I've written 11 chapters, soo......get ready for some notifications. Oh, and I just edited chapter 12
Mikey stared at the floor, refusing to move, speak, or look at me. I wondered if he had gone off his meds in his grief, but I didn't want to think he had.
Just like Carrie.
For the first time in a while, Mikey's bipolar disorder really hit me. Could he be just as dangerous as Carrie or David? Well...no...he loved his family and friends too much to try to do anything to hurt them. But, still, bipolar disorder is extremely similar to schizophrenia. I remembered calling Carrie's schizophrenia a perfect excuse to kill people...but how could I have said that? How could I, even mentally, support that misconception? People say the exact same thing about Mikey, and I know perfectly well that it's all bullshit.
"She thinks she ate too many oranges," Mikey finally said. "Because she was craving them. And they have a lot of Vitamin C...or something. So oranges can cause miscarriages. I don't think that was it, though. I don't think oranges can cause miscarriages. She just wants a reason."
"I don't blame her. I would want a reason," I said.
Just then, the door to my room slammed shut. I saw Milly run from there, down to her room and slam her own door shut. Mikey's head shot up, while I got up from the couch and darted to my room. Gerard stared at the bed, like his brother had stared at the floor, and cried.
"What happened?" I asked, though I should have known.
"What I told you would happen," he said, voice breaking. "I told her the truth, and now she's pissed. She's pissed at all of us. She's scared, pissed, and betrayed."
"Babe, you had to," I said, sitting down next to him. "She was gonna find out one way or another. And now she knows about Carrie. Now you only lied once."
"But she just started talking, and now she won't ever talk to me again,"
"She will," I assured him, taking his hand in mine. "Eventually, she'll realize you were trying to protect her. She'll be thankful. Maybe in a week, maybe in a year. But she'll forgive you."
He smiled at me. I wiped his tears away with my sleeves.
"I dunno. Maybe her therapist can convince her of that," he said.
"Hopefully. Should I go start the process now?"
"Well, she's pissed at you, too,"
Call it instinct or experience, but suddenly an eerie creeped up in me. Quickly it became more than a feeling, and turned into a fact. Milly had just done something.
"I'm gonna go check on her," I said, stumbling off the bed.
I sensed Gerard following me, but my focus had gone elsewhere. I knocked on Milly's door. She didn't answer, which made me nervous.
"Milly, open the door!"
"Milly, I'm not an invalid, I have a key," I said, hearing my voice shake. "If you don't open the door, I'll open it for you. I might even take it away. I can take your door away. It'll be like Freaky Friday with our personalities already switched!"
Not even a confused noise.
I yanked the key off the top of her door and shoved it in the doorknob. Unfortunately, I didn't open the door in slow motion like I would have in a movie. I didn't have that much time filled with hope. I just had the split second where my heart didn't beat, and then the heart attack when I saw nobody hiding behind the door.
Milly had run away. Again.
I looked at Gerard, and he looked at me. He looked more annoyed than surprised.
It's not running away when you pack for it, is it? Because I packed. Is it running away when you plan on never coming back? Because I was never going back.
In those few seconds between Frank's room and mine, I'd had it all figured out. Since Gerard didn't tell me anything, I wasn't going to tell him anything. Including where I was going, whether I was coming back, and if he would ever see me again.
I was going back to Oklahoma, and I would completely forget about him, Frank, and everyone else for the rest of my life. I'd make a living as a mime, or American Sign Language teacher...I couldn't decide. Until then, hopefully I could pull off giving puppy dog looks for food and water and sleeping between mattresses in a Costco's warehouse.
I didn't need Gerard. And I knew it would be permanent. Mainly because, whenever I had run away, I had either gone to one of his friends or I hadn't planned anything. I'd planned this.
And he would never see me again.