The boy had tears in his eyes as he gazed up at his best friend. Well... up until a minute ago he'd been his best friend, anyway...
(#) letsdanceinthedark 2011-08-26 07:48:34 PMIt's quite good but the ending was a little rushed. Put yourself in Gee's shoes, you wouldn't go from being scared because your best friend might think you're disgusting, etc to being all happy and lovey dovey in less than a minute. Not trying to flame but I think you shouldn't go from OHHH NOOO to YAYYYYY too quickly because it ruins the moment. Well, that goes for me at least. IN NO WAY AM I TRYING TO OFFEND YOU!! 8)
Author's responseI'm not offended at all, don't worry! Thank you, in fact, this is one of the first reviews I've ever got that was actually helpful!
I can kind of see your point, and I'll be the first to admit that ending are my weak point. However, I also kind of think that, since the reason he thought Frank would think he's disgusting is that he likes him, and it turns out Frank likes him too, that fact, that Frank likes him, erases the worry Frank will think he's disgusting, therefore he'd be happy, y'know?
But I'm not particularly satisfied with this ending and have been thinking about alternatives. Do you have a suggestion for how it could go differently or anything? That would be super helpful. :)
(#) DangerousAmber 2011-08-26 08:16:05 PMI liked it but i sorta agree with letsdanceinthedark
BUUUUTTT it was cute c:
^-^ DangerousAmber ^-^
Author's responsedon't worry, I sorta agree with letsdanceinthedark too. :) Do you have any suggestions for how it could be improved? That would be super helpful.
(#) jodiethejodster 2011-08-27 04:36:44 PMI loved it so much :3
I'm literally Going 'AWWWWWWWW' at my screen :3
To be honest I can't think of a way to improve it :3 It was (in my eyes) PERFECT :3
Author's responseOh, well thank you! Glad you liked it! Thanks for taking the time to read and review!
(#) MCR_ROCK_RHCP 2012-01-08 02:14:17 AMWow. That was sooo cute and cheesy!!!
I loved it.
However. There is a criticism. I think that when Frank kissed Gerard, gee should've pushed away and been all like O_o no this is wrong etc.
It seemed rushed. Cuz I don't think gee would be like :'( to :D
He needs time to accept it in his mind.
I AM NOT TRYING TO MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE A CRAPPY AUTHOR!!! IN NO WAY ARE YOU A BAD AUTHOR!!! I DON'T WANT TO OFFEND YOU
Author's responseOh my gosh. I want to thank you for this a million times over. Honestly, I do.
This story WAS rushed. I wrote it at, like, 2 in the morning. Since I wrote it I have constantly been trying to think of a way to improve the ending and this is the first concrete and workable suggestion I've gotten for how to do that!! When I find a bit of spare time, I will see about working with this idea to improve the ending!!
THANK YOU so much!!