"There were close to no words capable of describing Delilah... as the sun seeped in through the blinds, her eyes closed, face content in the land of slumber, I saw the light warming her skin, her r...
(#) jazz-going-crazy 2011-12-09 02:41:15 PMVery nice.I really like the imagery, and the easy, feminine diction created a calm comfortably for the heady, romantic sex sene. If u want a critique: try pulling more emotion out of the actions and reactions of the characters (how are they effected by...whatever?). Like, how do those "sexy sounds" make the narrator feel?, what do u want the sounds to accomplish for the reader? If u keep questions like that in mind when first describing them it will add alot of dimension to ur characters as well as the over all sene. Fuck everyone else even it u don't "get five review, from five different...blah blah blah" I still wanna see more work. So get to it!! Lol Great talent. Good luck!! :D