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Chapter 4: Don't Leave Again
By: Katryn Parker (used to be Brynn...don't ask)
Author's Note (!IMPORTANT!): Just a warning...this chapter and the rest of the story will contain non-explicit situations involving sex. These will NOT BE EXPLICIT, and I'm keeping it at this rating, but I felt like I needed to warn you.
"So I've kissed her..." Kazuma said to himself as he walked into his room and took off his shoes. "Now what am I supposed to do..."
The truth was that no other girl had ever really been interested in him. Sure, there had been all of Kimishima's friends - women that lived on the street, willing to pay him back in any way for helping them...but that wasn't love. This was love.
If Ayase hadn't died, where would I be now? he wondered for a minute, throwing off his jacket. What had she said to him...he couldn't remember...but there was some attraction there, definitely. I wouldn't have been kissing Kanami, that's for sure. He shook his head. He definitely wanted to be kissing Kanami.
Where had this feeling come from anyway?
Meanwhile, Kanami was thinking practically the same thing...she'd always looked up to Kazuma as an older brother. She supposed that now she might just want him...it was certainly a very strange change, and she didn't know what she was supposed to do now.
"Well, as a start I guess I should just go to bed," she told herself, looking at her reflection in the small mirror in her room. A woman she didn't know looked back at her...she hadn't really realized before now that she wasn't a little girl anymore. She was eighteen now, able to make up her own mind and...legally...be with a man.
No, don't think of that, she scolded herself, walking away and getting into the bed. She pulled her covers up to her chin and tried her best to get to sleep.
He couldn't help it...he just had to see her beautiful face again.
As he walked through the small house, he realized that the only pictures she had were of when she was a little kid. Back then, he'd been younger than Kanami was now...still just a kid...but so much responsibility. And Kanami had been charged with taking care of him at that age.
"She was always stronger than me..." he murmured, pulling his fingertips across one of the pictures and thinking of how much weaker she seemed now, "Why..."
"Can't sleep?" a voice said from the other side of the room.
Kazuma jumped, looking over awkwardly and almost knocking the picture over. "Kanami...uh, no."
She smiled, sitting down on the couch and turning on the TV. "Me either...hey, look, it's Mimori."
Kazuma sat down on the couch, staring at the TV. Kanami had told the truth; that was definitely Mimori. The young doctor had gotten older as well...and seemed to have taken a turn for the worse. Gray already streaked through her dark hair, and she barely smiled at all in the speech she was giving.
"So when did we get public television here?"
"Just about a year ago," Kanami answered, looking over at him, "You really have been outside of civilization, haven't you?"
"Yeah...you didn't believe me?"
"It just seemed so strange."
"Why?" he asked, "I always seemed like the uncivilized type, didn't I?"
She laughed. "I guess."
They were both quiet for a moment and stared at Mimori on the screen. "How long has it been since you last saw Ryuhou?" Kanami said quietly, "If you have any idea where he is...I'd love to tell Mimori. She misses him...I can still feel her pain." She reached out a hand to the screen, as if she could touch the woman.
Kazuma brought a hand up and took Kanami's down from the screen, gripping it tightly. She looked towards him in surprise. "I haven't seen Ryuhou for as long as you...ten years, Kanami. I don't know what happened to him anymore."
"Well, I haven't felt him die...but he's not in a good place," Kanami said, closing her eyes, "Sometimes I try to find him...but he's too far away. You were too." She squeezed his hand, opening her eyes. "You have no idea how good it feels to see you in real life again...no more dreaming to see you, no more using my alter."
"If I have anything to say about it, you'll never have to again." His eyes widened when he saw tears appear in her eyes. "Wha...Kanami, was it something I said?"
She threw her arms around him and he leaned back a little in surprise, putting them in a more than awkward situation. He was now on his back, and Kanami was still lying on top of him, sobbing into his shoulder. he awkwardly put a hand on her back and stroked her hair. "Uh...what's wrong?"
Still crying, she propped herself up on his chest, blushing. But she just couldn't make herself get up...this was comfortable...and for the first time in a long time, she felt safe.
"I have something to tell you," she said quietly.
He frowned, picking his head up a little to look her in the eye. He was all too conscious of her long, delicate fingers gripping his shoulders, her body against his. "What is it, Kanami?"
Tears streamed silently down her face as she opened her mouth and closed it, obviously getting ready to say something very important. Kazuma lifted his hand and lightly dragged his fingers across her cheek, trying to wipe off the tears, but they just continued to pour down her face. She bit her lip. "I can't...I'm sorry...maybe I'll tell you one day..."
He nodded, and she closed her eyes, dropping her head onto his chest. "It's just that...when I'm with you...I feel so safe," she sobbed, "And it's good to know you're staying with me this time..." She looked up again. "Because I believe you."
He stared up at her...her beautiful eyes, porcelain skin, her pink lips slightly open...and he couldn't help himself anymore. "Kanami..." he whispered hoarsely as his arms tightened around her and he pressed his lips to hers.
She responded immediately, pulling her hands up into his tousled hair and tilting her head. She felt his tongue push against her lips and she opened them, allowing him to explore her mouth as she fit her jaw against his. His hands traveled across her ribcage, pulling and twisting her tanktop up around her ribs, and she pulled her own hands down to his neck to realize that his skin was on fire. She felt the same.
He pulled away from her and dropped his head back onto the couch, and she sat up awkwardly, pulling her light top back to where it originally was. "Sorry," he said quietly.
"Was I stopping you?" she said, blushing. I hope he gets the point...
"I don't want to hurt you," he said.
He doesn't get it... "But I want you," she whispered, realizing that her hand had naturally entwined with his.
The couch bounced as he abruptly sat up, staring at her, "But..."
"Why would you think I wouldn't?" she said, still blushing. "I've told you that I want you to stay...that was the second time I've let you kiss me...I asked you if we could be more than friends..."
He put a finger to her lips, silencing her. "I get it," he said, quietly, "Sorry..." He scratched his head, laughing sheepishly. "I'm not exactly the smartest guy you'll ever meet."
"But you are the one I love most," she said, smiling, "Thank you."
She got up, brushing herself off, and he tried not to stare at her beautiful figure in the little blue tank and pajamas. "Kazuma..." she said, looking back at him, "We should probably go back to bed."
Half hoping it was an invitation, but knowing that it wasn't, he stood up. "Alright...that was the plan, anyway." He grinned. "Goodnight."
He laughed as she walked back into her own room, shutting the door behind her.
"She still so innocent..." he murmured, then leaned against the wall, frowning. "But what was she going to tell me that made her so upset?"
Author's Note: Well, it's not really as long as I'd hoped, but I think it's still pretty awesome! I just had to finish it there...nighttime encounter was done, and it was time to end the chapter. I do think that was the longest conversation I've ever written though...
I want you readers to let me know if you think I should change the rating to M...but I don't think it'll get more explicit than that. I really don't want to change the rating, because then people will expect me to write a full lemon...which I DO NOT want to do.
Sorry I didn't update for so long! School got out and I wanted to finish my Inuyasha fanfic and write more on my Fullmetal Alchemist one before I continued this. Also hope you liked the chapter, and please REVIEW!