Johnny is bored on a Saturday with nothing to do. To amuse himself, he thinks of all the ways his brother-in-law annoys him. Much amusement, if you like Johnny soaking wet...
Yeah, so you want to know how a hot-shot like me ends up with nothing to do on a Saturday? Well, I was sittin' here in my room, and I thought to myself, "Hey, I'll call up Betty and see if she wants to go out!" She's busy, she says. "Ok, well I know Karen said last week that we were through, but I'll call her up anyway." She's got a date already. "Well, I haven't talked to Tricia in a while. I'll giver her a ring." Her phone number's changed.
That's right, now I'm stuck here. There's not even anything to do around here. Except maybe practice a little. Sis doesn't like me using my flame in the house, but what she don't know won't hurt her.
Blast... Should have known she'd have Reed install some kind of fire protection in here. Well, now I'm bored and soaked. And the room is soaked. And there's a huge puddle running towards the door. And I can't do anything to dry this place up before someone notices. Because I'm too soaking wet to even catch fire to myself, let alone anything else.
You know, that's just like Reed. Always trying to ruin my fun.
You know what else? The Fantastic Four is like... Well, what are we like? Let's see. There's four of us. What else is there four of? Most animals have four legs. But you can't really compare us to an animal's legs.
Oh, that's right! Four elements! Of course, Ben would be the element Earth, and Sue would be Air. I, naturally, would be Fire. That would leave Reed with Water. That pretty much sums it up. Sometimes I think I'm at the bottom of the chain, because Water, Earth, and Air all have a way of putting out Fire.
But Reed's the most annoying. He's always trying to douse me out, mellow me down. Cramping my style, that's all he's doing, really. He thinks he's helping, but that's the problem. He spends all his time /thinking/. When is he going to stop thinking everything through first and just act?
Susie says I don't do enough thinking. She says I just jump into everything without considering the consequences. Well, she should be impressed, because I've done a whole lot of thinking just now! But I know she won't be. She's too busy with Mr. Wonderful over there. It's almost like she has no time for her kid brother anymore.
Ben isn't half bad. We used to have a pretty healthy rivalry thing going, but I think we've put that behind us now. Not that he has time for me, either. All he cares about is Alicia. And all Sue cares about is Reed. And all Reed cares about is Sue.
What about ME? I don't suppose it ever occurred to them that they kinda left me behind, did it? Not that it was their fault in the first place, but for once I'm not way ahead of them.
Well, that's enough moping for me. It's not like anyone else is going to fix my problems. Yeah, surprised, aren't you? A little shocked maybe? So I get a little depressed every now and then. But it don't take me long to bounce right back. You can't keep a good flame down!
And I mean that quite literally. Thank goodness I've finally dried off! It's time to go out and find me something to do. Something fun that my brother-in-law can't ruin!