Note: I do not own South Park or any of its characters. Oh, and spoilers for You're Getting Old and probably future episodes.
"Okay, can you move it around?" The doctor was asking.
"I don't know!" Cartman grumbled. "Why would I move something if it might hurt? Fucking idiot!"
"Cartman!" Kyle exclaimed.
"Fine, fine!" Cartman sighed, and wincing, managed to roll his ankle. Damn! Why did Kyle have to make him come to this asshole?
"Now, did that hurt?" The doctor asked.
"Damn right it hurt! What type of fucking doctor are you?" Eric snapped.
"Cartman, he's just trying to help!" Kyle pleaded.
"What?" Cartman turned to his friend. Did Kyle expect him to just the doctor walk all over him? "Doctors are supposed to make you better not hurt!" He turned back to the doctor. "You better not give me AIDS!"
"Why…why would I give you AIDS?" The doctor replied confusedly, looking between Kyle and Cartman.
"Never mind." Kyle shook his head. "Is it broken?"
"Well," The doctor smiled after a second, "I'll have to check the X-ray to make sure but I think it's just sprained."
"See, Kahl?" Cartman smirked. "I was right and you were wrong!"
"He said he still needed to look at the X-ray." Kyle scoffed unconvincingly.
"Well," The doctor said hesitantly, "I guess I'll go check."
"Uh…yeah, that would be nice!" Cartman rolled his eyes. Did this asshole think they had all day?
The doctor smiled. "Well, in that case I'll be back in just a few minutes. You two boys-"
"Just go already!" Cartman snapped. "GOD!" The doctor hurried from the room.
Kyle sighed and crossed his arms. "Dammit, you're such an asshole, Cartman."
"Wha-what did I do?" Cartman asked. Yeesh! It wasn't like he'd lost his temper or anything like that!
It turned out Cartman had fractured a small bone in his ankle. The doctor had given him a cast and told Cartman to rest. Kyle had called Mrs. Cartman to pick them up. Now they were plopped down on the couch, watching the Lord of the Rings Trilogy and eating Cheesy Poofs and popcorn.
"Hey, you know Legolas and Gimli are sort of like us, don't you think?" Cartman asked, looking over at Kyle innocently.
"Uh…sure, Cartman." Kyle responded, confusedly. It wasn't like Cartman to start 'heart-to-heart' conversations.
"I mean," the other boy continued, "they start out as enemies, then turn into reluctant allies, but slowly become friends."
"And by the end they're inseparable. Just like us."
Realization dawned on Kyle. "You don't need to worry, Cartman." He reassured. "Just because Stan's back, doesn't mean he'll become my best friend again."
"Of course not!" Cartman snapped. "Who said I was worried?"
Kyle hid a smirk. "No one. I just wanted to make sure you knew that."
"Oh." A pause. "Hey, Kahl?"
"Can I have more popcorn?" Eric asked, eyes blinking with a sweet smile.
"You already ate most of the bowl!" Kyle snorted, looking down at the bowl.
"I know, but I'm still hungreeee!" Cartman whined.
"No." Kyle replied firmly. "No more. I want to eat some too."
"But, Kaaahl! I broke meh ankle!"
"What's that got to do with popcorn?"
"You need to be nice to meee!"
"Okay." Kyle grinned. "You can have the rest."
"That's more like it!" Cartman replied smugly, reaching for the bowl. Before Cartman could react, Kyle pulled the bowl back and threw the contents at his friends. "Ay!" Cartman exclaimed and picking up the bag of Cheesy Poofs, returned fire.
But Kyle was prepared and had one of the couch pillows in front of him before Cartman could do much damage. Scooping up the Cheesy Poofs that fell to the side, Kyle aimed them around his shield and was amused to hear a crunch. Sneaking a peek he saw that Cartman had emptied the bag and was catching the missiles in his mouth.
With a chuckle, Kyle let his pillow drop. "The point wasn't for you to eat them!"
"Mmm…you totally suck at combat, Kahl." Cartman said. "Never use food...mmm...unless you want to lose…"
"Whatever, Cartman." Kyle laughed and got up. "I'm going to go wash my hands. They're covered in butter and cheese."
"You know, we're only going to have more." Cartman protested.
"You're going to have more." Kyle pointed out. "Only you could eat more after popcorn and candy at the movies and then popcorn and Cheesy Poofs here."
"Hey," Cartman answered defensively, "when global warming brings about another ice age, I'll be able to go a month without food and you'll be wishing that you ate more popcorn and Cheesy Poofs!"
"Yeah, except we'll all be dead by then." Apparently Cartman couldn't think of a reply to that so Kyle continued on his way to the bathroom. Casting a glance over his shoulder, he shut the door. He turned the faucet on and quickly washed and dried his hands but then pulled out his phone and dialed a number that he hadn't dialed in years but had never wanted to delete.
"Hello?" The voice said.