On the night of Frank Iero's wedding, Gerard and Ray have a talk.
It was the day of Frank and Jamia Ieros's wedding. The night was filled with merriment and celebration. People rejoiced and danced, drinking and singing. It was a day of love. Yet among the crowd of happy spirits, there was one little cloud of darkness that could be located leaning against the balcony of the reception room. That cloud was named Gerard Way, and he was feeling very dark indeed.
So Ray had noticed, anyway. Ray had been picking up more hor durves when he had spotted Gerard, leaning against the balcony all by himself. He decided to go over and see how his friend was doing.
"Hey." He greeted his friend softly. Now that he could see Gerard more up close, the storm in his eyes was evident. Yet Ray did not have to ask Gerard what was troubling him. He already knew.
Gerard was looking down the balcony, to the ground below. He looked then over his shoulder, at the golden reception behind him. His eyes targeted two people in particular.
"Look at him in there..." Gerard mumbled, "..so happy. So carefree. He's barely said a single thing to me all day."
He looked down at the dark ground below him again.
"If I jumped, do you think he would even notice?"
"Gerard." Ray gave him a scolding look, "C'mon, don't be like that. You're married too, remember?"
"That's different." Gerard huffed.
"How on earth is that different?"
"Well.." Gerard trailed off. As Ray had suspected, Gerard had no idea how to answer that question. "Okay, fine." Gerard sulked his shoulders in defeat after a moment's thought. "I just.. I'mkindascaredhe'lltreatmedifferentnow."
Gerard mumbled his words so fast, most people would have had no clue as to what he had just said. However Ray had become all too familiar to Gerard's mumbling when he was too embarrassed to properly admit to something. He placed a hand on Gerard's shoulder and squeezed it. Gerard reached up and grabbed his hand, stroking it affectionately.
"Well Gee... I can't promise you he won't. Things like getting married do change people. Still, you should be happy for him. He's marrying the woman he loves. You know what that feels like." Ray told him.
"Not quite." Gerard bit his lip. Ray raised an eyebrow at him.
"Oh, no --- don't get me wrong. I love Lindsey. I do. It's just... really, I only have for a pretty short time." Gerard explained. "Frank has loved Jamia for a really long time now. They're a sure thing. I guess I'm just kind of nervous that Lindsey and I might not be. And then if we break up, and Frank's already married, where does that leave me?"
Gerard turned to face Ray, as though expecting him to have the answer. Ray smiled at him and pulled him into a half hug, rubbing circles on his back.
"Well don't worry, Gee. I can't speak for other people. But married or not, I'll never abandon you. I promise. I'm pretty sure Mikey won't either. I mean he's kind of obligated to stick around, isn't he?" Ray chuckled, but got the air that Gerard did not find that funny. He wiped he grin off his face.
"Thanks, Ray." Gerard sighed. "I appreciate it."
"No problem man. I mean we all had to grow up sometimes, but that doesn't have to mean we need to grow apart." said Ray
"Sometimes I wish we didn't have to grow up at all." Gerard said as he looked again back at the reception. "I mean look at that... catering, and fancy dresses and classical music... this isn't us! Just a couple of years ago, we wouldn't be caught dead in this type of get up!"
"Yeah, we'd be out crashing some random guy's house party." Ray laughed.
"Picking drunken fights that we didn't remember in the morning." Gerard grinned. "Can't do any of that now that we have wives to beat us up if we did."
"Haha yeah." Ray sighed. "Seriously though Gerard, once you've loved someone for a long time like Frank has, you won't regret a thing."
"Hope so." Gerard gave Ray a smile. Ray wrapped an arm around him and turned them back into the reception. Gerard latched onto him, feeling much more secure than he had before Ray had come to talk to him.
Truthfully, he had, for a moment, considered jumping off that balcony. Of course, he would not really do that to Frank on his big day. It had merely been a thought. Selfish, like so many of his thoughts. Selfish, like the kind of person he just was.
They passed Frank and Jamia, and for a moment Frank caught Gerard's eye. Frank smiled warmly at him. Gerard smiled back, thinking about what Ray had said about loving someone for a long time.
He had loved someone, for a very long time. Only he never got the chance to even start with them. Yet as he looked at how Jamia stared at him with affectionate eyes, Gerard figured -- that was okay. Like Ray had also said, they had to grow up eventually. Part of growing up was accepting what you could and could not have. If that meant things might have to change, then so be it.
A second later, he saw Frank coming over to him. He straightened up, reminding himself to keep his cool. Smile, even if it hurt.
"Hey." Frank grinned as he pulled Gerard into a tight hug.
"Hey Frankie." Gerard greeted as he returned Frank's hug.
Then, Gerard felt Frank nuzzle his lips against Gerard's ear, and butterflies fluttered throughout his belly
"Let's blow this joint and have a little fun. Meet me outside in an hour."