While the guys are at home planning something happens among Delilah and her friends.
I got into the truck after Bob was in. The wind was giving me chills and I gripped my jacket tighter around me as Bob started the engine. As much as I hated the heat in this stupid desert town I also hated the blistering cold we got during December and January, it was just too drastic of a change.
"So what does Miranda need so badly?" Bob asked as we drove out of the apartment parking lot and onto the street leading to Miranda's house.
It was a good question that I honestly couldn't answer. When she called me she just went on and on about her bunny Billie Joe and her puppy Matt. I couldn't understand the jibberish but she sounded as if it was a life threatening moment for her and not her animals. But being her best friend, and missing her so much, I couldn't say no.
The last time I had seen her was when I went to Robin's house in Niland, the small town 10 miles from Calipat, with her and Arienane. That was before New Year's Eve, before Gerard had.... happily taken me for himself. The only contact I had with them was through phone and I hated it being that way, they were my best friends, the girls that saved me from the brink. I was just so caught up with well... Gerard. I was finally with someone who understood me, who was caring, who loved me, I was in a good relationship. And even though it was only a week or two in I couldn't imagine being with anyone else, ever.
But that didn't excuse the fact that I wasn't speaking as much as usual to my girls, and I was hoping that Arienane and Robin would be there too so we could catch up a bit.
I pull at my jacket sleeve, something that seems to be a tick of mine, and begin to answer Bob. "Well, I'm not really sure but she sounded as if she was about to go into hysterics," I reply with a small smile.
"Ha, typical Miranda," Bob replied with a grin appearing over his face.
I turn to him and give him a suspicious look. How would he know what typical Miranda behavior would be, he'd only met them a few times, maybe three at the most.
"What do you mean typical Miranda behavior?" I ask giving him a glare that even scared Ray.
"Um oh, uhh..." he said slowly then suddenly stopped, "Oh hey look where here, bye Delilah! Call when you are ready to come home! Bye!" he said practically pushing me out the of the truck and peeling back onto the street to the apartment. I gain my balance and start mumbling to myself as I head for the backdoor of Miranda's house that I always go through.
"Oh yeah, thanks Bob... friggin' idiot almost killed me, ugh, I'll get him back," I say to myself as I approach Miranda's door to ring the doorbell.
Once I do I here Matt and Lucky barking and wait patiently for either her little brother, her little sister, or herself to answer the door. To my surprise it's none of the above. The girl who opens the door is Robin but she looks... different. He bangs were cut short and dyed a bright green while the rest of her long used-to-be brown hair was black. It looked very pretty but it took me by shock.
"Hi Delilah!" she yelled as she embraced me by surprise before I could so much as mumble a hello. I always loved her surprise hugs, the ones you least expect are the best to recieve. As she squeezes me she screams again making me wince because it's right ion my ear, but I smile remembering all the times she had done that last year. "Guys! Delilah's here!" Robin lets me go but before I can catch my breath another girl grabs me in her arms.
"Dammit Delilah, you need to tell Gerard you were ours first!" Miranda says huging me, not as tightly as Robin, but it was still nice. She was right, I was their's first.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever, he just loves having me around if you know what I mean," I say winking at her as she lets me go and covers her face laughing.
"Oh god, don't tell us that Delilah!" Robin says giving me the your perverted mind is one thing I love and hate about you look. We walk towards the hallway and I hear a certain someone comment as well as we walk to Miranda's room.
"Yeah, ew," she says. It was Arienane. She was leaning against the doorframe of Miranda's room with a grim look upon her face. Usually she'd come up to me to give me a hug but today she just didn't. So I walked up to her and squeezed her. She didn't return the gesture. This, this reaction, the fact that there was NO reaction, showed me just how much she missed me.... or was angry at me.
As my best friend hugged me I just stood there without moving an inch. She was hugging me out of who knows what. She wasn't standing in front of me because she wanted to be, she was because Gerard and Bob told us to make her come. Because Gerard was planning a surprise for her. She was only in front of me at the moment because he had told us to call her and make up a stupid story to get her away for a good 2 hours or more. If he hadn't well, she'd still be at the apartment, probably fucking him if she could. Ugh.
Gerard, Gerard, Gerard. That's all she would talk about with me now. And not even in person, through text or on the phone. I was happy for her, that she was happy, but it was annoying. I never see her anymore and then when I have the chance to talk to her she only wants to talk about Gerard, and all the fun she has with the guys. Delilah wasn't my best friend anymore. After New Year's she just stopped trying. Even though it had only been maybe 10 days it wasn't the same. She wasn't the Delilah I knew and loved.
But then again, it could just be me. I mean, Robin and Miranda didn't have a problem with her not being around everyday like before but then again I had been a lot closer to her. The reality of it was that ever since she met the guys in August she and I had grown distant. And I hated it.
As I stood there, not reacting to her hug at all I felt a tear escape from my eye. I hadn't cried in so long, and I did not want to cry in front of Delilah, Robin, and Miranda.
I reach up to wipe it away quickly before anyone can notice but I am not stealthy enough.
"Are... are you crying?" Delilah asked taking a step away from me.
"Arienane, are you... are you ok?" Robin asked stepping forward unlike Delilah. In the past Delilah would've done that but now... it was different now.
"Get in my room, I don't want Joshie and Val listening in to this conversation," Miranda says as she pushes us into her bedroom and closes the door.
I didn't want to talk. If I did all of the pent up emotions I've been hiding from Delilah would explode and I'd go off on her. I didn't want that. It could ruin any hint of a friendship we still had.
"Are you okay? Is there something we need to talk about?" Robin said, once again something Delilah would've said.
Delilah just fiddled with her jacket string, practically oblivious to the fact that I was almost ready to sob. That was the last straw. Miranda was staring at me worridly and Robin had her hand on my shoulder trying to get out of me what was wrong, but Delilah.... she just sat there.
"You know what Robin, no I'm not okay dammit, and she's the reason why!" I finally burst out of anger and point to Delilah who looks at me with a shocked and scared face, but it was blurred because of the tears swelling in my eyes.
This could not be good. I had never seen Arienane yell about Delilah like this before, it was as if she no longer was Delilah's best friend but her worst enemy.
"What the fuck Arienane, what did I do!?" Delilah yelled back fiercely. She never was one to turn down an argument or a fight.
"Whoa, guys relax, please, what's going on, can we talk calmly please?!" I ask starting to freak out. I could tell this was going to end horribly if Miranda or I didn't intervene.
"Yeah, relax, what's going on Arienane?" Miranda said walking closer to Arienane, away from Delilah who was standing near her desk.
Completely ignoring both of us Arienane retorted to Delilah's question. "That's just the thing! You do nothing!"
"Arienane, stop yelling for the love of God!" I say almost ready to cry seeing that she was now crying. Strangely enough it was as if Delilah didn't care, she just kept on ignoring me.
"You sound like an old lady talking to her husband! What do you mean I do nothing!?" she replied in confusion and anger. Delilah was smart but I couldn't blame her for asking. I was just as confused as she was.
"Goddammit Delilah! You are so damn smart but you can't realize what she's talking about!?" Miranda says to Delilah. Miranda just took Arienane's side which meant this was going to go into a full fledge fight among us four friends, best friends.
"Oh now you're going to yell at me too!? Why the hell am I even here? You randomly call me about your fucking bunny and he looks fine to me," Delilah says pointing to the cage that held Billie Joe in Miranda's room. "I was spending time with Gerard and then you-"
"EXACTLY! That's all you do now! Gerard this, Gerard that, oh Gerard, shut up already okay!" Arienane says already crying making my heart ache.
Here she was yelling at her best friend, two of my best friends almost at each others' throats because of what? I wasn't even sure yet.
"Oh so that's what this is about!? Look, I'm sorry for being happy, I'm sorry for being content for the first time in a long time, I'm sorry I'm not this broken fucking girl that depends on you three as much as I did before! I came over here today in hope of spending time with you guys but instead I get yelled at?! No dammit, no!" she yells back at Arienane.
Every word in that sentence hurt. She had just said that she no longer needed us....
"Delilah, Miranda, Arienane, please," I say already crying. These were my best friends, the truest greatest friends I could ever ask for and they were acting as if our pasts no longer mattered, as if we were nothing to eachother.
"No Robin. No. Delilah, leave. Just leave. I'm sick and tired of hearing about those guys since AUGUST and I'm sick of your face, you aren't the same girl I used to know," Arienane says as calmly as possible.
At this point I'm sobbing. This can't be happening, it just can't. How long had Arienane felt this way? Why hadn't she told me? This wasn't happening, it just couldn't.
"This is your damn house, you can't kick me out," Delilah retorts with a straight face.
She was skilled at hiding her emotions but I could see the tears swelling in her eyes. This was killing her, she did care.
"Well I can, now leave," Miranda says pointing to the door.
"Fuck you guys," Delilah says walking out of Miranda's room and flipping them off.
I take one look at Miranda and Arienane who are standing there with tears streaming down their faces. How was it that a day we were able to spend a few hours together turned into this mess?
I quickly followed Delilah outside catching up to her before she left the driveway.
"Delilah... please!" I plead as I stand by the door.
She takes one good look at me and comes walking towards me. She wraps her arms around me and I squeeze her. "Please Delilah, go work things out," I say crying into her shoulder.
"You heard them Robin. They are sick of me," she says in a whisper.
"No, no! They don't mean it! They just think that Ray, Gerard, Frank, Mikey, and Bob are replacing us, please don't leave!" I say crying even more now. I couldn't take this.
"I'm sorry Robin, I'm leaving," Delilah says with one last squeeze and then lets me go and leaves me standing there watching my best friend walk away.
I shouldn't have done that. Fuck. I promised Bob I would keep her around. And I had no room to talk about her and Gerard's relationship especially in the situation I was currently in.
But once Arienane started crying I couldn't help it. She had told me over Robin about what was going on in her mind adn how she was feeling about Delilah and her relationship. She was right about everything though, it wasn't the same anymore.
I sniffled a bit and looked at Arienane.
"We did the right thing," I said pulling her into a hug.
"I hope we did," she said with a sigh and I felt her chest heave a bit, a sign that she was crying again.
I couldn't believe it. I know I hadn't been the greatest friend in the world recently but it wasn't my fault that I had found the guys. And wasn't Arienane the one who told me to meet new people? I didn't get it.
She's jealous, she wants Gerard, isn't it obvious darling?
"No shut up, no, I've blocked you out before I'll do it again," I say to no one in particulary. It was my conscience, the one that spoke badly of everyone in my life. I called it my personal devil.
But darling it's obvious! Look just go to that park, sit in the little house and well I think you can guess the next thing to do.
This voice was always creepy and was a bit squeaky with a hint of a cackle, it was scary to think I had created it somehow in my mind. I wiped the tears from my face and tried to ignore it.
Don't ignore me darling, you know you want to.
My mind was right, I did want to but I couldn't.
The pain though, hearing my best friend say those things to me.... I just couldn't believe another person in my life was hurting me, leaving me. I didn't mean to disattach myself from them so much, it just happened. I wanted to be with them but the guys... they'd become such a huge part of my life.
I suddenly realized I had led myself to the little tent type set up in the park. The urge, it was there, it wasn't going to stop unless I did what I didn't want to.
I sat on the ground of the little structure and pulled it out. Maybe I had a choice, but at that moment there was nothing I could do but this.
"You're right Mikes, she should be coming back by now. Bob why don't you-"
I was interrupted by a banging on the door. Frank was the first one up and answered it with a bit of hesitation.
Once he opens the door all we see is a sobbing Delilah with her sleeves pulled up high even though it was freezing outside and she throws herself into Frank's arms unexpectedly.
Ray and I jump up and go by her.
"Delilah, Delilah! What happened?!" Frank says worriedly pulling himself away from her letting her slide down the door that Mikey closed after he and Bob walked over and onto the floor sobbing.
"I'm-i'm-i'm s-s-s-so sorry," she says crying into her arms.
I look down and see a horrible image. Her arms, blood all over them, cut up in every direction, the deep red blood mixed with dirt and tears.
Ray sees them too and slams his fist on the counter. Mikey, Frank and Bob see them too and move away so I can kneel by her.
"Delilah.... what happened?" I say crying. The girl I loved just came back to my apartment arms covered in most likely self caused cuts and was sobbing. I couldn't help but feel horrible having my heart tighten in my chest.
"I-i- we... we.... we all had a fight and...and....and... I couldn't stop I-i-i just couldn't help myself, I'm so sorry Gerard!" she says throwing herself into my arms.
We both sit there crying and I realize Ray is too as he paces the living room. Frank sits on the couch with a shock expression covering his face and Mikey goes to his room and slams the door. Bob follows him making sure he doesn't do anything stupid.
Delilah and I just sit there, rocking back and forth crying. The person I loved was in pain, and I had to know why, but I also needed her to tell me on her own. So I waited.
Didn't see that coming huh!? Anyways, I hope you guys like this cause it was hard to write, the next chapter will be up soon! And well who thinks I should wrap this up after Delilah's birthday or Valentine's Day? R&R please! xo