Don`t worry sugar…Gee will be just fine…
“Gee, Gerard…” I sob, tears streaming down my pale from shock and fear, face. I had never felt so guilty or more dreadful in my entire life. Never.
“Gerard, please wake up.” I plead with him, though his hazel eyes stay firmly shut, blocking me out like he always did as of late. He never seemed to notice how much it was hurting me. It was hurting him too, I was sure of it.
“Bro, get up, now.” My bottom lip trembles and I don’t even bother to try and hide the fact that I am weeping buckets; I couldn’t if I tried anyway.
“Shhh…Mikes.” My girlfriend Megan wraps her arm around my shoulder comfortingly and presses a gentle kiss to my tearstained cheek. We had only been dating a few short weeks, but I already though, no was sure that I loved her. “He`s gonna be aright Mikes, Gerard will be fine.” Another thing I liked about the blue eyed girl, she was extremely kind and liked nearly everyone, as long as they were nice to her and her friends.
“What if he isn`t Megan?” I ask, more tears falling. I couldn’t imagine a life without my older brother. He had been there for me forever, he always had the time to listen to me, and he never fought with me or told me I was boring him. He was the greatest brother and guy in the entire world.
“Shhh…” she strokes my hair soothingly. “Don`t think like that He will be fine.” I just nod, unable to say anything else, watching on in horror as the uniformed paramedics tried desperately to save him as he lay there dying or possibly already dead on the side of the road. Bits of what once had been a motorbike lay scattered everywhere, the scent of burning rubber almost choking me. The girl had been taken to hospital and was supposed to be in a stable condition, Gerard however was not. They had said it wasn’t possible top move him, for whatever reason I didn’t know. I guessed it may be something like when you get a crushing injury they aren’t supposed to move you or whatever. I didn’t know, I had very little medical knowledge.
Please, God, if you even exist you stupid fucker, please let him be alright, please let him live.
Rain is still coming down in torrents, it had been all day and although I was usually a bit fussy about my hair, right now I just couldn`t bring myself to give a damn about it. Despite the miserable weather, it hadn’t been too cold today, there hadn’t been that much wind or anything. Until now…
I shiver once and pull the dog-eared sleeves of my old Smashing Pumpkins hoodie, not sure where the sudden icy wind had came from. Out of the corner of my eyes I can see Megan shiver and pull her black leather jacket tighter around her shoulders, obviously noticing the sudden change as well.
Don`t worry sugar…Gee will be just fine…
I shiver again, the wind had vanished just as suddenly as it had appeared, the rain seems to be getting less heavy as well, maybe it would stop soon. The grey, dismal sky did appear to be getting lighter over by the trees on the right of Megan.
“Did you..Hear something?” bemused she shakes her head, her ruby coloured hair was plastered to her face, her thick eyeliner dripping down her cheeks. I smiled, despite everything.
“No, Mikes, you?” I shake my head, not wanting to sound crazy. It was just the fear and the shock making me think that I had heard a voice, a guy’s voice. Either that or it was the sound of the rain on the nearby rooftops or the far away sound of cars. The sound was far away in the distance due to the road being blocked off by the police, who were here, swarming around like flies, wanting to find out what had actually happened. They were all cold and emotionless, they didn’t care about Gerard or us, they the only thing they cared about was their great big pay check. He was just another teen involved in some accident, probably just some number in a case file soon to be completed and locked away, never to be resurfaced.
“Mikes, your mama says she`ll be here soon, she`s stuck in traffic about ten minutes away from here.”
“Thanks.” I smile at my two best friends-Ray and Bob. They had raced here from school as soon as they had heard what had happened to my brother, both eager to escape the hour long detentions. But that was not why they had came, they both truly cared, they were amazing friends, and they cared about Gerard as well.
“She, erm said that your dad cant, erm, make it.” Bob tells me flashing an apologetic smile. Ray does as well, and I silently thank them. Our dad was rarely around, he had a liking of younger girls, drugs and cheep booze. When he was around he didn’t do any of us any harm, but he didn’t do us any good either.
“Oh, sweetie,” mama`s usually warm and comforting voice is strained and I can hear the slight croak behind it, indicating that she too has shed more than a few tears since hearing about her eldest son.
“Is he going to be alright?” she asks, nervously glancing at the equipment the paramedics were using on him, desperately trying to save his young life.
“They don`t know.” Megan tells her in a quiet voice, after the two have been looking expectedly for a few minutes, realising that I was unable to speak.
“Megan, thank you.” She smiles at my girlfriend of four weeks and pats her on the hand. Megan smiles at her, whilst nervously biting on her bottom lip.
“Seriously Mrs. Way, I haven’t done anything, just wait with Mikey.”
“I have told you a million times dear, call me by my first name dearie.” She tells her, still keeping her nervous smile. “And thank you, I really mean it.” She says, holding up a hand to stop Megan from interrupting her. “I really am grateful for you waiting with Mikey, I`m sure he is too.” I flush slightly and mumble my thanks, before all of us, Bob and Ray included turn our attention back to Gerard.
“Wake up.” I whisper, watching on as they try to resuscitate my elder brother. Never in my life had I seen something so scary, no horror movie was this frightening, I never even knew that reality could be. Again and again they try, working tirelessly trying to resuscitate him, each time failing. One stands and walks over to my mother, the look on his face made it clear what he was going to say.
“Mrs. Way, I am afraid and dreadfully sorry but I must tell you that-“
“No!” I scream, breaking down into tears again, screaming in-between sobs, down on my knees on the gravelly, potholed road. “Not true, LIAR! He`s fine, he`s got to be!”
Mama rushes over to his body, where it lay crumpled by the curb, in a pool of blood. I could already tell that he wasn’t there, there was no longer any heart there, any spirit. True that had mostly left him long ago, but there was still some kind of weak determination in my brother to live on, no it was all gone. I couldn’t look at his body, he was no longer there. I felt no connection to the broken body laying there, Gerard wasn’t there. He was gone. Dead.
“Gerard!” Mama cradles his head to her, sobbing madly, doing nothing to dry her pain filled tears. Megan hugs me tight, whispering words I couldn’t understand into my ear, she too is crying. Ray and Bob are just standing there, shell shocked, unsure what to do or say.
“My baby. Sweetie, I`m so, so sorry. Please…” Mama sobs, practically screaming into Gerard’s ear.