Frank makes his mind up
Just a quick note to say that I’m sorry this chapter took forever x__x I have a lot of work to be in before Christmas so I’ve been working hard on that. Also, both this and Gold Digger are coming to their final few chapters now so I want to work extra hard on them to make them perfect.
I hope you guys understand I hope you enjoy the chapter :)
At some point in the early hours of the morning Frank could not keep his eyes open another second and he slumped against his table as he collapsed asleep. He had been watching Gerard all night to the point where he wasn’t even able to focus his eyes properly. The ringmaster was still breathing, but Frank was still deeply worried about him.
Gerard showed no sign of waking up yet, and when Frank fell asleep the last thought in his mind was that he hoped this was all just a bad dream and that when he woke up everything would be okay again. He certainly didn’t dream now he was asleep, too exhausted to do anything other than snore ever so softly with his face pressed against the hard table.
A few hours passed in blissful slumber, Frank not moving a muscle he was so deeply sleeping but soon a loud banging against the wagon door woke him up far too early for his liking.
“Mmph...” Frank grumbled softly as he slipped off his chair and practically crawled to the door. He was so tired he barely even glanced at Gerard before he pushed the door open with a yawn. “Yeah?”
“Frankie!” Cain gasped, scooping Frank up into his arms the second he opened the door and hugging him tight. “Are you okay? How’s Gerard? I’ve been so worried!” He whimpered, squeezing him tight and making him choke a little before Silver gently tugged Cain back with a smile.
“Don’t kill the man Cain.” He joked before going pale and covering his mouth as he realised what he said. “Oh, damn – Frankie I... I’m sorry I –”
“It doesn’t matter.” Frank said quickly, his bone crunching hug from Cain having woken him up a little more and he didn’t want either men being sensitive around him because of what happened. He just wanted to be treated as normal; it made him feel less panicked. “I... I watched Gee all night, I think he’s okay.” He said softly as he stood aside and let his two friends into the wagon.
Both Cain and Silver looked nervous as they huddled close together and followed Frank to peer at the ringmaster on the bed.
Frank hadn’t put the covers over Gerard, not wanting anything to hurt the older man and so he was completely exposed to their watching eyes. His chest was an array of angry looking wounds that had been stitched neatly shut, but all the blood had been washed away and he was still clearly breathing.
“I’d say since he survived the night he should be fine.” Cain whispered, laying a hand on Frank’s shoulder and squeezing gently as Frank stared at his lover with a growing feeling of pain. He loved him more than anything, and to see him like this was making his heart break itself over and over again.
“Shall I get the doctor to check him?” Silver asked quietly, Frank nodding but saying nothing. The slightly taller man sighed and turned him round to hug him a moment, pecking his cheek. “He’ll be okay now Frankie, you don’t need to worry.” He promised, offering a gentle smile which Frank was slow to return.
“I guess...” He agreed, shrugging and kissing Silver’s forehead. “Go fetch Amelia.” He smiled and Silver nodded, hugging him quickly again before slipping out of the wagon to go and get her.
Once Silver was gone Cain gently took Frank’s hand in his and laced their fingers, looking at him and smiling weakly.
“Are you okay Frankie?” He asked softly, worried about the mechanic. Frank was obviously upset and that was understandable, but there was an edge to him that was worrying Cain more. He had a thoughtful look in his eyes as he gazed at Gerard and Cain felt uneasy over what he could possibly be wondering about.
“Cain... Does anyone have any ideas where Maria might have gone?” Frank asked quietly after a long moment, his voice steady and calm, his body remaining relaxed even as he felt Cain tense beside him.
“I... No... No one has a clue. Why?” He asked suspiciously, gazing at Frank with intense eyes as he bit his lip. Frank ignored his gaze and didn’t move his eyes from Gerard, saying nothing as he stared at his lover. “Frankie..?” Cain mewled, gripping Frank’s hand tighter and tugging him round to look at him. “What are you thinking?”
“I want to find her.” Frank said simply, moving his eyes finally to look into Cain’s icy blues.
“Yes.” Frank looked back at Gerard and sighed, his free hand clenching into a fist. “I want her to pay for what she’s done.” He said softly, though his voice was laced with poison and Cain felt a shiver run down his spine. He had never seen that look in Frank’s eyes before and it frightened him a little. He could understand Frank would be feeling hurt and angry, and everyone wanted justice to be brought to Maria but Cain didn’t think justice was the thing on Frank’s mind.
“Oh Frankie... Honey that isn’t the way to go.” Cain said as gently as he could, softly stroking a hand through Frank’s hair before just resting his arm around his shoulders. “Revenge isn’t... it won’t make this any less painful, you know?”
“It’d definitely make me feel better.” Frank retorted softly, never moving his eyes off Gerard and Cain softly touched his cheek to force his face round.
“Would it?” He challenged, locking his gaze with Frank’s. “Let’s say, for arguments sake, that you went off now and actually managed to find Maria. What would you do once you had? Shout at her? Hit her? Kill her? Would any of that change what she did? Would any of it make her regret it?” He said softly but intensely, staring deep into Frank’s heartbroken and angry eyes, trying to make him see sense. “Would Gerard want that?”
“I don’t care what he wants.” Frank snapped on impulse, his fists clenching so tight his nails dug into his palms. “I don’t care if it won’t make Maria regret what she did. She deserves to die for this, okay? She deserves it, and nothing that you or anybody says will stop me from going looking for he –”
Frank jumped in surprise and turned to look at Gerard with wide, stunned eyes. The ringmaster was wincing in pain as he struggled to push himself up on his elbows, his body giving up a moment after and he collapsed back against the sheets with a moan of pain.
“Gerard!?” Frank gasped, rushing to his side and gently laying a hand on his shoulder. “Shh, try not to move... oh God...” He groaned, his eyes filling with tears as his heart raced. Gerard gazed up at him with pained, confused eyes, but just the fact that his eyes were open at all was more than Frank could have hoped for.
“Oh my... Gerard!” Cain fell into a fit of sobs as he collapsed down onto the bed and curled up at Gerard’s side, resting an arm around him but being careful not to touch him too much in case it hurt him. “Oh God... Thank God you’re alive.” He laughed through his tears, Gerard smiling weakly and tangling a hand into his long, blonde hair.
“I... What happened?” He asked eventually, his voice weak and gruff, his hands shaking a little.
“Don’t you remember?” Frank asked gently, struggling to form his thoughts as he sat down carefully on the edge of the bed. He had been so lost in his blood lust that he had barely thought about whether Gerard was likely to wake up that morning or not, but now that he had he felt overwhelmed with emotion. “Maria came into the wagon and...”
“Ah... Yes... Yes of course.” Gerard sighed softly, tipping his head back and closing his eyes for a moment as he took deep breaths. He felt as if his whole body was on fire and he was struggling to remain conscious. He could only just remember tiny details of the attack the night before but it was enough.
“Gerard, Silver’s gone to fetch Amelia and she can check you over.” Cain said gently, wiping his tears on his cheeks as he gazed at the ringmaster. “I’m so happy you’re okay.” He mewled, Gerard smiling at him again but it looked forced and unsure.
“Yes...” He said softly, supposedly in agreement but it came out flat and meant nothing.
“Gerard?” Frank mewled softly, his eyes full of worry as he began to wonder how okay the ringmaster really was. He didn’t seem himself at all and he began to panic that maybe he couldn’t remember. Maybe he didn’t even really know who he was.
“Gerard I... I’ve been so scared.” He whimpered, hesitantly reaching out to touch his fingertips to Gerard’s cheek and he sighed in slight relief when the older man automatically leaned into his touch, his eyes fluttering closed.
“Mm... M’sorry... I never meant to frighten anyone.” He whispered, his voice a little stronger now and some of Frank’s fear dispelled. “I... God... I feel so... weak.” He mewled, Frank whimpering softly and moving to slowly lie down beside him.
“Shh... Don’t waste your energy okay?” He whispered, softly stroking his thumb along Gerard’s cheekbone and gazing calmly at him when their eyes met. “I love you so much...”
“Oh Frankie...” Gerard sighed, closing his eyes and falling even weaker under Frank’s touch, one of his hands coming up to rest ever so faintly against the back of Frank’s wrist as he nestled his cheek into his palm. “I love you too...”
Frank sighed and relaxed at his words, smiling weakly as he lay beside his lover. He was still frightened, unsure as to how okay Gerard really was, but hearing him speak and seeing him awake was more than he had been expecting and so it meant the world to him.
Cain was silent as he watched the two men, biting his lip nervously. Gerard was obviously weak still and Cain’s heart was racing with fear that he was going to end up dying anyway. He was anxious for Amelia to arrive and give him the all clear, but at the same time he was desperate to have a moment alone with Frank. All his talk of revenge had sent Cain on edge and he wanted to make sure that the mechanic wasn’t going to do anything stupid. Searching for Maria was the worst thing he could do right now and Cain only prayed that he could see that.
“Hey, hey guys we – Is he awake?” Silver’s shocked voice caused Frank to open his eyes and look up, the brunette man tripping hastily into the wagon with Amelia close behind him.
“Gerard! Oh God, Gerard I’m so happy you’re awake!” Silver beamed, Cogs chirping happily on his shoulder as he dashed to the bed and pressed a tender kiss to the ringmaster’s cheek, though he resisted the urge to hug him, knowing it would only hurt him.
“Mm... Thank you.” Gerard sighed softly, his voice hoarse and Frank looked at him in worry as Amelia approached the bed with a gentle smile.
“How are you feeling Gerard?” She asked tenderly, sitting on the edge of the bed and starting to check Gerard’s stitches with delicate hands. Gerard closed his eyes and relaxed into the sheets, keeping quiet as he simply shrugged. “Do you feel any pain?” Amelia pushed, Frank gazing intently at his lover.
“I... mm... Everything burns...” Gerard eventually answered, Amelia nodding and biting her lip as she pressed over his wounds and checked his pulse.
“Do you mind if I open you up?” She asked after a moment, touching her hand to the key that was back around Gerard’s neck.
“Hm? No, go ahead...” Gerard whispered softly, closing his eyes and relaxing into the sheets as Amelia took the key off its chain and used it to unlock the bronze door in his chest. Frank leaned forward to look with her as the door swung open and they peered inside.
For a long while everyone was quiet, Gerard looking as if he was sleeping as Cain and Silver watched Frank and Amelia with nervous eyes. Cain was biting tensely on his lower lip as he leaned against Silver’s shoulder, even Cogs quiet as they waited for the verdict.
“Well? What are your thoughts Frankie?” Amelia asked after a moment, it becoming clear to her that she was just simply not cut out for this. She couldn’t see anything obviously wrong but then Gerard was half machine, and she knew nothing of machinery. His heart was beating steadily and nothing seemed broken, but she still looked to Frank for confirmation.
Frank gazed into Gerard for a little longer, his eyes scrutinising every last inch of the machinery inside the ringmaster to be certain everything was okay. He tipped his head at different angles, trying to see further inside the cavity of his chest but soon he had no choice but to sit back and let Amelia close the door again.
“It all looks okay... but I suppose only time will tell.” He said hoarsely, gazing at Gerard’s face with worried eyes until his lover looked at him too.
Gerard forced a weak smile and laced his fingers with Frank’s, pouting gently when Frank leaned down to kiss his forehead.
“Mm... I’ll be okay...” He promised but his words came out slurred, only making Frank worry more. He exchanged a look with Amelia as his heart twisted and his stomach churned, his head growing hot.
“I think the best thing now is just to keep a close watch on you.” Amelia smiled at Gerard, biting her lip when she glanced at Frank who was staring at the wall opposite. “Hopefully you’ll start to feel more like yourself the more you rest, and me or Frank will always be with you to make sure you have everything you need.” She continued softly, but by now Gerard was staring at Frank too. “Isn’t that right Frankie?”
“Mm... Yeah... Yeah I – What?” Frank squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head frantically before looking back at Amelia, Cain and Silver watching him with confused expressions but behind Cain’s mask of surprise was a look of knowing and horror.
“I was just saying me and you will stay by Gerard’s side until we know he’s fine.” Amelia said slowly, as if talking to someone who couldn’t hear properly. Frank stared at her for a long moment, taking in everything she had said and glancing at Gerard’s pale face again before he shook his head.
“Frankie?” Cain mewled, stepping forward as if to stop him from doing something but Frank started talking before Cain had chance to move even a foot.
“I can’t stay here.”
The silence that followed was so tense it was like it was something solid. Everyone tensed and stood completely still, Amelia’s eyes growing horrified as she stared at Frank. Silver just looked confused but Cain looked mortified, a moment passing before he began to fidget restlessly and his eyes started to glisten. Gerard though looked perfectly calm, his eyes locked on Frank’s face as his own face remained a mask of composure.
“W – What are you talking about Frank? Of course you can stay.” Amelia eventually whispered, but Frank only shook his head again, looking at Gerard with apologetic eyes.
“No... I can’t. I’m not going to sit here and be useless when I could be finding Maria.” He said simply, locking his gaze with Gerard’s and a moment of understanding passed between the two men.
“But... But why would you want to go find Maria? You need to be here.” Amelia gasped, Frank sighing and squeezing his eyes shut for a moment. He didn’t want to abandon Gerard, that was the last thing he wanted. But he couldn’t be here, couldn’t be what Gerard needed when inside he was just a writhing mass of anger. It was like Maria had poisoned him and his only antidote was to hunt her down and make her feel the same pain. He couldn’t help Gerard when he was becoming a revenge obsessed monster.
“I’m sorry... I can’t, I... I need to find Maria I –”
“Damn it Frankie no!” Cain suddenly snapped, his fists clenching as he stamped his foot as hard as he could. Silver jumped in surprise and Cogs squeaked in fright, hiding against the side of Silver’s neck as Cain scowled hard at Frank.
“You can’t do this Frank! You can’t just waltz off like this! Maria could be miles away by now, you’re no detective, you won’t be able to find her. You’ll simply end up getting lost and frustrated when you could be here helping Gerard. You’re supposed to love him, you’re the only one who knows how to fix the machinery – if you’re not here he could die.”
Frank scowled back at Cain and clenched his teeth, Silver whimpering softly and trying to calm Cain down but it was too late, and before anyone could say anything he and Frank were arguing heatedly together as Gerard watched in bewilderment.
“You think I don’t know that!? You think I’m not aware of what consequences it could hold!? I’m not doing this for the sake of it Cain! I have to find her, I’ll never be able to think straight if I don’t!”
“Oh that’s the biggest load of crap I’ve ever heard! I can’t believe revenge is more important to you than Gerard is!”
“Don’t you dare try to tell me that revenge is more important! I love him more than anything, but I can’t be here like this, not when I know that Maria is out there living her life like everything is fine when it’s NOT fine! I can’t... I can’t even focus properly, it’s like my head is completely screwed up. I need to do this Cain!”
“No! You need to be HERE to help Gerard – the man you supposedly love!”
“What do you mean ‘supposedly love’!? Don’t you try to tell me who I do or don’t love –”
“Well I certainly wouldn’t abandon someone I love just for the sake of revenge.”
“Well that makes you a saint doesn’t it?”
“Don’t be sarcastic.”
“What you gonna do about it?”
“You’re like a child!”
“You’re like a child!”
“Agh will you both just shut up!?” Silver suddenly shouted, gripping his hair and glaring at the arguing men as Cogs leaned forward on his shoulder and shook a metal fist at them both. “You’re driving me insane!”
Frank and Cain fell silent as they looked at Silver, shocked by his sudden anger. Cain’s cheeks slowly turned pink as he grew embarrassed and looked at his feet, chewing nervously on his lower lip and mumbling a feeble apology. Frank was panting softly, gazing at Cain and Silver with slightly shocked eyes, as if he couldn’t believe the force of his own rage.
“I’m sorry I... I just –”
“Just go.” Frank spun in shock as Gerard’s weak voice reached him, his eyes growing wide as he stared at his lover who was looking weaker than ever. Gerard sighed and tried to sit up, groaning in pain when he couldn’t and Amelia gently hushed him and brushed his hair off his forehead. He slowly opened his eyes again and looked at Frank, pain swirling in his hazel irises but at the same time he seemed calm. He was exhausted just from hearing Cain and Frank argue and he hated to see such conflict. He knew that it was unlike Frank to be like this, and he knew it was all because of Maria. He didn’t want Frank to leave, it would kill him without him being here but it Frank needed to do this then who was Gerard to hold him back?
“Gee?” Frank croaked, a lump rising in his throat as Gerard gazed at him.
“If you want to leave then I won’t tell you to stay.” Gerard said quietly, Cain going to interject but Silver softly hushed him so that Gerard could continue. “If you think that finding Maria is what will make you happy then don’t feel obligated to stay for me. I won’t feel abandoned.”
Frank gazed at Gerard in shock, his lips parting in surprise. He hadn’t expected Gerard to say that and he wasn’t sure how to feel about it. He didn’t want to just leave him but he couldn’t not do this. The idea of leaving Gerard behind made his heart break but the idea of staying just made him feel worse.
“I... You know I’d come back...” He croaked weakly, Gerard struggling to muster up a smile as he nodded.
“I hope so...” He breathed, a tear streaking down his cheek and Frank felt as if the lump in his throat would suffocate him if he didn’t do something about it soon.
“Gerard I –”
“Perhaps... You should go and pack some things... Amelia, have Pierre ready a horse... and... gather some food.” Gerard closed his eyes and took a deep breath, his strength clearly deserting him. “The longer you stand there Frank the... further Maria gets... Go, now.” He ordered weakly, Frank whimpering and trying to think of something to say that would make it better, that would make him feel like he was justified but no words came to mind so he simply nodded and walked sadly to the door.
“And Frankie –” Gerard whispered, Frank turning to glance at him over his shoulder. “Come back here before you go so... I can say goodbye... properly.”
Frank was sobbing as he folded his clothes up with shaking hands and put them into his bag. He felt as if every organ inside him was rupturing and falling apart, the guilt shredding into him and he wondered again and again whether he should just stay. He knew he wasn’t doing the right thing by leaving, but he knew if he stayed he just wouldn’t be able to rest. He was torn between his head and his heart, and as much as he wanted to follow his heart he couldn’t stop his head from taunting him.
It took much less time than Frank was expecting for his bag to be packed and for Pierre to inform him that a horse and food was ready and waiting. No one else in the circus had been told about his leaving, Frank wanted it to be kept mostly secret. He knew the circus folk would be angry at him for leaving if they knew, and he was ashamed enough as it was without people trying to make him stay.
“You really must go?” Pierre asked sadly as Frank stepped out of his wagon and slipped the strap of his satchel over his shoulder.
“I’m sorry Pierre.” He sighed softly, tiptoeing up to kiss the strongman’s cheek before lowering his gaze to the floor again. “This is just something I need to do... I’m just going to see Gerard and then I’ll be ready.” He smiled weakly, Pierre nodding and telling him the horse would be waiting at the exit of the circus for him.
“Thanks...” Frank mewled before heading off to see Gerard again, praying that it wouldn’t be the last time he did.
Gerard was still awake when he got back, Amelia sat with him though he had her wait outside when Frank arrived so that they could have some privacy. Frank sat down gently on the edge of the bed and tried not to look so ashamed of himself as he met his lover’s gaze.
“I’m sorry Gerard I... I know I shouldn’t be going and this is killing me but I just –”
“Shh, I understand.” Gerard hushed him quickly, smiling weakly at him and sliding his hand across the sheets to lace his fingers with Frank’s. The mechanic began to cry softly as he held his hand, sliding down so that he could rest his head beside his and slide an arm gently around him.
“I’m s – so sorry... I love you s – so much and I just... I wish I d – didn’t feel the need to do this but I...”
“Frank please, please shh...” Gerard sighed, squeezing his eyes shut as he tried to force back his own tears. He simply didn’t have the strength to cry and he squeezed Frank’s hand gently. “I love you too... I love you so much. I understand...” He promised softly, not wanting this to be a sad farewell, it would only make it more painful than it already was and Gerard was suffering through enough pain as it was.
“I won’t keep you long sweet... I just... wanted to give you something.” He purred softly, Frank peeking up at him through his tears with questioning eyes.
“Mhmm...” Gerard smiled weakly, moving his free hand to wrap around the key round his neck and start tugging it off its chain. Frank watched him with slowly widening eyes, his lips parting and he tried to protest as Gerard pulled the key free and pressed it into Frank’s palm.
“What? This? Gerard I... I... What use would I have with this? Please, take it back.” He instantly began to complain, trying to force the ringmaster to take it back but Gerard only smiled at him and shook his head.
“No... No Frankie please, just take it.” He said as firmly as he could, gazing intently into Frank’s watering eyes until the mechanic slowly closed his fingers around the key.
“I don’t want it whilst you’re not here.” Gerard said softly as way of explanation, sighing as he slumped a little into the sheets. “I don’t want anyone opening me up, not even me, whilst you’re not here. My heart belongs to you, you’re the only person who should be allowed to look it.” He purred, as if it should be obvious and Frank felt more tears threatening to fall.
“Gerard... I... What if you need to be opened? What if you take a turn for the worse, what if –”
“Well you’ll just have to hurry back then.” Gerard shrugged, smirking a little and wincing as he shifted and made his ribs ache. Frank sighed and bowed his head sadly, reluctantly putting the key around his own neck with a growing feeling of dread. If Gerard died whilst he was away then it would be all his fault...
“I... I will be back, as soon as I can.” He promised softly, Gerard nodding and gazing softly at him.
“I know... I’ll stay waiting.” He smiled back, pouting gently. “You better get going though, time is on the essence.” He sighed, Frank nodding reluctantly and moving to get to his feet but Gerard tugged his hand gently. “No kiss goodbye?” He mewled, Frank blushing as he looked at him.
“If I kiss you I might never leave.” He giggled weakly, Gerard smiling sadly at him.
“All the more reason to do it then.” He whispered, his voice full of hope and fear of rejection. As he gazed at Frank with sparkling, saddened eyes Frank could feel his heart breaking, and he knew he could never deny him.
“I guess...” He sighed, biting his lip before whimpering and leaning back down, his hands moving to cup Gerard’s face. A soft ‘oh Gee’ whispered by his lips before he pressed them softly but eagerly to Gerard’s and captured them in a gentle lock.
Gerard sighed softly and squeezed his eyes shut when Frank’s warm lips connected with his own. His heart began to race frantically, aching in his beaten chest as he weakly raised his hands to rest on Frank’s waist. Their lips suckled softly, parting every now and then to allow their tongues to touch for just a second before they would pout against one another’s mouths once more.
Frank could feel himself growing weaker and weaker as he kissed his lover, the urge to crawl into bed with him and just kiss him forever so strong that he found himself crawling back onto the bed and had to quickly stop himself. He broke away from Gerard’s lips with a soft whimper and kept his eyes tight shut for a moment as he regained his composure. When he opened his eyes Gerard was gazing at him with tears on his cheeks, his lips wobbling as he tried to pull them into a smile that just wouldn’t come.
“Go.” Gerard choked, moving his hands away from Frank and shaking his head. “Just go, please. Please go, I don’t want to stop you.”
Frank whimpered softly, wishing he knew how to make everything okay. Wanting to stay but needing to go. Torn, he finally made up his mind and pressed one final, desperate kiss to Gerard’s lips before he dashed out of the wagon before he could start doubting himself again.
Outside he took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair, sniffing back his tears and ignoring Amelia as she looked at him with worried eyes. He began to stride forward before she could try to talk to him and made his way through the field of wagons, past the big top and finally to the spot where his horse was waiting, Cain and Silver stood beside it.
Frank groaned quietly, not sure he could handle another goodbye but he continued forward anyway, trying to remain strong and re-find his earlier conviction. He knew he needed to go and find Maria, to get his revenge, but that didn’t make him feel any less of an ass.
“Frankie!” Silver called, waving eagerly as Frank approached them. Cain wasn’t looking particularly happy but Frank was relieved when he was pulled into a hug anyway.
“Hey guys... erm... I really don’t have time to –”
“We just wanted to say goodbye.” Cain interrupted, squeezing Frank tight. “Surely you have enough time for that?” He asked, glaring at Frank a little before sighing and hugging him tight again. “Do you really have to go?” He whimpered softly, his voice thick with tears and Frank sighed as he held him gently back.
“I’m sorry, but I really do.” He mewled, hugging Cain for a long moment before they reluctantly pulled apart and Silver hugged Frank too.
“We’ll miss you.” He whispered, Frank smiling sadly and kissing his cheek.
“I’ll miss you too.” He sighed, Silver smiling weakly and squeezing his shoulder before reluctantly pulling Cog’s from his shoulder.
“Erm... Frankie I... I want you to take Cog’s with you.” He mewled, holding out the metal monkey who gazed at Frank from his master’s palm, his jade eyes revolving and blinking as he clicked and whirred. He tipped his head from side to side, scrutinising Frank and scratching his ears with a metallic grating noise. Frank stared at him blankly for a moment before looking at Silver like he was crazy.
“Wh – What? Why!?” He gasped, tensing and trying to protest as Silver handed him the monkey who dutifully scampered up to sit on his shoulder. Apparently Cog’s was already aware that he would be leaving with Frank and fine with the arrangement. “Silver, I can’t take him he’s yours.”
“I know, but he can keep you company.” Silver smiled shyly, sadly tickling Cog’s chin as a way of saying goodbye and smiling when Cog’s nibbled his finger affectionately. “Plus, after you’ve found Maria and... everything, he’ll know how to find us if we’ve moved on.” He smiled, Frank opening and closing his mouth for a second though no sound came out.
Frank hadn’t thought at all about what he would when it came to return to the circus. But now Silver had mentioned it, it became strikingly obvious that he would never be able to find his way back if the circus had moved on. If Cogs would be able to show him the way back though there was no way he’d be giving him back.
“I... I don’t know what to say...” He eventually whispered, making Silver grin at him and peck his lips.
“Just say that you’ll take care of him and be home soon.” He smiled, Frank nodding and hugging his friend tight again before pulling Cain back into his arms.
“Also, Cog’s is a clever little guy. Once you’ve found Maria... he’ll know what to do.” Cain whispered into Frank’s ear, the mechanic looking at him with questioning eyes but the beautiful man didn’t elaborate. “Hurry home.” He simply smiled, Frank nodding and even smiling a little as he said his final goodbyes and climbed up onto his horse.
Cain and Silver stood with their arms around each other, Cain crying a little as they waved goodbye to the mechanic as he set his horse walking and began to make his way out of the circus. Luckily there was no one around to watch or try to stop him and he was free to wave goodbye to his friends, his heart breaking a little as he thought about Gerard. He prayed that his lover would heal and be fine by the time he got back, but he wouldn’t let himself dwell on those thoughts as he faced forward and drove his horse into a run, speeding out of the town with Cog’s bouncing about on his shoulder.