Is this how you wanted it to be?
"Kacy! Wait!" Brendon called after me and I realized this scene was quite familiar to the second time we met when Brendon ran out after me. It seemed things with him never changed and I had grown to realize that he only wanted me because I wouldn't give in to him.
"I don't want to wait for you." I shouted back as I continued walking down the road. Thankfully the weather wasn't too bad and I hadn't dressed up. I didn't count on being ditched by my date. Also didn't count on Lisa taking off with my date though I couldn't blame her.
"I'll give you a ride home!" Brendon said, catching up with me quickly. Unfortunately he walked faster than me and I wasn't speeding up anytime soon. It wasn't worth it and I knew he would just increase his speed as well so I settled for looking straight ahead and ignoring him.
"Come on Kacy, you can't be that upset." Brendon said, looking at me as he walked beside me.
I closed my eyes once again and stopped. "I can't be that upset?" I asked him, wanting to have heard him wrong. Spencer was wrong. I wasn't dense, Brendon was.
Brendon shrugged even though he knew I couldn't see him, "Well yeah." He repeated seeming unaffected by what had just happened.
"So Brendon... How many dates have you been on?" I asked, opening my eyes and staring at him yet I didn't start walking just yet.
"I don't know." Brendon stated. "Plenty."
I nodded. "That would be my first date with someone who actually wanted to get to know me." I said, adding the last part because I had gone on what Brendon considered a 'date' but I hadn't considered it one seeing as how he didn't really want to get to know me. He just wanted another conquest and I was just giving him the fight he wanted.
"I don't get asked out a lot and I don't meet many guys that I want to be asked out by but finally it fit. I could've liked him and he could've liked me but we didn't have a chance because you were too involved in yourself. You wanted me to be another mark on your calendar. Another day, another girl. Well I'm not sleeping with you and I'm not going to become some girl you hooked up with because you had nothing better to do and because I was so easy.." I said, upset with him.
Brendon nodded, "I didn't want you to be easy."
I shook my head and looked at the surroundings, anything but Brendon would be good. "You don't get it Brendon. I've never been with a guy before and I certainly am not going to waste my first time on you."
Brendon seemed surprised by the admission but not at all put off by the denial. "You don't have to lie to me about being a virgin." Brendon argued.
I rolled my eyes. "It's not a lie."
Brendon shrugged. "I didn't want to steal that from you. That was never my aim."
"So what? You just wanted to steal everything else away from me while you're on break here?" I replied, now cars that were passing us had started to stare but this time around I didn't care. Brendon had crossed the line. His absurd stalking was no longer cute. I wasn't even sure I should have humored him the first time around.
"Alex didn't even like you." Brendon argued. "Not like I do."
"What do you like?" I yelled, feeling slightly deranged. "You walked in to a movie theater and saw me as nothing more than a moving target. When I resisted that just made the chase so much better. You saw nothing but the chance to amuse yourself with my life." I screamed in his face, over the traffic.
Brendon shook his head. "That's not true. I fell in love with who you were."
I looked away from him in disgust. "Brendon this isn't some movie. You aren't in hollywood anymore. People don't just look at each other and fall in love. It doesn't happen that way. Love takes work, it takes commitment and it takes knowing each other enough to want to be in love. We don't have any of that so don't even try to pull any of that crap on me."
"Well guess what Princess?" Brendon asked, tone turning sarcastic as he got angry. "This isn't some movie, you're right. Maybe I didn't like you for anything other than your looks when I first saw you. And maybe you just have to get past this stupid bitter block you put up for the world because I swear every guy is not going to go out of his way to get to know you like I have."
With that Brendon walked away, back to his car, leaving me standing alone on the side walk facing reality.
By the time I got home my feet hurt, it had been a long walk but it was nice outside and my mind was so cluttered that I needed the time alone to clear it. It didn't really help to find someone standing at my door though. I wasn't ready for the real world yet but here he was. Alex stood in front of me. I wouldn't blame him if he were simply here to tell me how horrible I was.
"You walked home?" Alex asked, seeming confused as he looked behind me but despite how hard he looked he wouldn't find anyone else. I was indeed alone.
"Yeah." I stated, playing with my ear lobe as I nervously waited for the yelling to begin. It was a nervous habit of mine.
"Why didn't Brendon bring you home?" Alex asked, seeming upset that he hadn't. Did Alex want me with or without Brendon? I was so confused.
"Because he had other things to do and I'm not anything of importance in his life. Remember, I went there with you... Not him. I expected to leave with you but I guess not." I stated, sounding bitter even to myself. Damn, Brendon was right.
Alex looked down at his feet and cleared his throat. "Are you really mad at me about that?" I had never seen him look so nervous. Usually he was bursting with confidence. Sure, he didn't have the conceited tone to it that Brendon did but the confidence was evident.
I shook my head. "No, I'm really not. I completely understand. That date was a disaster but I wish you would believe me about Brendon. There really is nothing between us."
"Then why does he show up places as if he can't let go of you?" Alex asked, in a tone that stated clearly he didn't believe me.
I shrugged. "I don't know Alex. I just can't tell you what he's thinking because I have absolutely no idea."
Alex stepped closer to me and leaned down. That moment surprised me as he pressed his lips against mine and wrapped his fingers in my hair, keeping my face in place. His tongue jetted out as if to explore but I didn't want to do this on my porch resulting from a fight so I pulled away. He didn't let go of my hair at first though until he realized despite the pain I wouldn't lean in again. "Do you want me or him?" Alex breathed out.
I figured neither wouldn't be the right answer and at that moment as I stood breathless I felt the need for a personal connection. I didn't want my mother to be right and I didn't want Brendon to be right; I didn't want to be alone so I gave Alex the answer that he wanted. "You."
Alex's face lit up with a smile at my answer and it seemed to calm the entire situation and yet I was still shocked as he asked his next question. "Could I take you out on a better date tomorrow?" I figured he wouldn't want to be with me again but evidently he didn't want to be alone either.
"I think tonight will be easy to top." I joked with a smile as I nodded at the invite. "I'd be happy to go out again tomorrow."
And as Alex left with a smile on his face I sat down on my porch feeling lonely. Now that my stalker was gone I should be happy, right? I found that happiness didn't come so easily anymore.
What do you guys think?