Show me how to lie, you're getting better every time.
''FOR FUCKS SAKE FRANK! WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GET A GRIP?'' I stumbled out the living room, into the hallway and slammed the door. I was used to the whole speech on life and shit. It used to get to me a lot, now it's plain boring. To be quite honest, I don't have a clue about the future; nor do I give a flying fuck. I doubt I'm going to make it to thirty. I ran outside, and didn't even bother to close the door. I saw my mother out of the corner of my eye, she was angrier than I had seen her in a long time. I still live at home with my parents, but they disapprove of everything I do. They hate all my tattoos, they hate my piercings, they hate my make-up, they hate my clothes, they hate my attitude, and I'm pretty sure that they hate me.
I wandered down the lane, feeling extremely pissed off. I don't remember a time when i wasn't angry, and felt happy. I never feel happy. Not in this shit hole of a village. It's the summer holidays, and no one my age lives in this village. I walked for about half an hour, and ended up at the train station. I wanted to get as far away as possible, but i settled for the town centre. As i got on the train, i saw some of the jocks from my school. The train started to move. I'm a real outcast, i have barely any friends, and it fucking sucks. I groaned as they began to shout their low moronic taunts at me.
''HEY, oh look its FRANK the FAG!'' one of them shouted. ''GO HOME, FUDGE-PACKER!''
I did my best to ignore them; to hide the tears in my eyes. I got off the train again as soon as it stopped, although i had no idea which station I was at. As soon as I stepped off the train, I started running. Away from my pathetic life, from reality. I had no idea what direction I was running in, all I knew was that I never wanted to stop. After about 30 minutes my chest felt like it was about to burst, so I had to stop running. I gazed in awe, taking in my surroundings.
I was standing in the middle of a small lane. There were tall trees lining the edges of the lane, and their branches were thick with green leaves. I had never seen this place in my life. I looked up at the sky; it must have been the early evening as the sun was pretty low. There were thin, wispy clouds drifting by, and I tried to make shapes from them, but I couldn't see anything in them. My mind was too concentrated on other shit.
I looked around, but all I could see was trees, rows of them. I slumped down against a tree, wondering where the fuck I was.
I don't know how long i sat and stared into space, but when i shook myself back into reality it was pitch black. Fuck, I thought. Mom and Dad would be worried. HA! Who am I kidding? As if they would even notice i was gone. I reached into the pocket of my hoodie, and brought out the razor sharp blade I kept hidden inside. Slowly, I pulled my sleeve back on my left arm, revealing hundreds of scars. I gently ran my fingers over them, reliving each memory one by one. I hadn't done this in a while, I stopped for about 2 months. No one knew, i didn't have anyone that i could trust enough to tell about my problems.
I ran my finger up from one end of the razor to another, feeling the cold steel blade. I held the blade close to my wrist. Could I do this? Of course you can Frank, you weak bastard. Nothing stopped you before. Remember how good it felt, the harsh metal ripping through your soft flesh? Fuck, that voice in my head was right. Of course i could do this. I dragged the razor in a neat line across my vein, from my forearm to my wrist. I bit my lip to stop myself from screaming. You're such a disappointment, Frank. I did it again, only deeper this time. Fuck you, Frank. I did it over and over again in a rage, forgetting about the pain. I just screamed from anger and pushed the blade through my skin more and more. Suddenly I felt myself weaken, and I dropped the blade. I simply sat, panting, looking at the mess I had made of my arm. It was much worse than what i'd ever done before; the blood was pouring down. I pulled my knees up into my chest, and sat sobbing until I finally fell into a deep, dark, and uneasy sleep.