"Six years Gee,six fuckig years."
I didnt want to get off the laptop this morning but I didnt really have a choice.My brother is coming over soon to spend the day with me,even though our parents arent that enthusiastic about it.When I left home that day,then had moore than happy to give me money to leave.They couldnt care less where I went,as long as it was away from them.Far away.I dont know why they hated me,but they just do.To be honest,I didnt particularly like them either.The rejection still cut deep though.
I still remember the look on Mikey's face,it tore my heart in two.I guess thats bout when I devoloped a shell to cover my heart,to save it from being torn apart again.People fear me,when im being a coward on the inside.I put up walls sheild me from the world.But what would happen if someone was to get behinde my walls?They would take advantage of the moment,and tear me apart again.They would leave me to put myself back together.
Seeing Mikey again,I cant lie,it will be hard.What if he hates me,and has only asked to come and see me to tell me so?
Oh shit,oh shit,oh shit!He's here!
Breathe in...breathe out....in....out
I havent seen Gerard in years,what if he's angry with me?Even though I was only ten,I still feel like I could have said something,done somthing,to make my parents have him stay.Ever since he left that day,ive felt guilty.He was only twelve for crying out loud!
How he has made it,I can only explain as his will.He's never been one to give in quite so easily.I pushed my glasses back up the bridge of my nose.I was stood outside his front door,scared to even knock on my own brothers door.
Come on Mikey,just do it I told myself this over and over.I cant just stand here forever.Slowly,I bring my trembling fist up to the door.
This is it
I wraped my knuckles twice against the oak wood of the door.It felt smooth under my touch.I heard a soft click,then slowly my brother appeared from behinde the confines of the house.I felt the tears prickling at my eyes at the sight of him.
"Six years Gee,six fucking years."