Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Escape and Return!
Escape
25 ReviewsWhat if Hermione had come up with a plan other than a long-term camping trip for book 7?
Reviews
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Escape and Return!
(#) DrT 2011-07-16 07:34:20 AM
This story still needs lots of work (even though there should only be 6 chapters or so). Expect an update about once a month. -
Escape and Return!
(#) Rob 2011-07-16 09:11:20 AM
Interesting start, major changes from minor decisions.
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Escape and Return!
(#) KenF 2011-07-16 09:18:33 AM
I liked the shipping method. Looks like this might be interesting. -
Escape and Return!
(#) grenouille 2011-07-16 10:42:27 AM
Welcome back, Doc. This is quite the bizarre twist on things, yet is still plausible. Can't wait to see where you take this.
grenouille -
Escape and Return!
(#) OdinMage 2011-07-16 11:53:17 AM
Great to see something new from you! I can't wait to see where you take this, and I'm glad you're writing again! -
Escape and Return!
(#) dennisud 2011-07-16 02:28:19 PM
Wow very original though its got alot of a certain Science Fiction writer's slant already! I am glad to see an Hp story go that way with a magical slant as well!
Good start!
dennisud -
Escape and Return!
(#) Wonderbee31 2011-07-16 02:58:27 PM
Wow, great to see more of your writing here, and looks to be an interesting start and quite a different take from the endless camping trip of book 7. -
Escape and Return!
(#) Brian64 2011-07-16 03:47:59 PM
Hey T, welcome back. I think I need to take up divination because I started rereading some of your old stories yesterday (Fist Full of Galleons, Younger Potter Twin), and ended up checking out your story list page in case there was anything I'd missed before.
Anyway, my review.. One thing I've noticed in your fics (or at least the ones I keep rereading) is that you tend to provide a detailed explanation of the history, politics and/or background of the scenario you've created. I agree that adds some depth to your world, but I feel that overdoing it distracts too much from what I think should be the real focus of the story; the main characters and how they are interacting with each other and what they are doing. In this first chapter for instance, where is the focus? If Harry and Hermione were removed from the scenes and replaced with Neville (for example) would anyone really notice the change?Author's response
I have to admit the the first charge -- I'm a professional historian, thinking in terms like those are just natural to me. In some of my fics, I think I've explored character pretty well, in others, like this, I've focused on the situations. Still, I don't think anyone could take Harry and Hermione's place here. However, Hermione has played her active major role -- bigger guns are coming in to do the thinking -
Escape and Return!
(#) wordhammer 2011-07-16 07:20:29 PM
First- holy frijoles, you're back!
Second- I'm with Brian64; you took the wind out of the primary characters' sails. I would have thought that Hermione knew some of what to expect, else she wouldn't have recommended this ripcord plan. It might work better to set up their situation, have the two argue about next moves where Hermione lays out what she knows of the Confederations and why they're a good choice for begging asylum, then have them get there, get decanted and immediately separated and shuffled by MiB types.
The tension of 'will they accept us?' becomes the cause and reason for the first chapter, and they'll have an uh-oh when Hermione's knowledge proves skewed (by the nature of only knowing the Confeds via a British perspective). The MiB types then argue that their situation doesn't merit Confed protection, forcing H&H to confess about the Horcruxes - a subject they would be LOATHE to mention except when needed- and get to meet a higher-up that explains more of the backstory, but only as much as is needed for H&H to care.
Also, I suggest ending with 'welcome to the New World'.
Still, intriguing concepts- whats the plot?