,this is in the form of the Tridentine Mass form but I really doubt ye care
and before you bombard me with "but they're gay why are they strict Catholics?" I just want to say that "but you don't like my story why are you commenting on it?"I have said before that thats the way its gonna be,people.They're gay and Catholic and thats the way its just gonna be.live it,fear it,embrace it,do whatever the hell you want with it but review it.
and I rarely write about happiness.So count yourselves lucky,this is a very rare occasion,bitches.
First of the Gang to Die
House of Cards
"Fuck,Ray,"Frank whispered as the tall Puerto Rican did up the buttons of his waistcoat,"fuck me,I'm so fucking nervous."
"I think if anyone but Gerard did that,they would cease to exist."
"Shut your face,Bob,"ordered Ray,pinning back folds of extra material around Frank's waist,"and relax,Frank.You'll be fine once you get out there.This is gonna be the best day of your life,swear ta God."
"Is there a lot of people out there?"Frank asked nervously,finding it hard to breathe in the tight suit.Ray had stuck pins and assorted metal restraints randomly into his clothing so that snugly he felt his bellybutton might fall out his ass.
If you don't review for anything else,review for that fucking line.
"Lemme check,"Bob said,taking a bite out of the donut he was currently holding and sweeping back the curtain of the tent."Yeah.Loads."
Frank let out a shaky whimper,and fidgeted.
"Like,I would say about two hundred.Two hundred and fifty if you count the clergy.And fuck,how many people are still left to come?It's only five thirty now-"
"Bob,shut up.Frank,stop moving,"Ray ordered,feeling like a mother."God help me if you fucking stain that tux,Bryar,after all I've done to it."
"You,like,ironed it.I coulda done that in my goddamned sleep."
"I-oh-oh-excuse me!You wouldn't know a iron if it hit you in the face.Now put that circle of high cholesterol away and get Frank's jacket."
"I think Rico has it.Y'know,the stylist."He rolled his eyes."With the smoldering brown eyes."
Bob cackled and ran out of the tent.Ray was now tightening Frank's collar,propping it up.
(pop da colla)
"It was starched this morning,"Ray informed Frank,"so it should stay up throughout the rest of the day.If it gets too uncomfortable,just open the top button."
"Okay.And,uh,"Frank cleared his throat,"thanks for all the help,Ray.And Bob too.You guys are pretty cool."
"No problem,kid,"Ray replied,smiling,"we volatile outlaws ain't so bad once you get to know us.And you're pretty decent yourself."
"Are there really a lot of people out there?"He was very pale now,and quivering."Hundreds?"
the picture I have in my head is like the I Don't Love You vid/Pirates of the Caribbean wedding bit
Ray walked over to the flap and lifted it up.Yes,there really were a lot of people;maybe not hundreds,but plenty.Most of the black chairs,adorned with red roses,were already occupied,although there were a few at the back still empty.The day was dark but simultaneously bright-it was still January,after all.Everyone wore black,not out of sorrow but of family unity,of conformity.Gerard was standing up at the top,near the altar-also covered in charcoal candles and flowers-his back to Ray,arms linked in front of him.
"Not that many,"Ray shrugged."But just act like they ain't there.Like it's just you and him."
"But there's so many people,"Frank still insisted,"I can't kiss him with them there!"
Ray was caught off guard momentarily.This would be the first time he would ever see his hardcore,tough as nails Mafia leading boss kiss Frank.Any other public display of affection was a brush of the hand or a murmur of admiration-never actual kissing.He found it weird to imagine Gerard Way actually kissing someone.
I'm like that as well-once my dad kissed my stepmom in front of me and I was like "AAAHHH KILL IT WITH FIRE"
"Just forget em,"Ray advised,grabbing the jacket from the incoming Bob and signalling him to hush,"this is your day,not theirs.You're marrying the person you love,that's all that matters.They shouldn't affect what you or he does;do whatever you want,they just came along to watch."
Silence followed Ray's advise.Then:
"Jesus.Deep,Toro.Christa must be proud."
Ray rolled his eyes and handed the jacket to Frank,who shrugged it over his shoulders.
"Do I look...okay?"He held out his arms like a scarecrow,biting his lip.
"Can't really see you that well,Frank,the mirror is blocking you."
"Bob,shut the fuck up.Frank,you look lovely."
Frank peered at himself in the mirror,sliding his hands down his sides,slightly impressed.The entire suit was deep charcoal,with a plain white shirt,a matching black waistcoat and tie.He felt compressed in upon himself,like someone was hugging him around the abdomen tightly.Nonetheless he liked whatever paint Christa had applied to his face-he was paler now,and his eyes were highlighted by a black circle around them.Someone had fucked with his lips too,and his neck,and his ears-Christ,the girl had attacked him all over.Not surprising really,he had sat there for well over an hour,fidgeting and blinking crazily,deaf to Christa's nagging.
But he liked it.A lot.It got rid of all the small blemishes and flaws on his chubby cheeks.Make up is strange;it modifies your body in ways so that you become more acceptable in society.
He was excited and delighted and ecstatic at the same time;his stomach was churning and flipping at the thought that he was getting married;in less than an hour he would be up at an altar,pledging to love and cherish a man he had met barely two months before-but nonetheless,he couldn't wait to spend an eternity loving and cherishing.
He felt himself grin like an idiot when that was played in his mind.
He nearly jumped a foot in the air when two arms swathed his waist,and he felt dull heat radiating his back,even though he was well aware who the bearer was.
"Hello,"Gerard drawled into Frank's chocolate tufts,lacing his finger together over the shorter's waist,peering into the mirror with the boy,"how are we doing?"
"Good,"he stammered back,wanting to sink into his arms."Nervous."
"You look so beautiful,"Gerard murmured in his ear."So...beautiful."
"Thank you,"Frank returned."You look lovely too."
He noticed the hands that ran around him were less bejeweled and genuinely lighter.Only a thick gold bracelet hung from Gerard's wrist.As for the suit,it was essentially the same as Frank's;and his hair was neater,patted down.He looked mind-blowing.
"Baby,you're just so precious,"he continued,hot breath ruffling Frank's hair,"I can't wait for you to be mine."
"Tonight?"Frank tried to make his voice sound as least desperate as possible.
"Tonight,"Gerard confirmed huskily,pressing two fingers into the plump of Frank's side,the boy letting out a surprised,shaky moan.
"Do we,uh,have to go out yet?"
"We can go out whenever we want,"Gerard hummed."The ceremony is starting in fifteen minutes,but we can delay.Fashionably late and all that."
Frank felt something poke him in the high of his thigh.He knew that nudging obstruction all too well.
"Why are you carrying your gun?Are you gonna sh-shoot someone?"
"In case anyone tries to start something,"Gerard replied smoothly,grazing his lips on Frank's ear,"I'll be ready."
"What do you muh-mean?"A wedding with guns.How retro.Frank was beginning to shake."Will people sh-shoot at us?"
"Nah,baby,just standard procedure,"he slid his hands into Frank's front pockets,distracting the boy,and nestling his chin in the crook of his shoulder."You don't need to worry about it."
"Not at all.You're meant to enjoy today."He dug his fingernails into Frank's leg like the claws of a cat,and the latter let out a faltering sigh."We're getting married,baby.Everyone's gonna have guns because that's what we do.Protection."
"Everyone.The women,the clergy,even the choir.So if someone even tries to threaten,they'll have about one hundred and fifty barrels to answer to."
"Do I have to have one?"
He chuckled lightly."Honey,who do you think we're trying to protect here?"
Frank did a double take and turned around,resting his hands on Gerard's chest,who propped up his elbows.
"For me?"His eyes glittered with dew."You're all doing this for me?"
"Of course,"was the definite answer."Hardly gonna be worrying over me,are they?"
"Thank you,"Frank gushed,standing up on his toes to plant a kiss on Gerard's cheek,"that was nice of you."
"I didn't do anything,sweetie,people just know you're a practicing pacifist and they wanna look out for you.Bob nearly plugged someone full of lead when some guy lingered toward this tent."
"Who was it?!A Romano?!"
"It was actually Ray,"Gerard sniggered,"who flipped a shit when Bob started screaming at him."
"Oh,"Frank returned,touched that ruthless murderers were carrying deadly weapons,ready to jump someone at matrimony,just because he wasn't so fond of playing with guns."Really?"
"Really really,"Gerard affirmed."And don't make sure you don't cry until the very end,sugar,or Christa will destroy you.And I know the coat is tight,but try not to pant too much,"he smiled smugly,trailing his fingers down Frank's jaw,"until tonight."
The boy blushed at the innuendo.The elder flashed his teeth.
"I will leave you for some moments now,"he informed him,"to gather your thoughts.You can come out when you're ready."He cleared his throat.
"Okay."Gerard turned to leave."And...Gerard?"
"I...uh...I love you."
Gerard grinned."We wouldn't be doing this if you didn't."
welcome to the Catholic fest.This is my third language,after Irish and English.I'm not fluent at it,because I don't think Latin is the sorta language that you can be fluent at,mainly because it's made up of phrases and idioms as such,but I can speak it fairly well.It was compulsory at my secondary school for three years and in primary and secondary I had to learn prayers in it.As well as that,I took my Leaving Cert (Irish equivalent to the SATS/GCSE's,or basically the exam you do in your final year of high school,that gets you into college) early,I took it when I was sixteen,and then I like did a gap year and stuff...but basically I had to do an extra subject because I was too young at the time,so I took Classical Studies-do NOT do it,it's all Shakespeare and Latin shit-so this is the fruit of my labours.If you can't understand it,Google translate it,although I can't guarantee it'll be perfect because:
1.As I have previously said,my Latin isn't Bible-standard
2.Let's face it,Google translate is able to piss you off in 64 different languages.
There you are.Who knew fan fiction writers actually have lives?
"Gerard,"the Priest began,"tuum Frank legitimum maritum sumis,habendum et tenendum,ab hac die et deinceps melius,peius quia est something*,quia pauperes,in aegritudine et sanitate,an pars ad usque mortem?"
*the reason I said something was because I can't remember what "for richer" was,so you'll have to settle for "est something"
"Facio,"was the answer.
Frank dared to raise his eyes to Gerard's,the electrifying beryl orbs staring into his soul.He shuffled uncomfortably.
The minister carried out,droning in that dead language,with Frank answering with that simple,yet complex "facio."Gerard was calm,collected,and kept,smiling at Frank when everyone else was bent down in prayer,when the priest would be muttering verses of the Book.Frank noticed that only he had been made to "obtemperare" and "seviam"-that Gerard did not have to recite the vow.He was surprised at how much he liked this fact.
The service took a small interval while the priest went down the aisle to fetch the rings.He bumped against Frank's chest and Gerard let out a small growl,his brow knitting together in stern disapproval.Frank saw Christa's-in the front row-hand fly to her thigh,where her garter stored a small pistol.Gerard jerked his head and and her hand fell back into her lap.Frank let out a small squeak of anxiety.
Gerard took Frank's hand in his,encircling the side of his hand with the pad of his thumb,pulling him closer toward himself.
"Don't be scared,"he murmured in a low voice that Frank knew was only for him,tucking a lock of cocoa behind the boy's ear.He pressed his hand into Frank's side,steadying the kid,making him arch into the touch."Only a few minutes more,honey."
Meanwhile,the guests were shocked.All of them,except children under twelve,were hit men and women,who stored their weapons in their garters,purses,shirt pockets,belts and even missals.This was the man they looked up to,the head of the gang,deemed the most callous killer in the Way family,let alone the generation.He had maimed,killed,burned,tortured,abused,agonized,bombed,shot,stabbed,fatally injured,executed,drowned-you name it,the bastard had probably done it.And yet here he was,in consternation over this sensitive,shaky rabbit of a boy.
Ray,for one,was impressed.Christa was currently cooing and awwing over the couple,her head tilted on her husband's shoulder.She always cried at weddings.
Not just weddings.Funerals.Christenings.Assorted family parties.If there's cake there,Christa will cry.
What a good life motto.I'd like to get tattooed across my forehead.
Ray also was becoming quite emotional.The way Gerard touched Frank,spoke to him,comforted him-it showed that he really loved.Then he felt a small tug on his jacket sleeve.It was Christa,tears brimming.He held out a handkerchief,which she took gratefully,dabbing underneath her spectacles.
I've only seen a few photos of Christa,and in some she has glasses,in others she doesn't.I'm making her have them.And Alicia and Frank don't have tattoos.And Gerard is a complete hard ass.I really should have alerted you of this in the beginning.
By now,the Priest had returned with a black embroidered pillow,with two gold rings sitting in the middle.
"Responsum e amen,"was told.The congregation nodded in recognition.
"Dominus benedicat illis annulis cui benedicimus in nomine tuo,concede eis qui utetur,ut semper profunda fidei in se invicem.Ut faciant uobis semper et ad convivendum in pace et voluntate et amore.Per Christum Dominum nostrum."
"May his annuli symbolum verae fidei in se,et admoneat semper affectum.Per Christum Dominum nostrum."
"Forgot what "may" is as well
The priest nodded at Gerard,who carefully picked up one of the gold bands.He held out Frank's hand,and slid the ring up an outstretched finger.
"Frank,"he said,"hunc anulum in signum meum amorem et fidem.In nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritus Sancti."
Frank gazed at the gold through increasingly heavy lashes,as he felt tears rolling down his cheeks and into his collar.His eye kohl would run but he didn't even think of it.Happiness surged through his veins,making his mouth curve up at the edges.His front tooth found it's way to dig into his bottom lip,in that innocent gesture that Gerard adored so much.
Frank picked up the larger of the two rings and positioned it between his thumb and fore finger,careful not to drop it.He repeated the same bereft words as Gerard,the band fitting a slightly mangled finger snugly.When he was done they both looked to the priest expectantly.
"Et vos recitari in domo Domini et in beata concordia iunctis nunc.Matrimonium comprobatur Patris et Filii et Spiritus Sancti."
Gerard smirked as the congregation muttered their faith and crossed themselves.He pulled Frank to himself and softly pressed his mouth to the boy's pout.
The churchgoers now clapped and whooped as they remained locked to each other.The kiss remained soft and sweet,with it ending shortly after fifteen seconds.
"C'mon!"Bob yelled from the fornt row,his fourthcoming statement earning peels of laughter."Make out already!"
Frank giggled as Gerard crashed his lips to Iero's again,giving Robert the finger.Even the choir laughed good-naturedly.
"I love you,"Gerard breathed into Frank's mouth.
"We wouldn't be doing this if you didn't."
Next chapter:Smut.Sing it,mah pervilicious sisters!(and brothers?)