Categories > Celebrities > AFI
Kiss and Control
2 Reviews“You want to jump,” it wasn’t a question. I had been waiting for her to say that for a while now. I guess I was resigned to it now. (one-shot)
It was a cold night in December. The coldest I’ve seen in awhile. I had a hard day and didn’t know where else to go, so I walked to the studio. I walked through the set seeing the sleeping cameras, lights and props. It was always freezing in the studio, but our movie was written to be in a desert. Ironic, right? It’s freezing but it’s a desert.
“What to do..?” I spoke aloud, thinking no one was there.
“Let’s run away together,” a voice spoke behind me, quoting the script of the film. I knew that voice anywhere. I turned around and smiled seeing my lover’s face.
“If I were to say yes, then I would surely be disowned by my father,” I played along and quoted my line from the script, walking towards her.
“Ah, but what’s life without a little risk?” She asked as I wrapped my arms around her waist. I kissed her lightly on the lips.
“I missed you, Winter,” I whispered, my face close to hers.
“I missed you too,” she kissed me back. I let her go.
“Let’s get out of here, it’s freezing,” I nodded in response. She took my hand and pulled me to an all too familiar place. We called it the Cutting Room. Because that’s what we did there…cut ourselves. You’re probably thinking how awful that is, but if you had our lives you would understand. Actors are constantly in the spotlight. Everything we do is examined and critiqued. We had to find a release; we had to find an escape.
We arrived and went inside. I walked over to the window, peering out into the bright lights of LA, my home. I heard the click of her heels as she slowly made her way to the window and stood next to me. We stood like that for a while until her beautiful voice broke the silence.
“Davey…” she hesitated.
“Yes, Winter?” I encouraged her to go on.
“I love you,” she said, not sounding satisfied with what she just said.
“I love you too,” I said, “Is that all you wanted so say?”
“…No,” she waited a moment, “Davey…I can’t take this anymore. I can’t live like this. I hate that I can never do anything right in their eyes. I hate that I am constantly told I’m not good enough. I hate…” her voice broke, and I saw one perfect tear falling down her cheek, “I hate this life, Davey.” She barely whispered. “…And, I was thinking… we’re on the 33rd floor, and it’s a long way down from here…maybe long enough to…to….” She trailed off, but I knew what she was trying to say. I can’t say I hadn’t been thinking the same thing for weeks now.
“You want to jump,” it wasn’t a question. I had been waiting for her to say that for a while now. I guess I was resigned to it now. She nodded finally turned her tear streaked face towards me. Her eyes showed the sorrow that she had held inside for so many years, and I felt a crushing pain in my chest from seeing her in so much pain. She took my hand.
“It’s the only way, and you know it,” she whispered. I squeezed her hand and nodded not really knowing what to say. She let go of my hand and carefully opened the window, letting the sounds of the city into the small room. She turned back to me and embraced me for the last time. She kissed me and I could taste the cold tears that were spilling from her icy blue eyes. She pulled away.
“Come with me,” she said simply. I was nowhere ready to die.
“I will. Soon.” She took a deep breath, and nodded, understandingly. I wasn’t ready to do this. Not yet, at least. She knew that just as well as she did.
“I will wait for you, endlessly,” she kissed me once more and stood up on the windowsill. In that moment, I believe, she looked the most beautiful I had ever seen. Her long, white hair and black dress were rustling in the soft breeze. She looked out the window and then back at me.
“We all want to die like movie stars,” she smiled through the tears and, graceful as a ballerina, jumped from the height of our cutting room floor.
“I will see you soon, my dear Misery.” I whispered as she fell.
“What to do..?” I spoke aloud, thinking no one was there.
“Let’s run away together,” a voice spoke behind me, quoting the script of the film. I knew that voice anywhere. I turned around and smiled seeing my lover’s face.
“If I were to say yes, then I would surely be disowned by my father,” I played along and quoted my line from the script, walking towards her.
“Ah, but what’s life without a little risk?” She asked as I wrapped my arms around her waist. I kissed her lightly on the lips.
“I missed you, Winter,” I whispered, my face close to hers.
“I missed you too,” she kissed me back. I let her go.
“Let’s get out of here, it’s freezing,” I nodded in response. She took my hand and pulled me to an all too familiar place. We called it the Cutting Room. Because that’s what we did there…cut ourselves. You’re probably thinking how awful that is, but if you had our lives you would understand. Actors are constantly in the spotlight. Everything we do is examined and critiqued. We had to find a release; we had to find an escape.
We arrived and went inside. I walked over to the window, peering out into the bright lights of LA, my home. I heard the click of her heels as she slowly made her way to the window and stood next to me. We stood like that for a while until her beautiful voice broke the silence.
“Davey…” she hesitated.
“Yes, Winter?” I encouraged her to go on.
“I love you,” she said, not sounding satisfied with what she just said.
“I love you too,” I said, “Is that all you wanted so say?”
“…No,” she waited a moment, “Davey…I can’t take this anymore. I can’t live like this. I hate that I can never do anything right in their eyes. I hate that I am constantly told I’m not good enough. I hate…” her voice broke, and I saw one perfect tear falling down her cheek, “I hate this life, Davey.” She barely whispered. “…And, I was thinking… we’re on the 33rd floor, and it’s a long way down from here…maybe long enough to…to….” She trailed off, but I knew what she was trying to say. I can’t say I hadn’t been thinking the same thing for weeks now.
“You want to jump,” it wasn’t a question. I had been waiting for her to say that for a while now. I guess I was resigned to it now. She nodded finally turned her tear streaked face towards me. Her eyes showed the sorrow that she had held inside for so many years, and I felt a crushing pain in my chest from seeing her in so much pain. She took my hand.
“It’s the only way, and you know it,” she whispered. I squeezed her hand and nodded not really knowing what to say. She let go of my hand and carefully opened the window, letting the sounds of the city into the small room. She turned back to me and embraced me for the last time. She kissed me and I could taste the cold tears that were spilling from her icy blue eyes. She pulled away.
“Come with me,” she said simply. I was nowhere ready to die.
“I will. Soon.” She took a deep breath, and nodded, understandingly. I wasn’t ready to do this. Not yet, at least. She knew that just as well as she did.
“I will wait for you, endlessly,” she kissed me once more and stood up on the windowsill. In that moment, I believe, she looked the most beautiful I had ever seen. Her long, white hair and black dress were rustling in the soft breeze. She looked out the window and then back at me.
“We all want to die like movie stars,” she smiled through the tears and, graceful as a ballerina, jumped from the height of our cutting room floor.
“I will see you soon, my dear Misery.” I whispered as she fell.
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