I felt so out of place. I didn't know what to do with myself. It felt like I'd been pulled out of my own body and I was staring myself in the face. God, now I knew how Paul felt. No wander he was acting the way he was. Stuart had this weird way of making you feel like you weren't yourself anymore. It was horrible.
I jumped when I felt two arms wrap around my waist.
"Miss me princess?"
I was shaking so hard, I couldn't even reply. He didn't bother waiting for an answer. Instead, he lifted my chin up so I was staring into his eyes and gently began to kiss me. It felt so soft and surreal that I couldn't pull away. When he withdrew himself from my lips, I felt a small feeling of disappointment. Inside was screaming for me to run but I couldn't. I didn't want it to stop. I moved closer to him, looking up at his face that was now bathed in the glow of the evening sun, feeling a sudden, yet powerful outburst of affection overcoming me. He looked back at me through those beautiful green eyes that glinted brighter than emeralds.
Why was he so perfect?
"I've been watching you for a while you know"
"I was waiting until the right time to tell you how I truly felt but..." he trailed off, lowering his eyes to the floor
"Yeah I know" I shifted awkwardly, "Paul"
"I can tell you feel the same way"
I blinked at him.
"And...I'm sorry. For the other day. What I did was wrong"
"Sssh" he placed a finger against my lips, "Don't worry. Me and Paul..it was all a mistake George, you don't need to worry about it. He's not the one I want anymore" he shuffled closer to me, "You are"
He reached out and placed his hands on my cheeks. I didn't resist, though my heart was beating heavily. I slowly elevated myself by standing on my toes and stared into his eyes, almost pleadingly, trying to communicate my desire to be consumed by him. He stared back, and apparently understanding my feelings, drew closer to me. I closed my eyes, my lips parted slightly, awaiting for what I had been longing for for years now, that old feeling of someone loving you. A few seconds passed before I finally felt his warm lips brush against mine.
It was at that very moment, I felt my passion for him course through my body, causing me to shake uncontrollably. Was it fear? I didn't know. I felt scared, I'd never done this sort of thing before. With Eric it had been quick and over in a matter of seconds. But this...this was real. It was too adult, it was too slow. I was too young. But I loved it, I loved every second of it. It was like the old me had drifted off to heaven, leaving my body far behind.
I raised my hands above his head, allowing him to wrap his arms around my waist again and hold me tightly as he began to promptly kiss my lips. I found myself moaning softly, kissing back to the best of my ability. Moments later, I felt his wet tongue slide between my lips. He was so...hungry. This was all to soon for me, but for some reason I couldn't get away from him. not that I wanted to. I greeted it with my own tongue, feeling his moist breath in my mouth. As we rubbed our tongues against each other, I felt his hands slide down my back and to my arse. I squirmed playfully as he squeezed it lightly and wrapped my arms around his neck. We kissed passionately, holding each other in our warm embrace, expressing our seemingly unspoken love. I suddenly realised what I'd been after for so long.I'd never been able to see it before. I'd convinced myself that I couldn't stand him. But now, pushing my tongue in and out of his mouth, I realised what I'd been looking for.
After what felt like eons to me, our mouths finally parted, and our eyes finally met. We continued to hold each other, silently staring into each others eyes. After giving him a watery smile, I placed my head against his chest. The beating of his heart was audible, an indication that he felt the same way I did. He started stroking my hair gently, planting a loving kiss on the top of my head and then nuzzling his nose against it.
"You're beautiful" he whispered and at that moment I felt my heart burst.
I didn't want to ever let go.
But then he pulled away from me and looked into my eyes.
"I need to go"
"Stay" I said longingly
"George" his voice was serious now, "There's something I need to take care of. But don't worry, I'll see you later ok?"
I nodded reluctantly. He smiled and planted a kiss on my forehead. I watched him leave and it was only then that I realised I was grinning from ear to ear.
Wow, we actually got a gig.
It was Pete that told me. He came bursting into my room whilst I was daydreaming and blurted it out so quickly I had barely blinked before he was gone again. This was a chance for me to show off my amazing guitar skills to John.
I knew Paul was in no mood to perform at the Indra that night. He was abnormally shaky before the performance, maybe because he could still see Stu wavering in the background. I couldn't help but feel jealous. Why wasn't Stu looking at me? Why was he acting like nothing had happened between us. Anyway, Paul looked like he'd be sick any minute and seemed to be struggling to stand. By the final number, he'd fled the stage before we had even taken a bow.
Brian had booked us into a hotel that night as a treat. We were grateful to get away from the shabby cinema screen and finally get a good nights sleep, though I knew Paul would be awake the whole night. Every five minutes he'd have to make hasty trips to the loo to avoid vomiting all over the carpet. I didn't know what it was. Whether he was sickening from something or just undergoing a mount of stress from the passing week. I didn't know, I just wished it'd stop.
I was woken up in the middle of the night by the sound of a toilet flushing. I groaned and turned over. Paul was up again. I was beginning to get tired of this. I wasn't prepared to give up my bedtime for his benefit. Something had to be done. I sat up and it was then that I realised that Stuart's bed was empty. And there were voices coming from the bathroom. I tiptoed over and listened, peeping through the tiny crack in the door. I'd been doing a lot of that lately.
"...You okay?" I heard Stuart ask, a hint of concern in his voice
"I'm fine" Paul replied, and I could hear he was washing his hands. I shuffled sideways to I could see properly and there was Paul, turned around, pushed back against the sink so he was looking into Stuart's eyes.
"You know when I said you satisfied me?" Stuart whispered, "...I meant it"
I felt the heat colouring my cheeks.
Paul made a lunge to get away but Stuart caught his hands, and ran his nose along his shoulder and up his neck until he could talk into his ear.
"I will make you mine Paul"
My cheeks were so hot they were burning. Paul broke free and stared at Stu again. The pause was a tense one.
"We'll see about that" Paul said finally and then suddenly pulled Stuart into such a hard kiss, it almost knocked both of them over. Stuart kissed back and opened his eyes for a second. They widened when he saw me, standing at the doorway with tears streaming down my cheeks.