"Come back...I love you." For xxPanicFanxx.
"Gabe." He said.
"So how's your family? I haven't seen them in forever."
"Fine." He says with no emotion, I look down a bit saddened.
"So, what about you?" I ask as the waiter hands me a cup of hot chocolate.
"Good, and I'm working busier than ever." We continued talking a little talking about work, weather, whatever came up. Behind his nonchalant expression I could see that his guard was up every time he talked to me. Sadly I know why, I'm the reason why.
I remember last month, it was about the 10th of January. That was the day I broke his heart. Again.
We'd been going through some tough times and I was sick of it. I wanted my freedom, so I ended it with him. When I'd turned him away he, in a last attempt to try and change my mind he left a bouquet of roses on my door step. I had left them there in the cold to die. That is when he left, heartbroken, out of my life. Only at some point later did I realize what I'd done.
"Ry-Ryan..." I said stumbling on my words. He looked up at me with the same expression.
I swallowed hard, pushing away my pride that had ruled my life.
"I-I'm really sorry for that night, I really miss you, I wanna go back to how we were, like back in December." December was when we were at the height of our relationship. It was the time we were really inseparable. When we were really in love. The time I missed most. He seemed a bit shocked.
"Why Gabe? Don't you want your precious freedom?" Every word stung at me like venom.
"Freedom isn't anything but missing you. I just wished I realized what we had when we were together..." My mind kept going back to December, when he would hold me, and make me feel alive.
"Well it's too late for that. Goodbye Gabe." He stood up, placed a few dollars on the table for his hot cocoa he'd had and left me there without another word.
Days passed and I didn't really sleep, I stayed up, playing back that night of myself leaving him. I remember his birthday passed a few days afterword, I didn't even attempt to pick up the phone. I regretted everything.
I thought about how we used to take long drives in the summer. We joked all the time, seeing his smile, hearing his beautiful laugh. We would drive out to a little field we'd found, and spend the afternoon kissing and talking in the summer breeze. By fall I fell in love with him.
Then everything started going down hill. We fought more. I didn't feel as free. My pride started taking over and fears crept their way into my mind. That I was going soft.
Throughout all of it, all he did was love me. That was all he ever gave me. Even that faithful night when I ended things he tried giving nothing but love and I was stupid enough to not give him anything, not say anything but goodbye.
I was almost too sad to get up from my seat, I slapped a couple of bucks down on the table for my drink and ran out the glass door, the little bell tinkling above my head.
"Ryan!" I called but he was already gone. I swallowed hard and rushed home, tears started falling from my eyes as I went down the street, but I didn't care. As soon as I rushed in the door of my house I broke down lying on the couch. Sad sobs poured out as my cat, Bruiser, rubbed up against me, almost sympathetically.
"I'm sorry." I choked out between sobs, wishing Ryan was there.
All of the wonderful times with him came flooding back in my mind, torturing me for what I did. I really wish I realized what I had with him before I ended it. I wanted desperately to go back to the old times.
Ryan's face came in my mind. I missed everything about him, his pale skin, the sweet smile he always gave me, how he'd held me in his arms that September night when my when my daddy passed away. It was the first real time he'd ever seen me cry. I would give anything to have those same warm arms around me again.
Maybe it's just wishful thinking, but most likely it's nothing but stupid mindless dreaming. If he takes me back again I swear I'd love him back, the right way.
Without thinking I grabbed my scarf and hat and rushed out into the cold. It was already snowing outside. I got in my car and drove to his house. I knew he probably wouldn't open up when he saw who was at the door but I was willing to try.
I knocked on his door, and as soon as he looked out the window he locked the door.
"Ryan, I'm sorry! Okay? If I could go back, I'd change what happened alright! So if you insist on keeping me out I...I understand." I couldn't go on without breaking out into tears. I swore out of the corner of my eye I saw him looking back out from behind the curtains but I kept walking until I broke down on the curb and cried till I fell asleep with my head in my knees.
I listened as Gabe about nearly poured her heart out outside my door. I swore I heard her choke into sobs as she started walking away. I looked out from behind my scarlet red curtains to see her break down and sit crying on the curb. Eventually she stopped moving, I quietly crept outside grabbing my coat to get a better look. I slowly came up behind her and saw she'd fallen asleep.
Her tears were frozen to her face, making her look so sad and innocent. Frost and snow was beginning to get stuck in her gorgeous raven hair. Gah! No she broke your heart remember idiot! You can't be falling for her again. Gabe started mumbling something in her sleep.
"Ryan..." She mumbled so low I almost couldn't hear, " Come back...I love you." My world froze, did she really care that much? Ignoring my usual judgement I pick her up bridal style in my arms and carried her into my house. As much as I hated to admit it, I still cared for that little vixen, she had stolen my heart again without even realizing it. Inside I carried her into my room and laid her down, I took off her boots, hat, everything until she was in just her t-shirt and leggings she'd had on under her jeans. I tucked her in and climbed in next to her, wrapping my arms around her.
I woke up the next morning unaware of where I was. I tried sitting up but I felt a bit of weight on my hip. Looking up I saw Ryan, arms around me, still fast asleep. I smiled almost ready to cry again. I reached up to move a piece of hair out of his face. That was enough to get him to wake up, he had always been a light sleeper.
"Does this mean...?" I started unable to finish my sentence. He took my chin in his hand and leaned in. His warm lips felt so wonderful against mine. He pulled back.
"You still love me?" I asked.
"Who said I stopped loving you, Gabe?" I leaned in to kiss him again.