I wanna take a look inside and in the darkest shadow of your mind...
Since this is a cliffhanger chapter,I'll try and get the newest one up ASAP.
I just want to say I like this.Yes,it starts off that Gerard is all macho and manly and Frank is a girl but in the middle we have a nice little change.
Rest assured Gerard will be "The Guy" of the story after this chapter,I just did this because I feel very bad for Frank the last few installments.Anyway-enjoy!
Btw,I'm sorry I haven't been telling you the bands I name chapters after.They're usually Morrissey,but "Bliss" was Muse and "Every You Every Me" was Placebo.This one is from the Kinks.
First of the Gang to Die
"Oh sugar,sweetheart,baby,it's alright,"he soothed,cradling the sobbing boy in his arms,kissing him softly as he wailed into the shoulder of the murderer,"I'm here now,darling,please don't cry."
"Now everybody knows!"He squealed."Everyone's going to hate me because of it!You'll hate me!They know I'm some...some whore!"He sniffed and tried to unsuccessfully bite back his tears."I hate me."
"Sugar,don't you dare say that,"Gerard comforted sternly,"no one hates you,no one could ever hate you,especially not me,you know that.You're the best thing I have,baby,I couldn't live without you,you make me so happy."He seemed to be calming down now,the hopeless sobs had quietened down to weak hiccuping.He was still squeaking and shaking like a frightened rabbit,clutching at Gerard's shirt,eyes wet and deep and large.
"Do you still-love me?"The boy shuddered,searching the gangster's face for confirmation."Please please Gerard,I'm so sorry,I'm yours and only yours-"
"Shhh,baby,calm down,you're getting hysterical,"he cooed in his ear,stroking his hair."I have told you before and I will tell you again:I love you so much,honey,you're perfect.You don't have anything to be sorry for,you were taken advantage of,it wasn't your fault.I know you're mine,we're married,you have my name,sweetie,you are exclusively available to me and only me.You're my bunny rabbit."
"Please don't call me that,"he requested quietly,rubbing at red rimmed sockets."What he said about it-"he broke down again,hot tears streaming down his cheeks,inhaling sharply.The sentence trailed off.
"Baby,you know that's not the reason I call you that.Rabbits are cute,and small,and adorable,and innocent."He slipped the boy onto his hips,careful he didn't frighten him further."They're pure and docile."He flicked his sight over his smaller half."Vulnerable.Like you."
"Not because they fuh-fuck?"He whimpered,feeling utterly disgusting.He was sitting in the lap of a dignified killer,cool and collection,educated and articulate.Here he was,some gross being who had sucked off tens of men previously."It's not b-because of that?"
"Of course not,honey,that's degrading and disrespectful.You know I treat you better than that."Anxiety swept through his mind."I do,right,sweetheart?I treat you okay?"
Frank nodded and slumped against Gerard's chest,grasping a handful of the fabric in his fist,still sniffling to himself.His eyes were beginning to sting and pound from rubbing them,from crying too much.His head was starting to hurt.He felt stupid and clingy.
"Are you alright,sugar pop?Do you need anything?"
"Can I just..."Gerard searched his soul with his glittering orbs,full of love,of worry-concern fogging up his thoughts,his actions."Can I just stay with you?"
"Of course you can."The older stood up slowly,his eyes shut,cracking his back.He was in burning,ravaging,savage pain.
"Just my-"he gasped with sharp,sudden agony-"leg."He leaned against the wall."Phantom pain."
"Is it dull or acute?"He had his share of medical mishaps with James,and had been made learn most medical terms,despite having dropped out of high school at sixteen.By the time he was twenty,four years of being James' personal MD,he had read most medical journals published in the state of California.
"Acute,"Gerard groaned,"it pulsates and returns in due accord-degrees of intensity-"
"Can you talk normally for a minute?"Frank asked in desperation-he had read books on medicine,not some dictionary or thesaurus or whatever."I can't understand you!"
"I'm sorry-"Gerard rasped,sinking down on the floor again,"-the pain comes and goes-sometimes really bad and sometimes not so bad-oh fuck-"
Frank scrabbled over to him and took his wrist in his gently,trying to time it with the clock outside the door,which (obviously) struck sixty beats per minute,and Frank tried to calculate how fucked Gerard actually was.
"How fit are you?"Frank asked,trying not to show his worry as Gerard's pulse slowed right down."How much do you drink and smoke?"
Gerard moaned in pain and balled his fists.Frank wished he had the injured party's sense of cheering up.
"I'm sorry,Gee,I am,but you gotta tell me,"he gabbled quickly,kissing his knuckles,"please,you're hurt,you need help."
"I walk-two hours-most days-"he forced out,wheezing deeply,"-but I smoke two or three cigars a day-drink-wine or whiskey-"another deep groan,right from the pit of his stomach.Frank actually blushed from the inappropriate eroticism."I weigh-hundred and eighty pounds-five ten-"his chest heaved with effort as he spoke,sweat running down his forehead-"mio Dio-"
"Please don't speak Italian,honey,I don't speak that,"Frank squeaked helplessly,trying to work out the
So this is the best time ever and everything but here in Ireland and I think in the UK we say "maths" but I think in the US ye say "math"...I am pondering on which term to use
Keeping you in suspense eh
I could just say arithmetic
Or maybe mathematics
Or numeric skills
math in his head.The fact that he had flunked the subject seven times
oh yeah like a boss
did not really aid the situation.
"Your pulse is really weak,baby,"he finally came out with."It's only eighteen when it should be between sixty two and sixty five beats per minute."He tugged on his lip."You need a shot."
Frank didn't know where the second pet name had come from,but it seemed Gerard had bigger things on his mind.
Gerard stopped groaning and looked Frank straight in the eye.He seemed to turn even paler,if that as possible.
"Epinephrine?"Frank suggested meekly."An adrenaline shot."
"With a needle?Intravenously?"
"Well...yeah.How else would I do it?"
"I'm afraid that's not going to happen,"Gerard said softly,"I am not getting an injection."
"Why?It'll help you,I promise,Gee,it'll-"
"I don't get injections."He shut his eyes and sighed deeply."I'm tryphanophobic."
Frank paused and looked at his husband.A killer.A gangster.A ruthless taker of life for over twelve years.Afraid of needles?
"Y-you are?"He was struggling not to smile.Even he,weak,defenseless Frank Iero,was not afraid of needles."You're scared of needles?"
"Before you say anything,they are fucking terrifying,"he started,still wincing with the almighty pain."People die from them,y'know."
"They die from swapping them,Gee,"Frank reassured,placing himself between Way's spread legs."Or if they're dirty or something."
"They are fucking lethal-"
"Loads of people get them.Diabetics take up to six every day,Gerard,and they're harmless.There's no reason to be afraid of them."
"I am not afraid,I just-"his indignation showed on his face as he sulked and refused."They are-"
"Everyone is scared of something,Gee.I fucking start screaming if I see a spider.And clowns are really creepy,and I get panic attacks from being near cats.Hell,Ray told me he won't go in water that's above your ankles."
I personally faint from seeing a cliff or something above four feet in stature I am actually such a wuss
"The point is-"he tried to stifle his groan-"I am not having one,nor can you make me-"
"But,Gee,"Frank whimpered,putting on his best pout."Please.You're so sick.You need one."
Way was starting to crack as his husband began to sniff and squeak again,rubbing at his eyes.The gangster felt like shit physically,as well as emotionally for making his rabbit cry.
"How big is it?"He growled,finding it hard to stay gruff as Frank lit up.
"Not that big,I promise,Gerard,"the boy affirmed happily,leaning in to kiss the older on the cheek,"and I'll hold your hand!"He remembered the reputation at stake."I mean,if you want to."
"Just do it quickly,I'm fucking dying here."Then:"I'm sorry,sweetheart,I shouldn't talk to you like that,please forgive me."
"It's fine,"Frank said."I have to go get it from downstairs."
"Please,get someone else to retrieve it for you,"he panted,pulling the boy back down to him,"please stay with me here,I'm in so much fucking pain."
"Okay,"Frank obeyed,running down the corridor to ask someone while Gerard slumped against the red walls.
"Bob!Bob,I need you!"
"Hey,man,how's it goin?"He approached the boy,rifle in hand.Frank had left the door ajar."Sweet fuckin Jesus what's wrong with the Coro-"
"He's sick,and I need you to get me some adrenaline,"Frank instructed,"really really quickly.Please,Bob,please.Please help me."
"Yeah I'll...I'll get it.Just-make sure you know what you're doin,right?"He looked stumped."I really...I actually like that sick bastard."
"I'm the one who married him,Bob,I kinda like him as well,"Frank snapped,rolling his eyes.Then he regained sanity."OhmygodIamsosorrythatwasosmeanofmepleasepleasepleaseforgiveme-"
"Don't worry about it,kid,I'll be back soon."
Frank sprinted back to the room,clutching his chest.He was tired,stressed,terrified-he felt like he was gonna vomit.He found Gerard in the same position,lying against the wall.
"Gee?"His voice was high;tight."Are you okay?"
"Mmm,"he replied,pulling the boy to straddle his waist,"I want to thank you for this.It's so good of you.I didn't know you were a medical expert."
"Not really,"Frank replied."Just some stuff."
"Always with the modesty,"he smiled,"but I really do appreciate this.Even if I have a complete freak attack,"he opened his eyes;hazy,bloodshot,pained."Thank you,baby."
"I'm just helping you.You've done so much for me."He tried to think of all of them."So many things.I should be thanking you.All the time.You protect me and stuff."He wished for about the millionth time he had good grammar."Thank you."
"I obviously have not done enough due to your injuries and sustained emotional damage,"he muttered to himself,but the other heard."Anyway,that's not a duty."
"But you don't have to do it."
Gerard shrugged."You're my bunny rabbit.I'd do anything for you."
Frank closed the gap separating them by pressing his lips ever so softly to Gerard's,the older sucking on the metal between his teeth.The boy became restless and flushed,pulling at the gangster's clothes,moaning into his open mouth.Gerard pushed him back down gently with one hand,becoming light headed from the affection,but still enjoying it immensely.
That was when the shouting started-the shooting,the footprints pounding up the stairs.None of it was in English,and none of it was particularly friendly.
"Shhh,"Gerard put his finger to Frank's lips,listening intently.Everything was in rapid,fluent,streaming Italian-they could have been discussing the game the Lakers won recently,as far as Frank was concerned.
"It's them,isn't it?"Frank whimpered into Gerard's ear,trying to suppress memories of the previous encounter."They're here?"
It was gonna be a long night.