Frerard oneshot. Gerard can't understand what Frank finds so entertaining about the Sims.
So...how did I come up with this? I love the Sims. Sad, I know but how can you talk? You’re the one reading this. And you should, even though it’s kinda shitty. Well, it’s alright. I don’t really know. You tell me.
Gerard knocked on the door once, twice, and waited, teeth chattering with the cold for it to open. It was freezing, even for a day in December and he wished remorsefully that he had worn a hoody under his jacket but at last the door opened, a gust of warm air from inside the house hitting him full on in the face as Mrs Iero was displayed, a welcoming if not slightly surprised smile on her face.
“Hello Gerard,” she greeted him. “Aren’t you supposed to be at the ice show with your parents?”
“I got bored,” he shrugged, sidestepping her into the house. “Frank in?”
“Depends on your definition,” Mrs Iero frowned disapprovingly. “He’s in his room but he hasn’t moved from the computer all day. Thank goodness you came round, maybe you can get him off it.”
“I’ll try,” said Gerard, racing up the stairs to Frank’s room, thinking privately to himself that if Frank hadn’t moved from whatever it was all day Gerard’s appearance was unlikely to change that.
Sure enough, Frank didn’t even look up when Gerard entered. He hovered by the door, trying to get a good look at whatever was on the screen but his best friend’s head was blocking it.
“You know, I can leave if you’re busy-” he began but was interrupted by Frank’s impatient “Shhhh!”
Perplexed, Gerard wandered over to where Frank sat, staring at the computer screen, eyes wide with anticipation. A few seconds passed in silence until a sudden musical tune issued from the speakers and Frank relaxed, pausing the game and swivelling round in his chair to face Gerard.
“Hey dude,” he grinned. “Vassup?”
“The fuck are you doing?” Gerard asked, gesturing to the computer screen.
“Only playing the best computer game ever invented by a genius with enough money to make up for his lack of friends,” Frank replied.
Gerard leant in closer to squint at the figures on the screen, turning to shake his head at Frank, a disbelieving look on his face. “The Sims?”
Frank shook his head. “The Sims 2.”
“You spent the entire day locked in your room, refusing to speak to anyone, playing someone else’s virtual life?”
“Sounds about right.”
“Jesus Christ, how old are you?”
“Doesn’t matter about me,” said Frank dismissively. “See that one there?”
He pointed to a woman dressed in a long blue evening gown and a cowboy hat. “Only ten days to go till she becomes an Elder,” he explained. “Her life’s nearly over. And now, after hours and hours of trying she is finally pregnant with her first child!”
His beam was so huge it took up half his face. Gerard resisted the temptation to burst out laughing at the ridiculousness of the whole situation. “You spent hours trying to make her pregnant?”
“Well, not hours. About forty-five minutes.”
“Do you actually have a life?”
“It’s fun!” he protested, unpausing the game and settling back down in front of it. “Here, you have a go. But not on this family, I don’t want you screwing it up.”
He left the house and entered a different neighbourhood, a neighbourhood labelled “Jingletown, Suburbia.” Intrigued, Gerard watched as Frank clicked on another family of three, a family which looked strikingly familiar...
“You made Green Day on the Sims?!” Gerard stared, shocked. “You sad, sad obsessive!”
“Hey, no one asked you to come over here and take the piss out of my life!” Frank snapped crossly.
“It isn’t your life! It’s a virtual simulation of one of your favourite band’s!”
“No, look. Just look,” Frank stood up and forced Gerard into the chair, placing the mouse in his hands. “Play,” he ordered.
Gerard rolled his eyes and let out a deeply exaggerated sigh which Frank ignored, muttering something that sounded like “don’t fuckin’ knock it until you’ve tried it” under his breath. The house was so huge Gerard had to zoom out to get a good look at it and was complete with a massive swimming pool and hot tub where Mike and Tré appeared to be splashing each other. Billie Joe was in the kitchen, preparing lunch meat sandwiches and dressed in a bright pink gorilla suit. Still thinking about how pathetically moronic this all was, Gerard began to play.
An hour later, Mrs Iero knocked on the door. “Hey guys, I made some-”
“-Shhhhhhh!” Frank and Gerard cut across her, listening hard for the tell-tale tune of pregnancy. At last it came and the two cheered and high-fived.
“Get in!” Gerard yelled happily.
“Can’t believe we got Tré ‘alien pregnant’ without cheating! I’ve been trying to do that for ages!” Frank shook his head in disbelief.
“It’s cos you was missin’ da Master,” Gerard nodded knowingly.
“Right, well, when you two girls are finished there’s a pizza on the table,” Mrs Iero left the room unnoticed.
Frank stood up. “I need to piddle,” he said.
“Good to know,” Gerard replied, ordering Mike to rap freestyle.
“Don’t screw it up while I’m gone,” Frank warned. “The oven is now forbidden to you without my supervision. I worked hard on that house and I don’t want it burning down because you got bored of waiting for a TV dinner.”
“Yeah, fine, whatever, go pee,” Gerard replied as Frank left for the bathroom.
As soon as he was gone, Gerard exited Jingletown and browsed through some of the other towns Frank had created. He certainly had been a busy boy; there was Horror Town which was swarming with vampires and zombies, Smallville which had been lifted straight from the TV and a few others with names like “bfghjn” and “blahblah cock” which he seemed to have made in a second for no reason whatsoever. Gerard was about to return back to Green Day when he noticed one more town labelled “Dream Life”. Curious, he clicked on it.
There was only one family living in this town, a family of which two Sims also looked incredibly familiar. Gerard clicked on the lot, a sense of foreboding washing over him, a feeling increasing as he stared into his own Sim’s face.
It really was a remarkable likeness. Evidently Frank had spent a long time trying to make Gerard look as realistic as possible, except for the bright red hair. Frank too looked a lot like himself, if a little taller than in reality and was playing an electric guitar. Their house was beautiful, only a little smaller than Green Day’s and decorated with band posters and canvases the Sim Gerard had done and was at the present working on. There were five rooms, one which they apparently shared and four more where children slept, their hair also dyed fantastic colours and with names like: Ramona, Sid, Cherry and Savage. It all looked peaceful. It looked perfect.
The sound of Frank re-entering the room was enough to make Gerard leap a foot in the air. He turned around slowly. Frank’s eyes were wide, his mouth half-open as he stared at the screen.
“Um...I...erm...I was really bored,” he finished lamely. Gerard said nothing. The Sim Frank had abandoned his guitar and was now kissing him tenderly. Frank shuffled his feet, avoiding his friend’s eyes.
“We’re married in this?” Gerard asked him, oh-so casually.
Frank shook his head, looking defeated. “I’m really sorry, Gerard. I don’t know why I made it. I just...I don’t know. I’m pathetic. I’m sick. I’ll delete it now, I just...oh fuck, I-”
His mouth was stopped by Gerard’s who was now standing in front of him, overcome with shock and happiness into doing something that he had wanted to do for a very long time. The craziness of it was evident but something meant he couldn’t stop, even if he wanted to. Maybe it was Frank’s lips so soft and tender against his, or the curve of his smile or his hands in his hair, maybe it was the taste of him or the smell of him which made it so much more real than some simulations making out in a fantasy virtual world and so much better. Seized by surprise and joy, Frank was finding it very difficult to think of anything except for the fantastic realness of the kiss, a realness which no matter how many times he had played it in his head he had never before managed to capture.
They were grinning when they broke apart. Frank ran a hand through his hair sheepishly, making it stick up at the sides. Gerard gestured towards the screen where his Sim was checking himself out in a mirror. “Why red?”
Frank shrugged. “You’d look hot.”
Gerard looked at the Sim interestedly. “You think?”
He nodded. “The Sims never lies.”
“I like Cherry. For a girl.”
“How about Savage?”
“Not happening, Iero.”
“Aw, come one!” Frank pouted. “Fine. I’ll make you Die by Flies.”
“You couldn’t do that.”
“No way. You can’t live without me. The proof, my friend, is on the screen.”
Frank typed the phrase into the cheat box and clicked on Gerard before selecting “Die by Flies”. They watched as a swarm of black pixels attacked, leaving nothing but a pile of ashes. Frank turned to Gerard triumphantly. “Suck it, bitch.”
“Not now. Your mom’s still in.”
“You were thinking it. I’m gonna go get some pizza. You want?”
“Lots of cheese, please.”
Gerard nodded and practically skipped downstairs, feeling increasingly elated. He felt like singing. Whistling. Something. He started humming as he walked into the kitchen, some romantic stupid song he didn’t know the name of, grabbed the pizza and raced back upstairs. Upon re-entering, Frank quickly clicked out of the lot, casting a nervous look over his shoulder which sent Gerard’s suspicions racing as he caught a sudden flash of bright red hair.
“You resurrected me, didn’t you?” he grinned.
Frank’s shoulders sunk at being caught out. “The house looked empty without you.”
Laughing, Gerard wrapped his arms around Frank’s skinny frame and kissed him again. The best computer game ever invented by a genius with enough money to make up for his lack of friends, he thought to himself. Period.
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