Thranduil's thoughts about his brief affair with Ereinion (Gil-Galad) during the last alliance.
Chapter: 1 of 1
Author: Nerwen Telrúnya
Author’s Email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Author’s Website: UNDER CONSTRUCTION
Genre: Romance/Drama (song-fic)
Summary: Thranduil's thoughts about his brief affair with Ereinion during the last alliance.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of J.R.R. Tolkien characters.
Warning: angst, mentioned death, homosexual relations between two elves.
Authors Note: The song is "The Last Song I'm Wasting On You" by the band Evanescence.
Through my own veins.
Any more than a whisper,
Any sudden movement of my heart.
And I know, I know I'll have to watch them pass away
…Just get through this day
His eyes were so beautiful, a sparkling gray that shines like mithril at times; I fell in love with those eyes. He infected my whole body, fire ran through my veins when he was near and I could hear the softest whisper through those lips. My heart felt as if it would break through my chest at times…and all the while I knew he would die one day…this war this conflict, I knew would claim his life, but I had to survive through it all but each day it became a little more difficult.
[*Give up your way, you could be anything,
Give up my way, and lose myself, not today
That's too much guilt to pay
I wished he would stop, I wished he would never fight again, just go home to where he would be safe, but he was proud and stubborn. He would not give up his way of life regardless of the rewards. I gave myself up for him, I was willing to lose myself, but not yet, I also had a duty that needed to be fulfilled.
Sickened in the sun
You dare tell me you love me
But you held me down and screamed you wanted me to die
Honey you know, you know I'd never hurt you that way
…You're just so pretty in your pain
He said he loved me, but I cannot believe that, he has many lovers and his anger will boil over and he yells and screams at me as if I am the cause of all his turmoil…it’s maddening and I would never treat him as he does me…he was perfect in my eyes but day by day he lost a little bit more of himself.
Give up my way, and I could be anything
I'll make my own way
Without your senseless hate... hate... hate... hate.
I gave myself up to him for the last time, my father had passed and I no longer could play by his rules, and the last thing I needed was his mindless hate blinding him in our sad mockery of a relationship.
So run, run, run
And hate me, if it feels good.
I can't hear your screams anymore
He could hate me…if that’s what he needed to do make it all easier on himself he could damn my name for eternity…I couldn’t hear his whisper and I could block out his screams if I had to. It wasn’t as if I didn’t know what he thought of me, it was all old intelligence it only took him longer to realize everything.
You lied to me
But I'm older now
And I'm not buying baby
He never loved me, not really, that’s the lesson all young people must learn I suppose…I will not ever listen to his lies again, and I’m older and have learned I will not buy into his lies ever again.
Demanding my response
Don't bother breaking the door down
I found my way out
I learned not to take his words seriously…I learned to deny him and reject him, to ignore him to the point where I no longer cared, I no longer heard his soft voice, felt the heat in my veins or the beat of my heart…I escaped from the terrible spell he wove around me.
And you'll never hurt me again.
He cannot hurt me again, for as I predicted he lost his life in this terrible war, my feelings now voided and empty, he had already broken my heart so his death did nothing…I would have not allowed myself closer to him again I would not risk that pain again…now though he will never hurt anyone again…ever.