Adam reflects on a week with Carmen before they throw a dinner party for their dinner party.
I should be happy, right? I can't understand why I'm not. Everything's been more stable lately. Carmen and Sakura still hate each other, but they haven't seen much of each other either. To me, that's a fair balance, I hope. Work's not really stressful anymore. (Don't know how long that'll last, though.) Life's gone back to okay. So... what's the problem?
I don't really know.
I can't wrap my head around it. Carmen and I have been going through many ups and downs lately. One minute, we are all lovey-dovey. Then the next, she's mad at me for reasons I fail to understand. For a clearer explanation, let's look at last week, shall we?
Monday: Last week started out rather nicely. We picked back up with planning the wedding. The budget is set at 10,000 dollars tops. Would've gone lower, but this is what we settled on. Why is that women want to put their soon-to-be husbands/wives into debt before the honeymoon? I keep this question to myself, however. I can't risk having Carmen snap at me again. No, no, I'm keeping the peace as long as I can.
Tuesday: Not much happened that day. We didn't even get to see each other that much. We have lives outside of each other, you know? She walks at the clubs during the night and I'm still working out a way to keep my job as a journalist for Beach Radio Magazine. We don't even get time to pick up the phone and call each other that day. When we do, Carmen and I only talk to our voicemail and hang up. By the time we get home, we're too tired to talk and go straight to bed.
Wednesday: She just snapped at me, man. I can trace it all that way back to that morning. Her eyes reminded me of the devil. I try to put on a brave face and try to talk to her.
"What's wrong, baby?"
"You never call me anymore!"
"I told you, I have to work to pay for the wedding."
"So you're saying it's my fault?!?"
"No, I'm just trying to help. Your DJ job's not enough to buy for the whole wedding."
"Are you saying that my job is useless?!?"
"No, no!" I forgot what happened after that because of the confusing turn that the argument took. All I know is that she and I didn't talk to each other for the rest of the day.
Thursday: Carmen's still not talking to me. She's acting like a spoiled princess. This is where I go into fear mode. Her eyes frighten me when she is pissed off. This would be a good time to avoid her until she calms down. I want to try and fix it, but I'm afraid I'll just make it worse. For some reason, that's how it turns out to me. Why do human beings make things worse for themselves? Wouldn't it better to walk away? I can't go to Sakura either; she'll just rub it in my face. So what am I supposed to do?
Friday: Bitterness turned to into Heaven. She and I just spent most of the evening cuddling and making out like two teenagers. No wedding plans. No fights. No drama. No work. No phone calls. Just her and me at home in her apartment, enjoying each other. I like these kind of nights. Those have turned into few and far in between. It's been mostly nothing, wedding planning, or fights. Sometimes, I wish that we didn't have to get married and keep it simple like this. But, anything to keep her happy with going down the aisle.
Saturday: Back to nothing again. Work rose up high for us both. My group called me back to fix an error that someone, I think Rose or Greg, made without even looking. Plus, Carmen has to carter music to a party in the richer part of Miami. The only thing we have time for is a quick kiss goodbye and hurrying out the door.
Sunday: This morning, she's in a bad mood. I try my best to avoid her in order to prevent another fight. It doesn't help that apartment feels so small. There isn't many places to hide here. So, I have to pretend to be busy so that we don't talk to one another. I don't even try to make eye contact with her. One wrong look and she will be prone to attack me for no reason. I have the scratch marks on my right cheek from Thursday as proof. I would complain to Sakura, but she would make mock for it.
To make matters worse, we're having an engagement dinner party with all of our friends tonight. I swallow hard in the hall bathroom. Oh boy, this will not go well for me if I screw up again. I breathed up and came down stairs to help set up the table.
You Can't Escape Now, I've Got You Locked Inside This Room