On the day of Gerard Way's funeral, Mikey laments on their relationship. Oneshot.
So while I'm screwed, that means double one shots for you all this weekend. Enjoy.
My Brother, Gerard.
Mikey sits in the front row of the Belleville Chapel just three blocks away from their old home. Alicia is at his side, gripping his hand tightly. He hears her crying, yet he cannot take a moment to look at her. His eyes remain glued to the oblong coffin in front of him. Gerard's coffin.
It was strange to say it, even in his mind. Though he had already passed over a week ago, Mikey still could not really believe it. It still felt like some dream. And he kept waiting to wake up, back in their tour bus, so he can wake up Gerard, and they can get some coffee together before they have to go into sound check. Mikey hoped he would wake up soon, otherwise they might be late, and Ray will be angry at them again.
Yet this nightmare would not end, as the preacher kept drabbling on about the afterlife and god and angels and all that bullshit. It annoyed Mikey. This isn't what Gerard would have wanted at his funeral. He was never a religious man. They could have done him more honor than some generic funeral service at this tiny church.
Mikey thought back to when they were just children. Before all this rock star crap, before all the fame and money. Back to when they were just two normal brothers growing up in this small town, and they had no one but each other.
Mikey could not remember a time, even then, when he did not love Gerard dearly. From the very beginning, Mikey adored and admired his big brother.
When he was in the 2nd grade, Mikey had been asked to do a presentation in front of the whole class about who his hero was. It was Mikey's first time speaking in front of the class, and boy, had he been nervous. He never did very well speaking in front of crowds, as he had trouble speaking at all! He remembered asking Gerard to come with him. Gerard had asked Mikey's teacher if he could, but she said no, because Gerard was not in their class. It did not occur to Mikey until now that Gerard probably knew that she was going to say no, but he had asked anyway.
Still, Gerard and their grandmother both helped to prepare him for his "big day". Then it came, and Mikey remembered it vividly.
A small boy with large, thick rimmed glasses scuttled up to the front of the class. He stood up in front of his peers, red as a beet, clutching his one page report tightly in his hand.
"Go ahead, Michael." the teacher, Mrs. Beverly nodded.
Michael took a deep breath and looked at his paper. He began to read out loud, trying to pretend that all those people weren't there, staring judgingly at him.
"My brother Gerard is my hero. He's really nice and really, really talented. He's good at everything, but especially singing and drawing. He's super smart, too. He knows everything about everything. He's also my best friend, and we always do tons of stuff together! He has the best ideas! He's perfect in every way, and I love him very much."
At this point, the "joker" of the class, Andy Hager, yelled out "Mikey's gay for his brother!" and everyone laughed.
The teacher told them to settle down. Michael, however, was furious, and yelled out "Shut up Andy! My brother is tons cooler than you'll ever be!"
Despite being a rather lame come back, it wiped the grin off of Andy's face. Mikey then returned to his seat, feeling satisfied.
It was funny, thinking of that now. Gerard indeed turned out much cooler than plenty of the people they had gone to school with.
Mikey had hated seeing Gerard being made fun of when they went to school together. He would try to defend him, whenever he saw Gerard being mocked. Gerard insisted he stay out of it, because he didn't want to see Mikey get hurt. Still, Mikey was never able to stand it.
Gerard had always protected Mikey from his bullies. Or from mean babysitters. Or anyone else that bothered Mikey. So Mikey never really understood why Gerard would get upset at him for trying to return the favor.
They were supposed to be Batman and Robin. They had each other's back.
When they first started becoming famous, people told Mikey that Gerard was going to change. That Gerard was going to become some money greedy asshole who only cared about himself. But Mikey would answer that they were wrong about that. Gerard wouldn't do that to him. Gerard was better than that.
And despite what many people think, Gerard did not change at all. Throughout their lives as famous musicians, his brother remained kind, and loving. Sure, he faltered here and there. How could he not, with all these people hounding and stalking him? Yet even in the most difficult times, even when Gerard was teetering on the edge, Mikey never lost faith in him. In return, Gerard continued to protect him and be there whenever he was scared. He never stopped being his hero.
So what now? Mikey thinks, as he stares upon the coffin in which his brother lay. Gerard, what the hell am I supposed to do without you?
He feels a squeeze on his shoulder. A gentle squeeze, like the kind Gerard used to give him before they would go on stage for another show. A squeeze like he gave him before he went to school that day to make that speech. A squeeze like he had at Elena's funeral, when he felt like the whole world was falling apart around him. Kind of like how he feels now.
Mikey turns and realizes that Alicia had been trying to call his attention. Just a few seats down, Ray and Frank stares at him as well. It's time for him to give his eulogy. Mikey nods and gets up. He scuttles to the stage, standing behind the podium. Papers clutched in his hand.
He looks upon his audience, and it takes him back to that day in the class room. Standing in front of a crowd, to speak of how much he loves his brother. Except this time, he has a weapon he did not have before: confidence.
This time, he's a man. And he owes so much of that to the things Gerard had taught him.
Which is why he feels the speech he prepared is fitting.
"Hello everyone." he begins, "I've um... I've spent a lot of time in the past week, trying to prepare something that would do my brother justice. Something that would describe just how amazing of a person he was. Still, try as I might I could not bring myself to do it. I grew ever so frustrated, and it was all the more irritating that I did not have Gerard with me to air my grievances like I usually did. And then one day, I dug up something I had written a long time ago in our family attic. And I just felt it was... perfect. So I'll read this to you now." Mikey takes out the crumpled piece of paper from under the stack of nice, neat ones. He squints to see the scrawly writing and begins to read out loud. "My brother Gerard is my hero..."