the title is pretty self explanatory :)
I woke up almost screaming, I dig my nails into Gerard’s chest purely out of fear. I can’t breathe and I’m all sweaty. Gerard wakes up and looks at me and his eyes are full of panic.
“I..I” I start to explain, but start crying, Gerard sits up and pulls me into his chest and rubs my back, “they were chasing me” I manage to wimper,
“Who were?” he asked softly,
I feel so pathetic about waking up, screaming and crying because of a stupid nightmare about stupid vampires, but I can’t help it.
“It’s okay. I won’t let them hurt you”
I feel strangely comforted by Gerard so easily understanding, it must be about 4am. I finally stop crying and Gerard keeps hugging me.
“I’m sorry Gee”
“It’s okay, I used to do this all the time” He sighed, “Want to talk about it?”
“Won’t we wake the others up?”
“No, they wouldn’t wake up during an earthquake” he joked,
“Oh…Well if you don’t mind, nobody’s really asked before”
“Go ahead, I’m all ears”
We moved so we were both more comfortable and I sighed,
“I don’t know why, but for some reason I’m terrified of vampires. I don’t understand it, they’re not real and I know that. I have these dreams, well it’s more like the same dream over and over again, where I’m being chased by vampires, hunted down. Sometimes they catch me but they never like, bite me, they just sort of torture me.”
“Seems normal to me…I mean, you moved all the way from England to America to get away from something. I don’t know what that thing is, I might never know, but you’re running. I don’t think you’re terrified of vampires, I think you’re terrified of the thing you are running from will catch you. The vampire could be like a symbol for death or something”
I think for a minute,
“I can see that. That makes more sense…The theory I came up with before is that I was running from myself, and I was the vampire. I was torturing myself.”
“You got it. With mine, I was dreaming somebody was killing me, after I tried drawing the person I learnt it was me. How long you been having the dreams?”
“About two years”
“What happened two years ago?”
“Life” I joked, “I was beginning to be depressed. I was suicidal mostly”
“Oh…Are you still?”
“I guess so. Sometimes. Not all the time”
Gerard pulled me into a tighter hug,
“I’ll be there whenever you feel like shit. I don’t care if it’s 3am. I will always be here for you”
“Thanks Gee, you’re a good friend”
I squeezed him, I looked up at his neck and then his lips and then his eyes. He was beautiful, in every way possible. I hated myself for thinking so but I did love Gerard, we’ve only been together for a few hours, but I had known him for two years, he just didn’t know me.
“I…I…I love you Gerard” I mumbled, it was stupid me telling him. What was he going to say? ‘I love you too?’ even if he did I wouldn’t believe him. “Sorry” I whisper,
“Why are you sorry?” He paused, “Don’t you love me?” he sounded hurt,
“Yes. Of course I do, but how can you love me? It must be horrible knowing somebody loves you more than you love them”
“It’s difficult, because you’re right I don’t love you, but that doesn’t mean I never will.”
I smile to myself. I pull away from Gerard and look him right in the eyes, he smiles at me and I smile back, or at least attempt to. I slowly lean closer and kiss him on the lips.
Just one kiss, no tongues, just a beautiful soft and meaningful kiss. His lips were so soft and warm, I pull away and Gerard smiles at me, I blush and smile back. Without thinking I begin to silently giggle, not a normal giggle, one of those annoying flirty giggles. I can’t help it, I am so happy I want to explode. Gerard looks at me with a cute confused half smile. I stop giggling,
“Sometimes, the fan in me is going to come through and I apologise beforehand”
Gerard just laughs and pulls me back into a hug, we slowly glide into a lying down position and I fall asleep in his arms again, something I was beginning to get used to.